I started writing today as it just flowed within me. Its not complete but can i get some feedback?

Question

What is life really about? Sometimes we ask ourselves that question at least once during a lifetime. I asked myself this question yesterday, the day before and now today as I am writing this, I still question myself. Is life about how we’re created? One small cell that develops into what we are now? Is life about populating the world, creating more so that our genes gets passed on? Is life about living it to the max? Going out at night? Doing drugs? Gaining experience from what we do the mistakes we make and learn from that? Or are we all actually aiming for that just one goal. That’s to find the perfect partner and have a happy ending. As a kid we all looked forward to our birthdays, Christmas, holidays and sometimes even going to school because we get to see our mates or go to our favourite lesson. From a kid comparing to teenage and to an adult prospective view, there isn’t much of a comparison. We all want to have fun whatever we’re doing. As a kid we want to have fun playing with our toys we received at Christmas, as a teenager we want to go out and get drunk with our mates, sharing that special moment and reflect to it as we get older, And as an adult sharing those special times with the one that we love the most and we’re willing to put our lives on the line just to see them succeed in life. But do we ask ourselves; what is the point of all of this. The world, being created, growing up, dying. What is the point of being born? Growing up from being a baby, turning into a teenager? Then get to an adult? At the end all we’re going to get is a life that sometimes we desired and sometimes we hate. As we’re born, we are given jobs automatically. As a baby we’re meant to grow, As a kid we’re meant to learn, to enjoy our time as a kid, As a teenager we’re meant to prepare ourselves for the future, ensure that we learn so one day we will have a decent job so that we can support a family and as an Adult we can live long enough to see our children graduate and tell ourselves that at that moment we are good parents because our children now can look after themselves, can earn a living doing something they love, have children of their own. But what we don’t know when we’re a kid or a teenager is that life is full of obstacles. Some people like to find their way round them and some like to take it as a challenge and go through it because once they have done so they know they could take the whole world on.

Answer 1

Very good. Keep writing and see where it might go.  

Answer 2

good reading , welldone !!!!

Answer 3

i'd prefer a more personal touch,  

not everyone has the same experiences, so maybe a little more detail would capture the reader, i feel (my opinion) its too broad and generalized.

gives me the impression of someone outside looking in, like a third party. although the emotion is there.

a lot of room to explore..after reading the second part, i'd like to know more about how you feel, not how you would expect everybody to feel.

keep writing you've caught my attention.

Answer 4

wow, that is really exploring things. i sounded really good. there are a few grammatical errors though. and i have to say that i think it would sound more professional if instead of saying 'kid' you used 'child' or 'youngster' or something like that. but with that aside you did a great job. you really got me thinking.  

Answer 5

Your writing is good especially for a first timer.

You start off well by putting up some questions and then guiding the reader through your observations almost answering the question you provoked. It would be brilliant if you coudl come up with a good conclusion too. not necessarily an answer but some way to round it off, incase this is where you intend to end it.

Every peice of writing according to me should in the end should lead to some idea, answer, reach a conclusion or even a leave a question. In your case you could say that you end it with a question, but I would say that you started off with the question really. Any written piece according to me must build up to something at the end.

Now that all this naturally flowed out of you ... come back to this peice someother time and round it up in some way.

Positive side: Very direct writing, clear and to the point. Very thoughtful too. You have been able to verbalise something we all must have realised at some point but never could articulate. You coudl do very well.

All in all a good job, scope for improvement but you sure do have it :D

Answer 6

I enjoyed it and it's professionally written.

I mean once you start reading it you want to go on and that is what's important. It's very interesting and starts well with all those short existential questions that many are interested in. It looks like the beginning or part of a self help or philosophical lifestyle book for which there is a fairly good market and reader's request.

Keep going!