I still love my husband!?

Question

What can I do, we have been separated since February (he is Iranian and our cultures clashed for 7 years) and my family hate him. We have a small son who adores him (he is a good father) but I can't let go, I never felt this way about anyone else but I know living together doesnt work. He has never been abusive physically but a little controlling and arrogant. What can I do?

Answer 1

Let him go ride camels around in the sand.

Answer 2

This is the way I always looked at it for my son and I. What is the best for the child? If you go back with that man- can you both together provide a healthy and loving inviroment for little son? If there is fighting and turmoil all the time he will grow up thinking that is okay to live like that.  

Answer 3

WOW, are you responding to your family or YOUR feelings. Sometime you have to tell your family to back off. Do what makes you happy, do what is best for you. Don't let your family dictate your happiness because you may regret it You  fell for him as he as, what changed???.

Answer 4

When you say you love some one, that mean you should love the good side and the bad side of that person. to be able to live with him you have to like him.

We are just human, and that mean we are not perfect. We live we make mistake, and we learn and we make it better for tomorrow. But don't forget, some people never grow up, and a fool never learn.

What make you left him before will be the same thing making you to leave him later.

some time best just being friend.

Answer 5

Avoid divorce...try to strike a balance in your relationship...find out what it would take and discuss with him

Answer 6

Bring it to is attention and try to talk things out. If he just doesn't get the picture then move on with your life. If he bothers you, chop off his head with a sword like they do in his home country like they do their women if their caught cheating. ( Just Teasing ).

Answer 7

Forget culture because he sounds like a good guy and if your family hates him they have a problem. He is a wonderful father to your and if he seems controlling it is because your family is mean to him, Being Iranian has nothing to do with it,  Face it your family is prejudiced. Arab men can be very romantic.

Answer 8

At some point you have to ask yourself if love is enough.

Culture clash, parents hating, arrogance, controlling, and all that add up to some misery.

You can still love him, but know that being together is not the right thing.

If you think you can work it out, get some counseling and give it a shot, if not, take more time to discover yourself, forgive yourself for a failed marriage and allow yourself to move on and love again.

Take care and good luck

Answer 9

How does he feel about it?  If you feel that strongly about him try and work it out.

Answer 10

I feel so sorry for you. I am male and unfortunately am quite arrogant, despite trying not to be. My point is it is difficult for someone to change even when they recognise their weakness. But, you need to explore paths for reconciliation or accommodation of your culture clash. You obviously love him, and I feel strongly that that every child needs a father, or father figure. Ignore what what your family thnk, unless one of them will provide the guidance that a caring father will provide (and if they say they will, get them to agree in a covenant not just vague promises)

You ought to try Relate.. There are other counselling services too - you can find them easily. Most charge based upon means, so they are not expensive (and certainly not compared to divorce).

I write this as someone who has been there and done that, not just theory. Whatever the outcome, I wish you well.