I suck at conversing?

Question

Okay, whenever I'm with people I can never get into the conversation. I'm always out there just listening cause I have nothing to really say or add to the conversation. And when I'm along with say, a girl I like, its not that I'm nervous, its just I suck at thinking of things to talk about. Which leaves us in awkward silence.

I'm more of a action person. Whenever I'm with my friends that are guys, we never really talk. We are always training and/or working out. Or we talk about girls and stuff, which I can't talk about with girls.

So, what are some good tips/ways for starting a conversation with a girl and actually keeping it going...

Answer 1

Ask her a lot of questions. Ask about her interests, her family, her career/future.

But, never ask her age, if she has kids, or if she has a man. That just sounds too pushy.But if your smart you can figure out these questions by asking other ones.

Answer 2

quit worrying about having something to say. relax. do not worry.  you will learn.

Answer 3

Haha. Yeah I feel you on that. I am bad at conversations often too. I'm shy, but when I get past that, even so, I really don't know what to say alot of the time. With people I'm really close to also Ive realised I really dont socialize well. I mean, I have things to say, but most of the time Im into saying funny/humorous things, and I'm pretty spontaneous with action to, like when Im at home I run around alot, jump around alot, I like to just move. I guess Im an action person, to an extent.

But why you probably don't have conversation is maybe because you don't know 1.) What other people have an interest in talking about with you 2.) Any background knowledge about alot of social topics... 1 being as in you probably don't realise that people like to talk about like ..for example your day, what has happened in your life, your experiences, what you know about life, as in common sense, just things, character traits, what you believe, etc, that describe you. 2 being maybe you know nothing about ..say if you go to school, you dont know anything about whats going on in social groups, drama or gossip even, or whats happening around school, or maybe not even school but just current events, wether locally or global ****, you know

I know it may sound boring, lol but thats what talk is! Haha, not boring, but talking about life in general. Even if you dont have things to talk about, dont try too hard. Don't just am to get rid of those akward silences, everyone has akward silences!

Work on those two things, broadening those two things, and I garuntee you'll have alot more to talk about.

You might just be someone too though who is a little more introverted, as in you dont get your feelings out to other people through words well, you are more to yourself, more private. Regardless, theres nothing wrong with that. Dont try to impress people, try to get along with people and socialize, but dont be someone your not if that all truly isnt you.

Good luck :)

Answer 4

You should ask her about what she likes, like hobby's, music,food... and then tell her your passions about what you like - sports, video games, etc. Explain what drives you, what inspires you.

When she talks ask additional questions to her story - that means you really listen and girls like that.

Also compliment her looks, hair, lips, eyes, clothes, hands, skin.

It is very important to regard yourself as an interesting person. Others will then think about you the same way.

Answer 5

The bare basics of conversing is similar to the process of writing a biography or a very detailed interview.

1. Ask questions that encompasses many facets of their life, e.g. their childhood, future aspirations, favorite music, what-would-you-do surveys or simply what they did today.

2. Listen, and listen well. Commit to memory the gist of what they are saying.

3. Ask a follow-up question using whatever you committed to memory. If she talks about her trip to the mall, ask/tease her about the days when she would strut through the malls with her eight other friends in elementary.

4. You could also take those bits that you took from listening to her and connect it with an anecdote of your own. Using the mall subject, you could talk about the great times you spent with your buds there, stealing candy, movie-hopping and whatnot.

It's possible to keep a conversation going for ages if you efficiently listen and ask great follow-up questions. Similar to a biography, you're aiming for thoroughness and detail.

People generally love talking about themselves. Just don't make it so apparent that you are "interviewing" her, e.g. asking the five Ws and How repeatedly.

Eventually, you could throw in jokes and little quips and maybe progress towards deeper, thought-provoking questions.

Have fun.