I think I'm depressed?

Question

Since I was born I've lived with my grandparents, I've never met my father, and my mother's been abused, a drunk, and she's a smoker, she also did drugs and drank while she was pregnant, I guess I'm lucky I'm fine otherwise.

Since I live with my grandparents, I never really got to do anything as a kid, I rarely get to go out now.

I also have a sister, she had to go to a psychologist I think; she got prescribed something, and it's made her a lot happier; she's now in college in Atlanta.

So, school was always awkward for me, when I was really young anytime I was actually creative or would just be myself I got made fun of, and yelled at, and now I'm really shy. I have trouble doing anything by myself because I always worry what people think of me.

So, I have a few friends, but I really like one of them; I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, but we've been friends for a very long time, and she doesn't want to be more than that, I've liked her for about a year now, but I've had a crush on her before, (3rd, 4th grade?).

I can laugh, and I do sometimes, but I haven't had a really good laugh in a while, like an honest one.

I've considered therapy or something like that, but I know if I do my grandparents are going to wonder why, and I'll probably have to end up telling them that I cut too; (oh yeah, I've done that for about a month now, and I have a used to, but I quit for a while.)

So, any advice?

I'm being honest, I'm not one of those trolls, and I need actual advice, not just your typical one line bullshit.

Not to sound like an a*****e, but I can't enjoy life, and I'd like that to change.

Any help is appreciated.

Answer 1

You probably suffer at least some mild to moderate depression, but from what you wrote, it doesn't seem extremely severe. However, you could benefit from some counseling, just someone to talk to. For some people with depression, just talking to someone could be the best therapy of all. However, by speaking to a professional, they may refer you to another professional, if there is a need for medication.

Hope my advice helped out a little. ^^

Answer 2

Even though in your current position, the last thing you want to be is  compared to someone else, but I'm in the same boat, recently been cutting/unsociable ect.

  You also seem very smart and rational, judging by your proper grammar-which is at least one thing you have on the rest of the population.

It's possible that this is just a phase and you don't need counseling, but I think it'd be a good idea just to go to one or two sessions, and get his or her analysis on whether or not you really do have a problem.  

As far as your grandparents go, depression can only get worse-they're most likely going to find out at some point, (they're not going to buy the "evil cat" story forever)

Nothing can be lost by going to see somebody, but a lot of good times and years definently could, by not. Give it a shot.

  My first appointment's in the next week.

I'll go if you go? : )

Just read other peoples comments:  Cutting isn't a good thing necessarily, but don't be ashamed or get too worked up about it. Just be a responsible cutter! :D  

But seriously, hopefully if you attend therapy it'll be a different way to release your stress.

  I'm not the greatest expert on the subject but, that's the way I see it.

Answer 3

You need help.  Cutting is a very serious behavior, and you would not even consider it if you were okay.  When you want to be more than friends with someone, it only works if you both feel the same way.  Honor your friendship and accept the limit given.  Keep that friendship, because it is a building block.  And - the next time you like someone, this will put you ahead.  Anyone except the most insecurely jealous would see your ability to be friends with a girl as an asset.

One thing you definitely need is to learn positive self-talk, to acknowledge and value the good things about you.  You are not dust in the wind, you are a human being like no one else - and you are not treating that child of god well.

Answer 4

get some help

Answer 5

Well you haven't done much in life, so now you feel alone. I know how you feel. I don't think you are depressed, you are simply someone who hasn't seen the outside world. I say go out there and enjoy life while you can. The cutting thing is probably where you think you're depressed and have the urge to cut. Do have therapy, it will help.