I think I've fallen out of love from my wife.?

Question

I've been married for 3 years and I've been with my wife for 6 years. We're both 30. I'm almost positive that I no longer love her. My goals have dramatically changed and these do not co-inside with her plans. I realize this is completely selfish and I feel horrible about the situation. I'm also worried that this is leading to depression on my end. Our s*x life is miserable and this is on my behalf as I am no longer attracted to her.

She wants children. I currently have no desire. I tried to communicate this to her. I feel she is telling me that she doesn't want kids anymore because she's afraid to lose me. I want to go back to school and may need to attend full time. She is willing to work this out. I'm not sure I want her to put in the effort. I've found our interests are completely different as well. We've inherited a house so to speak. I feel that I was forced into this inheritance and I'm not sure that I want the responsibility. I've tried many times to express my feeling on this and I'm not sure she understands.

I do know that I am miserable. I'm not sure if I'm hanging on to a security blanket. We don't have children and I wonder if this is the right time to separate. I wonder if she is in denial toward my feelings.

Answer 1

Now is the time to get out. Especially if you don't love her anymore and kids aren't involved.  That is too young (30) to be unhappy.   Maybe a separation would determine if you do or not love her.

Answer 2

**** happens, people fall in love and fall out of love. Some people think it's the right move when they fall in love with someone but there is that chance that it's not always going to be there. You know. There are so many people who they think they love but look at the world today. What ever you feel you need to let her know. Give her some respect be with someone that wants what you want don't let someone hold you back if she loves you she would want the same for you what you want. Remember that. Good luck.

Answer 3

Do you have your bags packed yet?? It seems like you are ready to roll out of this relationship. There is never a RIGHT TIME to seperate. If you feel this way then just follow through with it already. Delaying the process will only end up hurting her more. Also, since there is no kids involved I'm not saying it is "easier" but it is a lot less stressful worrying about the children and what you are going to do. Get it over with already.. but don't be an a*****e to her. If you can end this and still have a friendship that would be great.

Answer 4

You can only do what you feel is right. You can't stay with her just because she will get hurt if you leave. You need to respect her enough to lay it all out and move on.  Leading her along will only hurt her more in the long run. And if you stay in the relationship when you are no longer happy then it is not fair to you either.  Do what you feel is the right thing to do. That is all anybody can really do.

Answer 5

A marriage is not only a legal commitment, but it is a sacred commitment. You don't just get sick of her and give up. You made a pact with this woman and when you got married she became the most important person in your family, and you never give up on family, EVER. Treat your wife exactly how she deserves to be treated, like your wife; your companion through life, for better or for worse.... if you don't take marriage seriously enough to keep a sacred commitment, than you, sir should not have gotten married in the first place.

Answer 6

please leave now and end both your suffering.  don't hang on to something that is not there.  your are miserable.  go find yourself and be happy.  

Answer 7

Sounds like you know how you feel.  I would act on it now while you have no other restrictions.  If it doesnt feel right together it isnt right.  Honestly it does sound like a comfort issue.  You are comfortable but not happy.  You need to make yourself happy.  Live for yourself today.  You only live once.  You dont want to spend the rest of your life regretting.

Answer 8

Get out now!!!!

Answer 9

you don't just "fall out of love" like it's something you have no control over.  love's a choice.  love diminishes when you stop giving it.  if you've fallen out of love- then decide and choose to fall back into love.  start romancing your wife, start dating her.  marriage is not for now or for convenience. it's for forever- for better or for worse.  don't take your vows so lightly and don't give up so easily.  if you want a meaningful, lasting relationship- then you need to learn how to work through problems together.  are you in it for the long haul, or not?

Answer 10

By reading what you wrote, I definitely feel like you have already made your decision.  You have to let her know as soon as possible about what it is you want and that you are going to start a new chapter in your life and it unfortunately does not involve her.  You are not being selfish.  It will hurt her, yes, but it will hurt both of you more if you are not immediately honest with her and it seems like you need to be a little more blunt.  Do what comes naturally to you and things will work out in the end.

Answer 11

I think your last part is true, she is in denial about your feelings and doesn't want to loose you. I think because you do not have kids, it is a good time to let go and go your seperate ways. I know it is hard since you have been with her for a while but at this time I think it is best you do what you need to do for yourself because life is too short. I hate divorce and I hope it never happens to me, sometimes you fall out of love for people - life goes on and it is what it is. At least you are willing to talk with her about it and let her know what is on your heart. I think its time you sit down and have this discussion with her and really let her know what is going on, she is choosing to not want to hear it and it will only hurt the both of you more when you already know what is going to happen. Keep talking with her, you have definitely got respect from me on that. Good luck and take care of yourself!