I think I am in an emotionaly abusive relationship, I am pregnant and becoming depressed. what do I do?

Question

I am pregnant and have been on and off w the father of my baby for 3 years, he was physicaly abusive in the begining and I left him, for some reason I always went back. Now we live together and I believe that he is emotionaly abusive to me, I'm so sad and feel all alone...I don't want my baby to grow up w/o a father but I dont want the baby to look at our relationship and think thats what it is supposed to be. I am scared that him abusing me will interfere with my ability to be a good mother. I know I need to leave but it is so hard. Especially being pregnant, I don't want to be alone at this time in my life.

Answer 1

Just go. For your kid's sake. Because children with one or two parents who are emotionally abusive always end up unhappy. And he will probably start on your kid as soon as he can. Plus being abused will DEFINITELY affect you as a mother. If you close your eyes to this, you will close your eyes to how he treats your kid, how your kid is dealing with it, whether your kid is struggling in school or socially, ect.

I'm sure you have people who care about you who can help you at the moment.

Answer 2

Trust me when I say this, you will be so much happier by yourself than with someone who hurts you whether it's physically or emotionally.  You and your baby deserve better.  You don't want your baby growing up seeing you being abused and think it's okay to do to his wife when he grows up, or worse if you have a daughter do you want her thinking that it's okay for men to talk to her like that?

Answer 3

my dad is emotionally abusive to my mom. sometimes i wish she would just divorse him because she doesnt diserve that treatment. but then again, i cant even imagine not having a dad.

its a hard decision. sorry you have to go through this.....

Answer 4

Trust your instincts here, you know that this relationship isn't working for you, do you really think it will be better for your child? Not just another person for this man to come down on when he feels like it?

There are far worse things than growing up without a father, like watching your father destroy your mother. Like living with a father that is nothing but abusive. Like risking physical, emotional and possible sexual abuse from a man who already has shown he's not interested in controlling his own behavior (just yours).

There is help for mothers out there...go get it!! Don't ruin your and your child's lives by wasting it with this man. Figure out what you can't live without. If you can pack those things than do so, but don't let him see that you're leaving him, just go when you can, who knows what he might do to you.

Answer 5

Find a woman's shelter and just get out.  Don't pack a bag, just vanish.

There will be a lot of people who will be there to help you.  Abusive people isolate their victims, making them feel like they are not good enough to make it on their own.  The truth is that there is support out there for you and that with enough help, you can make it with a support group.

The best thing you can do for both of your children is to get them into a normal lifestyle, where all of you have a shot at getting it together and leading normal lives.  He has already made your life h**l, and has affected your three year old.  Those who were abused pass it on, and begin a new cycle of misery.  Time to go NOW.

Answer 6

Do you feel you deserve this abuse?  You will stay until you realize you are worth more than what he is giving you.  I've been in this situation.  I left the moment I said that I deserved better.  You won't be alone, you'll just be without him.  So...do you deserve this or not?  

Answer 7

You won't be alone the rest of your life - but even so, it's far better than remaining in the current situation - how far will you let it escalate - and what will you do when he starts abusing the child.

It will only worsen.  Distance yourself from him.

Answer 8

any man that will abuse the mother of his child is not a good father. it will be very hard on your child to grow up in that environment. the home will not feel safe or stable to the child and he will grow up sad and troubled. Your child (and you) deserves a happy home full of love and security. My suggestion to you is to go home to your family or go to a women's shelter. You need some emotional support at this time and a safe place to be.