I think I hate pregnant women..???

Question

Okay, so I really don't hate pregnant women. But, I am insanely jealous of them, and have on occasion, gave them the old stink-eye.....LOL.

My husband and I were planning on trying for another baby (our daughter is 21 months) earlier this year. But, since he got deployed, that has been pushed back. He *does* have a two-week leave in December, and if the times are right, we plan on trying then. If I don't conceive then, we will have to wait until he gets home sometime around April/May.

So, my problem is this...everyone around me is pregnant. And I mean everyone. My best friend is actually in the hospital right now in labor. And, out of all these pregnant ladies, perhaps 2 or 3 are actually happy about it. Everyone else's pregnancy was a mistake...and it infuriates me. I swear I'm turning into a green-eyes monster when it comes to baby bellies and newborns.

I know it will be my turn eventually, and then I can be one of those ridiculously annoying mommies-to-be (LOL) but until then, I just need some advice/encouragement. Pretty much anything you wanna say, whether it be "don't worry, soon it will be you" or the classic "get over it." Just advice....please?

Answer 1

I totally understand!!  It took us almost 4 years and 3 miscarriages to have our lovely 19 month old daughter.  We tried every fertitily treatment, and we were one month away from in-vitro and we found out we were pregnant.

We decided since it was soo hard to get pregnant the first time, we would start trying when she was 4 months old.  Well...here we are 15 months later, and no baby.

I am in a mom's group that started when are babies were all about 4 months old.  5 mommies out of 11 are pregnant, with 2 due this month!  Every time another mom says they are pregnant, I paste the big ole smile and "I am so happy for you" saying and secretly ask, "when is my turn??" and give them the *mental stink eye*

Oh, and don't worry, soon it will be you!  BLAH!  LOL

Answer 2

Been there, done that.  I had many many miscarriages and infertility problems.  We finally had our first child two months ago.  I spent 5.5 years HATING anyone pregnant or with a newborn.   Why do they get to be parents and not me?   We had been together 11 years and are in mid to late 30's, so I mostly sobbed seeing YOUNG pregnant women!  It is completely normal :)   Now that I have my daughter I am resolving that anger and directing it into loving my little miracle.   Try to do the same with your 21 month old, you will never get that time back.  Unless you are getting towards your less fertile late 30's- enjoy the time you have!!  It will happen for you.  

Answer 3

its expected that an individual who doesnt have what they want is envious of those who have it .. and dont appreciate it

so yes, it might be a little annoying to find urself hating on mommies or mommies to be ... but theres no need to let it upset u so much that u perhaphs end up hating them.

just think positive and actually think about how much MORE fun ull be having when YOU get ur baby ... and how it will be a total blessing.

and dont worry about the timing etc, because things happen for a reason. so if for some reason ur not meant to conceive right now, then theres a reason behind it ... just go with the flow and dont pressure urself or ur husband and enjoy ur life and expect and hope for good things in the future

gluck!

Answer 4

Sounds like you have a hard time being happy for other people. Why don't you just be thankful you are even able to conceive. Very rude and immature that you give pregnant women the "stink eye".  

Answer 5

Let me just say, ENJOY the time you have with your daughter.Even though more children would be good, you will NEVER have this time with your first born again.

Answer 6

your prayers will be answered !

if you want something bad enough.....it'll pay off !!!

Answer 7

Oh, hang in there sweetie!

It does seem like a lot of people get pregnant and didn't even want a baby, and that actually upsets me as well!  Truthfully, I think that things work out for the better sometimes.  Look at it this way, at least your body had some extra time to heal and maintain health, and when you get your chance, you will be exceptionally ready.  Waiting always makes it that much more special!

Answer 8

Well, just to make your eyes a little greener

I have a 7mo son, i have NO plans of another baby in at least 3 more years, IF i ever decide to have another child (i'm still undecided) and...

I think i am pregnant now!!!

I'm having the same symptoms as with my son, but i'm taking a hpt later.. Please cross your fingers for me I i do not want another child right now. I want to be devoted to my baby boy, husband & myself!!

I am breastfeeding & not using BC except for Pulling out.. Silly me.

If i am not, i'll get on the mini pill right away.

God Bless

EDIT-- Negative Pregnancy Test

THANK YOU GOD!!!

hehe

Answer 9

I might understand better if you didn't have a baby at all, but when my daughter was 20 months old, having another baby would have been beneath having all my teeth pulled out with rusty pliers on my "to do" list.

20 months is still very much a baby.  Just concentrate on the little one.  You will be able to have another baby eventually.

Answer 10

I would just try to focus on the good things you have- a good husband, a beautiful baby & that you all are healthy. Things happen for a reason. For example maybe it will happen for you at a time when your husband is home from deployment & can spend time with you while you're pregnant. I hadmy 1st baby in June (I'm 25) & had NEVER wanted kids. I was so scared of all the responsibility & the pain of labor. But now I love her more than anything in the world. I dont even care that I'm a single mom because it must have been meant to be. I'm sure if you dont put so much pressure on yourself it will happen when it's meant to happen.

Answer 11

When ever I feel saddened that there are no more babies in my womb, I think back to how I was in the last 3 months of pregnancy . . . veins popping out of my legs, peeing every 15 minutes, feeling like a whale no matter what I wore, acne all over my face, kung fu baby destroying my organs, back pains, groin pains, all with the impending anticipation of a painful labor (always was with me.) . . . . then I think "uhhh . . . I could wait another year."

Don't get me wrong, I love the end result!  I guess I'm just not a lover of the pregnancy.

If it makes you feel better, my daughters are 4 yrs apart, and the age gap is awesome.  She was in Pre-K when my second was born, which made life much easier.  Now that they are 3 and 7 they play together nicely, but my oldest still feels somewhat motherly from remembering her as a little baby.

I hope your husband comes back soon, I know that must be hard!

Answer 12

I don't have any advice, but I've been there.

I have wanted to try for another baby since Emma was six months or so....hubby said we need to wait.

I convinced him to try when she was seven months and I thought FOR SURE I was pregnant (I had the days counted and everything).  I took a pregnancy test and was a few days late NEGATIVE.

The next month we tried again and I was sure I was pregnant....one negative test and still no period...finally the test was positive (I guess I tested too early)

I can tell you I feel way worse with this pregnancy than I did with Emma.  Sick, headaches, tired, and I feel just so bloated and heavy.....it has not been nearly as much fun, LOL

Answer 13

For now- indulge in the fact that they are probably experiencing back pain, morning sickness, swelling, 20 or 30+ pounds, and are crabby 24/7.

haha.. no but just think about your beautiful daughter and that good old saying: good things come to those who wait.  :)

Good luck!

Answer 14

i know semi how you feel. my daughter is 10 mos and we have b een "trying" for number 2 for a few months but because im still breastfeeding aunt flo hasnt returned yet so there is really no use. all my pregnant friends anoy me especially those who were accidents!!!!

Answer 15

Oh hun you are not alone. My husband and I have a 3 year old and an 11.5 month old and I am so jealous when I see pregnant women or newborns as I want another little one already. I also want another one because my husband is in Iraq and left for iraq a month before she was born so he has missed everything. So I want another one just so we can share the time together with a new baby. Good luck

Answer 16

We want most what we can't have, certainly. I don't have children and don't plan to, but I think I understand what you're feeling, at least a little. Everyone feels jealousy at some point; it's not a bad thing for you to feel that. You want to have a child to look forward to, and you expect it'll happen sometime when your husband returns. But it's hard to wait when you want it now, and of course your husband is in a potentially dangerous deployment. I hope he returns safe and well to you.

I say frequently that when you've slammed your hand in the car door, all the people telling me that it won't hurt tomorrow does nothing to change the fact that IT HURTS NOW, DAMMIT! And so it does for you now; it's hard to be patient.

I won't tell you not to feel what you're feeling; that is not my place. But I hope that venting here helped you a little. You are not required to "get over it"!

Answer 17

though you want another child, care for your 21 month old child unitl the time comes when you can try to concieve. your child needs your support and love, not to see you being jealous of women who are carrying a child. Good luck