I think I may have a problem, could somebody spare me some wise words?

Question

I love my family & friends, but I notice that I kinda hold back some of my love. It's not grudge, but the fact that I will one day lose them & be in pain. Thus, I tend to keep my distance (a little) by being alone. Is this wrong? Am I being flat out selfish?

Answer 1

I wouldn't say it's selfish.  It's more protective. That said, you generally get what you give and so unfortunately you are not receiving all the love that you may want.  

Answer 2

Better to have lost and loved than to have never loved at all.

It is very painful to lose someone you love. I lost someone very close to me 3 years ago, but I would never have given up the relationship I had then just because it hurts now. Instead I think about how empty my life would have been without that love in the first place.

We're all gonna go one day and there's nothing you can do about it. Do you want your life to be empty and miserable forever. Learn to let go. Don't be afraid.

Answer 3

So on the day you die as a very old person you want to look around your family members and say "I could have loved you more but I wanted to be tough"?

Learning how to cope with the tragedy of life allows you to enjoy the good things of life. Pain is part of being human, the only promise we get is to die. If you want to waste your small time on earth holding your love back, then you will need to understand what the consequences of that behavior is. In the end, you will still die, your friends and family will still die. But instead of everyone knowing exactly where you stand in your feelings for them, you will be remembered as a cold and closed off individual. Is that who you actually are?  

Answer 4

Not so strange to me.  I keep a part of myself to to myself so that I have something to hold onto in difficult times.  If that makes sense to you.  But, yeah, I know what you mean.

Answer 5

Just say "i love you" once in a while that is all it takes