I think I need a teen therapist or counselor.?

Question

I'm almost 12 and I think I need a therapist or a counselor. To start My dad's girlfriend moved in our house with her 3 kids. That really hurt me because I'm still not over my parents divorce. I want them to sit and work things out. Secondly I already have a brother and a sister so there is 6 kids total in my house. I did happen to get my own room in the move though. Third My mom has decided she wants to be part of my life after 2 years of only seeing me twice. Plus I feel really unwanted by my dad. He seems so caught in her kids and there bad behaviors. Then to wrap it all up I have really low self-esteem. I dont believing getting help, but I have people who love me and believen me and I dont want them to see me like this. Plus I really want to see a future for myself. Thanks and if you do think I need a teen counselor or therapist could you please suggest some near the middletown,Pa

area.

Answer 1

wow that is alot to take in at your age but .. I will say I give huge respect to you that you can realize all that is going on and see that you need a little understanding and help in how or what to do in this given situation. I would say divorce is a huge change to deal with, not just as a kid but as an adult too. I am sure when you grow older you can understand the issues at hand with why your parents divorced but I think the main thing to focus on is communication. If you don't communicate your feelings or frustrations to either of your parents it will make things harder, and probably more harder on you. Be open tell them what the deal is and what you want. Explain to your dad how adding new members to the family is effecting you. Do you have any close relatives like and aunt or uncle you can confide in?Maybe doing that is one way to start communicating. Good luck. stay strong.

Answer 2

not that i don't believe your problem but 2 months ago you were 13 and now you're almost 12? which one was a lie?

just be happy that both of your parents are alive for you to be with and be happy your dad has found someone who makes him happy. both of my parents were dead by the time i was 14.

try to get along with the new kids and remember that with 6 kids all of his time can't be devoted to you alone. being a grown up with kids takes alot out of a person and i only have 2 and it's difficult to divide my time between them and work.

step back and look at the whole picture and mention to your dad that you would like to spend some time with him more often and see what the two of you can come up with.  

Answer 3

ask ur mom if u can stay w/ her and that u wont give her much troube. that u dont lik eur new siblings. u will just sleep and eat in her house she doesn't to do much.ur dad is just trying make the others new kids feel at home. ur mom might be a great help. tell her

Answer 4

I had a bunch of problems with family and life at a younger age. I know how u feel wether u believe me or not. the best thing i can suggest is finding something to hold onto. something reliable like a sport where u have a basic scheduale and can make some permanent friends. Just something to reach to, or someone to tell everything. Its really the worst when theres no one there.

Answer 5

You sound quite mature for almost 12.

A good therapist or counselor could be a big help with what you are going through - you still have to do the emotional work, but they can help guide your process.

You might want to check in with your school counselor and see if they can recommend some one.

You also might try asking your dad to help find someone for you to see. Make sure you have a good connection with the therapist / counselor. If you don't feel safe with them or don't trust them, try someone new.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I am 66 and seen a lot by this age.  I do believe a therapist or good counselor would be right for you.  Pray for the right one bc the devil likes to mess things up.  My daughter lives in PA but I'm in CA.  I will send you a prayer:

Dear Lord,

We bless your holy name.  I ask that this special girl will get the right counselor or therapist to talk to.  Guide her and help her with this.  Let your love surround her and bless her.  Bring her close to Jesus too.  I ask in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Answer 7

Two little facts of life first.

1) In some ways a dad is like a mechanic. They don't spend a lot of time on cars that run just fine. His girlfriends' children, from your brief description, are like cars that are making grinding noises and belching smoke. Just because he doesn't spend a lot of time with you doesn't mean he doesn't want you, or doesn't love you.

2) He's going to want to impress his girlfriend, for two reasons.

2a), so she stays and he can have companionship and s*x. If you are a girl or haven't gone through puberty yet, you cannot imagine how important s*x is to men. It makes them do really, really stupid things; look at Bill Clinton or, more recently, John Edwards.

2b), to prove he's better than the father of those kids. She left the father(s) of her children for some reason. If he can convince her kids to study hard, help around the house, respect their mother, stop robbing gas stations, etc., he will be a hero in her eyes and his.

Lesson over. You DO need a counselor. Ask your teacher, minister or coach if they know one. Your teacher would be the best bet; schools deal with the problem of mixed, blended and broken families all the time.

By the way, it would be really, really stupid of you to start acting up to get his attention.

Secondly, all the fake trophies and assurances from friends, family, teachers or day camp counselors that you are rare and special isn't going to change your self-esteem. You need to find something you do well, and that you like, and do more of it. Self esteem comes from within. It can't be given.

My cousin finally convinced his mother, my idiot aunt, to throw out all the "I played too" trophies his soccer team gave to everyone who played, even though they finished 4th through 8th, usually 8th, out of 8 teams. He played soccer from age 10 to age 14. He was never very good, but he liked the exercise. She thought they meant something. He knew they didn't.

Write via my profile if you'd like to talk.

Answer 8

Yes, a counselor or therapist would be very helpful for you.  Therapy isn't for people who are sick or broken or weak or crazy - it's for normal people who just need a little specialized support through a rough time.  It's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to let the people who love you see you hurting - they can't help you or console you if they don't know what's wrong.  They can't read your mind or guess from your behavior - you have to tell them specificially what you want and need.

Show this post to your dad and tell him you want to start therapy right away so you can deal with issues from the divorce and other changes at home.  12 is a very tricky time for most girls, so get the guidance you need.

Answer 9

First talk with your parents. Tell them how you feel. If you can't do that, then talk with a school guidance counselor. They are qualified to help you. At the very least, if there is a teacher or an adult in your family who you trust and respect, talk to them. You sound like you're very bright, and I'm sure you'll figure this out with the help of an adult. (Remember, all adults were once 12 years old so can give you the benefit of experience!)

Answer 10

Honey i am not in Pa., but I think you need to sit down with your dad and tell him how you feel. ALSO sit down with Mom!! Tell her how hurt you are by her not being around for 2 years. Your mother is probably very very hurt also, so you two can start becoming closer. Your father is just not realizing your pain. SO TALK TO HIM

best of luck

Answer 11

yea...sorry for the unfourtunate events in you life but talking to someone is the only way to feel better. someone you can trust of course. you best friend, you siblings, a family friend, nabor, teddybear ect. but for me...i just og with the flow. music, god, and my best friend that gives the best advice is my escape for the world and its problems.

=]

i hope i help and if u ever need to talk->

[e-mail]

[im 16]

=] lol

Answer 12

I can relate to everything you are feeling, yes counselor and therapy would be a good thing for you actually, best for you to speak out your feelings.  Most counselors will want your parents involved. So if you belong to a church or there is one near by, speak to their secretary about counselling. I received great grief counsel ling from my church, no charge at all.  A couple more the YMCA normally has counseling and the boys and girls club. You can call or look them up on the websites, even if it doesn't say counsel ling ask anyhow. I pray that you will find peace, it's very difficult living and feeling invisible. I've been there, I pray you won't have to live with this for much longer. Also, call your school even though it's summer and ask if they can refer you to a free counselor. Good luck, blessings and prayers for you.  

Answer 13

Here's a web site that lists counselors: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rm...

  In addition,  here's a site in Pennsylvania that will accept email inquiries:

http://www.childrenshomepgh.org/contact....