I think he is being stingy...what do you think?

Question

My husband and I share ALL the household chores, including yard work. Our house is always immaculate. We both contribute to the monthly expenses as well. He insists that we should also split the expenses 50/50. Here’s the dilemma…he makes 10k+ per month and works 10-13 days per month. I make 3k per month and work a normal 40hr work week (20 days per month). I think it is fair for him to pay 75% while I pay 25% because of the difference in income. This would still leave him THOUSANDS of dollars each month for all the stuff he likes to do and purchases he makes. He has lots of ‘toys’ (quads, toy trailer, cars, Seadoo, etc). I never complain about anything he does or buys because I know we can afford it. We have a substantial amount in savings and investments so we are not hurting for money. He even has a separate account without my name on it and I do not complain. In fact, I’ve seen the statements for this account and he’s got about $25 stashed, aside from our joint savings! If I pay half of the expenses, I would not be able to do anything else. Am I crazy or is he being stingy?

Answer 1

He Is Being Stingy.. He Makes The Higher Salary So He Should Pay More Of The Expenses..That Is Perfectly Fair.. In My Opinion  

Answer 2

Yes he is being stingy.....Doesn't sound like you have a marriage...He sounds more like a business partner who is looking out for number 1.....

Answer 3

Money is the root of many squabbles. 50/50 is a little tight on your part.Maybe it is more of a control or power issue? You can't afford anything without his OK.

Answer 4

You're not crazy: everything shouldn't be split 50-50 necessarily. If one spouse makes significantly more money than the other, that person should contribute more. It should be proportional to the income.

Answer 5

If he were a "real" man he wouldn't insist on taking any of your money.  Good men that love their partners are more than happy taking care of them, especially if they make so much more money than the partner.  

Answer 6

Capitalism vs. Socialism.  Capitalism says to split the bills 50/50 regardless of income.  Socialism says to split it according to proportional income.  Either system is 'fair' depending on your personal point of view.

I too want to make 10k per month, what do I need to do?

Answer 7

You two are in a partnership.   You two are also grownups.  You should be able to get some kind of compromise.    While I do not think 50/50 is fair neither to I think 75/25 is fair.  Why should either of you be punished for your salaries.     You are not crazy, he is not stingy, you two need a compromise.  Are yo willing to pick up more of the household work at the % you want him to pay.

Answer 8

Sounds like a prick to me. If he loves you why would he care? My wife and I have flip flopped constantly over who earns more money, it doesn't matter to us. When we get a good paycheck or bonus the first thing we do is buy something for the other person.

What does he do to earn $10k a month in 10-13 days? That is a sweet gig, whatever it is.  

Answer 9

I would say he is being stingy. My boyfriend makes about $150K a year and well, I am make just over $30K if I am lucky and that includes overtime so I pay 25% of the rent for the house while he pays 75%. We split the other bills like water, trash, and comcast 50/50 because I feel it is fair. I think you should be able to revise your budget because he obviously makes much more than you right now and if you do not have much left over and he has thousands than there should be no issue with you paying 25%. He needs to understand how selfless you are and what a great wife you are because most women and men fight all the time with money and woman don't pull their weight around the house. He is lucky! Sit down and talk with him and let him know how you feel, I am sure he will listen and I would assume he would be understanding. Take care!

Answer 10

I think he's right.You should split the household bills 50/50 , it's not his fault he makes more then you. Maybe you should find another job where you can earn more money and save more money. If you both have separate accounts and have joint accounts for bills , you should not be leaning on his income as your own. Good luck:)

Answer 11

He is being stingy.  Me and my husband had this same problem when we first got married.  It took a few months before he soon realized how broke I was.  Now he pays for 80% of the bills and i pay for the groceries.  We have a joint account and we both have separate accounts too.  Try to get him to work with you, I don't really think it's fair you aren't able to enjoy the money you earn like he is.

Answer 12

Money problems are one of the chief arguments couples have. So this problem needs to be settled. The separation of finances bespeaks a lack of committment, as well as stinginess, on his part. What will you do when you have kids? If you stay home with them, does that mean you'll have NO disposable income? What do you do for things like vacation?

Answer 13

I felt like listening to little kids whine "It's not faaaaaair" when I read your question. How can you have time for a happy marriage when you're so concerned with whether or not everything is split perfectly even down to the cent?

I think you're both crazy for dividing your money up like this in the first place. With most people, marriage turns it to "ours" not "his" and "hers."

Answer 14

you are the one being stingy!! way to stingy!

dang, step it up!

Answer 15

I think he is being unfair to you with the substantail difference in your incomes tell him to be a real man and take care of his wife \