I think i am too hard of a thinker for a girlfriend. help?

Question

i think very deeply into things way too much, and talking is limited, except with my family and my 5 close friends, and 2 girl/friends. i can open up in public if im with a group, usually at night and its loud somewhere.

i know i have potential with my looks but when i get 1 on 1 with a girl it usually is disaster and i lose my sense of humor, unless she is smart enough to verbally pick me up from the awkwardness, u know what i mean?

how can i become more open 1 on 1 with a girl?..besides getting buzzed before i go out..i dont want to get into that routine

Answer 1

your a thinker. you need to find an artsy girl to talk about philosophical stuff

Answer 2

Try to relax a little bit.  It sounds to me like you are insecure about yourself in that area.  That is normal, everyone goes through it at some point.  This is an anxiety in a form, but not one that in my studies would probably be clinically diagnosed.  

Try this:  before you go out on a date or spend some 1 on 1 time with a girl you are interested in, imagine the worst possible scenario in your mind.  The ABSOLUTE WORST that could happen.  While you are imagining it, ask yourself some questions:  in reality, what is the probability of this happening?  What can I do after this happens to "recover" or smooth things over?  Develop a plan of how you would deal with it.  Take a minute to yourself before the date and take some deep breaths.  And remember, you don't have to be anyone but who you are.

Answer 3

In the end decent women do like someone who is solid and deep, That means the male is a hard rock who will stay there. However, they also want a man who will make them FEEL something.I still believe that intelligence and the pursuit of a higher mind can make the human race richer, more peaceful and transcendent. But humans are humans because they are individually diverse animals. That means people are attracted to each other at gut levels regardless of history. Women like men who can get the job done. They do love smart guys like you, however, you have to show, don't tell. If you think a chick is cute, many other guys have come up to her and told her in one way or another. As Batman/Bruce Wayne said "It's not what I am on the inside, It's what I do that defines me ".  BTW, humor is a great way to show a woman that you are smart and serious at the same time. Why? All jokes have to do with someone on short end of the stick, which means you understand the inherent unfair nature of life.Plus, it was just a joke, you also said to her in chick code "That sucks. But Most importantly, with good joking, it says "I'm fun, but I'm smart,therefore better than the average bear"  

Answer 4

just don't think so much, try to relax [theres lots of techniques]

don;t put the p***y on a pedistool and you should be fine.

Answer 5

Perhaps it's the type of girls your with?

Some can make you uncomfortable.

Even for a girl talking to a random girl.

The way they talk or look.. is what I mean..

You probably feel akward.

I understand how guys feel akward on first dates.

So I'm the kind type that would be.. not judge-metal?

Relaxed...or calm..also someone who understands,

Is the type of girl you need to look for.

When right one comes you'll end up being yourself :D

Look at it this way,

Half of them aren't worth your time.

Answer 6

Well you just need a girl that is more like yourself.  There are lots of smart girls out there.  We are not all dumb and giggly.  Just try to find girls that share the same interests as you.  Just relax and if you are nice and sweet then you don't have to be funny, just don't be intellectually s****. and don't make her feel dumb.  Not all girls like to carry the conversation all night either so look up some emergency topics and hopefully it will flow from there.  There is nothing worse than awkward silence.

Answer 7

First of all, it's absolutely excellent that you recognize using alcohol as a crutch is not a good idea. Definitely avoid getting into that trap - fixing this without self-medicating is the best solution.

Second of all, you just sound like a smart person that needs a little help being more comfortable around new people! You probably have a touch of anxiety, and that's completely normal - and it's very good that you want to improve. The number one way for you to get better about this is to practice, of course, but there are also ways you can prepare for that practicing. Try to identify what it is that makes you nervous, and work on replacing those thoughts with positive ones.

For example, if you're worried that she's not going to give you a chance because you are acting awkward, remind yourself that it's her loss if she does that. If she's a really nice person that deserves you, she'll stick around long enough to get to know the real you. If you work at thinking this way, eventually you'll be able to be relaxed and 'the comfortable you' from the very beginning. You can practice your conversational skills with female friends or even strangers that you're not interested in dating, just to get used to it.

Also, if you think you may have an anxiety disorder, consider treatment for that - you can take an online screening test at the link below. Medication is not always necessary, but talking with a qualified therapist would help you immensely if your anxiety is bad enough to interfere with things you'd like to do 'normally.'

Answer 8

i think if u get to know the girl more and b around her a lot u will start becoming more open about things

~i had this same problem..but after a while u wont even think about it~

Answer 9

when you find the right one you'll know.  you won't need to drink to be around her