ok well, ive taken some of those online like "screening" for depression things, and all of them tell me to seek help. and ive noticed that ive been feeling this way since 5th grade,(im a sophomore this year) and in 4th grade i was really smart in school and 5th grade is when my report card got completly loaded with C's and that is when i started to have a different outlook on life, and since then i have thoughts of suicide normally at least a couple times a day and i can never believe that i have friends, even though i know i do, and i can never believe that anyone likes me, i told my friend last week and she said that she never expected me to be a depressed person so im guessing ive done a good job at hiding it, so i want to know what i can do besides see shrinks and tell my parents (i dont want to tell them) about it, like should i talk with friends and stuff, or just keep it bottled up and plus i know imnever going to have the balls to off myself but i cant get rid of the thoughts
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