I think m daughter?

Question

my 14 year old daughter told her older sister that she had s*x with the boy my husband and i told her she couldn't go out with. he isn't a bad kid we just don't think she is ready for a relationship. but she had s*x with him. our oldest daughter told us what she told her and we haven't confronted our 14 y/o yet. how should we handle this? how should we punish her? she's 14 and having s*x what can we do?

Answer 1

take her to your OBGYN for a pap.  Get her on birth control.  The pap might scare her, the birth control will save her from getting pregnant.  I recomend the shot, cause she may not take the pills.  Just talk to her and tell her you love her.  A visit to the local Division of Family and Children Services office might do the trick too.  She may want to see other teen mothers strugling to get food stamps and WIC for their babies.  Dont just tell her the consequences, show her.  A good trip to the DFS office could be the eye opener.

Answer 2

You can punish her all you want but that won't stop her from going out and having s*x...in fact it may fuel the fire...I would sit down with her and have a serious talk about the birds and the bees and don't leave anything out...This is no time to be shy about it! After all you don't want to be a grandmother yet... Next step I would take her to the doctor to get an exam and get her on birth control ASAP....it's better then the alternative....dirty diapers and a crying baby!

Answer 3

one of my best frenns. is 13 and having sexx.

my 14 year old best frenn.

almost got pregnant.

i would let her go to school.

let her come home.

send her to her room.

no phone.

no television.

no computer.

and must stay in the house.

not allowed going to frenns house. \

even for a few hours.

tell her she must earn her trust back slowly.

she is grounded for as long as you choose...

approach her as..

"honey, i don't want you having sexx at this age.

so don't.

if i ever find out you do...

and you tell someone else first and i find out from you after somebody else like your sister, your best frenn, etc.

you'll be in trouble.

so tell have you ever had sexx?"

when she says what she will.

"no"she says?

use the punishments i had suggested.after you told her you found out from her older sister.

"yes"

you say"i already knew but thank you for telling me.""your grounded"

use the rest of the punishments.

thank you for asking,,

lexii.

Answer 4

I don't think that punishing her is a good idea. there's not much you can do if she's already done it. she'll rebel if you punish her. I think that being open with her and talking to her about relationship and contro would be better. How would you feel if she got pregnant and didn't tell you because she was to scared?

Answer 5

Don't punish her for that, you'll give her the wrong message. What you need to do is educate her about s*x and how to be safe. Education is what prevents problems, NOT punishment/sweeping the problem under the rug.

Teenagers have s*x. They always have and they always will. There is not much anyone can do about it except for educating their children and giving useful advice.

Answer 6

Okay you can't yell at her other wise she wont tell any of you guys anything ever again and i don't think you want that to happen sit her down and talk to her about it ask her if she used protection and if she is on the pill and tell her about all of the daises that are out epically the ones that can happen even with a condom but tell that your not trying to scare into never having s*x again but tell her that if she wants to have s*x than you think she should know what she may or may not catch out there not to mention pregnancy and then tell her that she is not in trouble for having s*x but for going behind your backs and seeing the guy you told her not to see and ground her for two weeks and make her prove to you that she is responsible enough to have a boyfriend and no s*x until she is at least 18 and moved out okay but remember you can't freak out other wise she will keep it to herself the next time something like this happens and who knows maybe next time it will be worse..

Answer 7

its not right  but its also not uncommon nowdays....

i think you should tell her that you know..but dont say her sister told you...try to find another excuse..

dont punish her.... but explain to her how disapointed you are in her..and try to scare her (its not a bad thing to do)...tell her about STDS, and preganncy.... etc etc...if she feels it isnt such a great thing she probably wont do it.

Answer 8

Definitely confront her. You can't pretend you don't know.

She needs GOOD reasons to not have s*x. What I have found most effective is this: she has to realize that boys this age love girls the way they love pizza and video games. It's fine for now, but when something better comes along, they drop whatever they have in their hands and move on. Meanwhile, girls form true emotional connections. So the relationship is uneven and that makes it safe.

Your husband needs to step up here. He needs to show your daughter what being a man is all about, and that's (a) self control and (b) protecting your woman when she needs it. He needs to be protecting his daughters. So get her to bring that boy to the house and let your husband talk to him man to man. He should ask the boy, "Do you intend to marry my daughter? Do you intend to support her through a pregnancy? Do you intend to be a dad to the child you might father through my daughter?" He'll get a lot of "I dunnos..." more than likely. Then he needs to get in the kid's face and say "If you're not man enough to  do that, you're not man enough to have s*x with my daughter. If I catch you, you're going to be in sorry shape. Keep your hands OFF my girl or else."

Punishment -- ground her.

Education - sign yourself and this daughter (oldest too, if you want to) to be volunteer housecleaners for  a home for pregnant girls or new mothers or a woman's shelter. Ever Saturday morning, head over there and scrub the place down. Let your daughter see what these women are going through by being careless with their choice of a sexual partner, and then talk about it. A lot. If that doesn't sound good to you, then call an adoption agency and sign up to be a family that takes the newborn for a few days between birth and adoption. You get the idea. Show her the effects of her choice to enable her to make better choices.