I think my 12 year old daughter is already having sexual feelings, is that normal?

Question

My daughter is 12 years old. I think that she is already having sexual feelings. I think she already is because I was looking through her cell phone. I was looking at her text messages and pictures. Some of the pictures. Was of her in a bikin. And here where I live theres snow on the ground. And some of her text messages we saying "Bang Me" and also she was sending the swimsuit pictures to boys on her cell phone. I was talking to her about it and she was saying its nothing wrong all the girls are like that at school. Also I know that she has a boyfriend. I know that a lot of children around that age of boyfriends and girlfriends. But my daughter also said something in the other room talking to one of her friends talking about sexual feelings. So i want to know if its normal for my daughter to be having these kinds of feelings this young. If so please help me in a way to talk to her I just don't want her to make a mistake. Please and Thank You.

Answer 1

I am 12 years old and a guy and am not a virgin, itried to have s*x when i was about 6 but i guess didnt know how recently i have had s*x succesfuly gigidy gigidy goo!! it was awesome!! :)

Answer 2

well im 12 yrs old and me and my freinds joke bout it even girls do i mean it's not like when you were a kid back in the old days no offence but yeah it's normal

Answer 3

Puberty for some girls can start as early as 12. It is at this age that they begin to notice the changes in their body as well as some emotional/sexual arousal. Unfortunately, they tend to listen to their peers and think it is quite normal to engage in sexual behaviors. You should have talked to her far sooner than this. It could have prevented her from listening to her peers over the wise. You should definitely speak to her now.Let her know that you are aware that she is showing signs of being sexually active although you do not know if she has engaged in these activities and that the best thing to do at this point is to get her in to a doctor and start her on birth control. Secondly you need to talk to the doctor and let them know of your concerns. Have the doc. speak to her of her responsibilities of being sexually active and the spreading of diseases.I think you should also teach her to have respect for herself and teach her that boys will coax her in having s*x with out caring how she will react. Use scenarios to drive the point.

Answer 4

if she has started her period, then she most likely is a little. usually girls at that age say things and do things just to get a boys attention though. i would get her on birthcontrol, let her know it doesnt mean she can have s*x, but incase it happens. and of course give her the s*x talk. shes old enough to know about s*x, friends, t.v. and society has taught her plenty by now. i lost my virginity at 12, i didnt really understand it, nor was i wanting it, but it does happen, boys that age definetly are having those feelings. just make sure you dont get mad at her, you want her to be open about things with u, be as understanding as possible. but again, get her on birth control, cause kids that age will have s*x and not be smart about.

Answer 5

Oh don't worry about it, it's just harmless fun.

Don't give me a thumbs down but im a 13 year old boy and heres a few first-hand views.

Guys and girls in my age can discuss s*x and laugh about it, just like adults. No we won't have s*x with your daughters because that would be stupid and we all know the consequences of having s*x at a young age. A couple of my friends (boys and girls) send s*x jokes to each other and etc.

Theres nothing wrong with discussing s*x at my age, it's not like were breaking any laws. It's just harmless fun.

Don't you remember when you were a kid? Also all relationships probably aren't serious.

Right and to the person above me, unless she starts sending naked pictures you can talk to her. But 11-14 is "the time" I guess. People on MySpace are uploading pictures of themselves at the beach in bikinis, wearing make-up etc.

Also I heard that girls think about s*x as much as guys, but guys just express it more loudly. Just a small fact.

Answer 6

1st - no offence but u shouldnt b readin her txts she needs her privacy!

2nd- yp im 15 and i did like to tease my mum a bit about it

so id say yes id say its pretty normal !

Answer 7

Its normal to have sexual feelings at that age. It is however not age appropriate for her to send pics like that to boys or to say bang me. My 13 year old cousin just lost her virginity. She did things like that as well.

Answer 8

I think it is not normal at all.....

Answer 9

nope, sometimes it can start earlier.

Answer 10

I agree with all of the people above. get her on birth control and talk to her.

Answer 11

thoughts and feelings occur and it's NORMAL for your child.  So you have to deal with what is.....and I know it's hard to talk about that kind of stuff, but you have to discuss it with your daughter.  Don't be accusatory, but talk about what is appropriate behavior, talk about what is bad behavior or bad decision making.  Sending out a text message saying "bang me" I'm sorry, is simply not appropriate for a 12 year old girl.  Joke or no joke, she is sending out the wrong message.  Ask her what she meant by it.  A lot of girls seek male attention and will take it in any form it comes in, even if it's meaningless sexual attention from boys who don't value her for anything else....when what she really wants is love and to be important....some other teen boy said all kids know not to engage in s*x because you catch disease and/or get pregnant.  HELLO?  how do you know what other teens know, most teens run around with the atttitude that 'IT' won't happen to them and turn a blind eye to the consequences and then wonder "why me?"

Good Luck.

Answer 12

Its perfectly fine.  I'm 13 and a girl and we talk about s*x in class and  call boys because its fun.  But don't worry because we are not having s*x.  

But one thing I disagree with is her having a boyfriend.=  )

Answer 13

O god take the cell phone away

Answer 14

Whether that is normal does not matter—it is apparently how she is. However, it is very normal for children of that age to have sexual feelings.

However, just because having those feelings is normal, that does not mean acting upon them is appropriate. You should talk to her about what is acceptable and what is not. Don't let her tell you what is fine and what is wrong: you are the parent. Let her know that it isn't okay to tell her friends to have s*x with her or to distribute revealing pictures.

It is fine and normal that she has such feelings. However, that does not mean her actions are not to be concerned about. The smart solution to her apparently-increasing libido is not to invite friends to `bang' her. The smart solution to her seeing herself as beautiful or s**y is not to devalue her body by distributing pictures of her almost naked.

Answer 15

I agree with what wtplove said too, but if it gets any further, stop it!

Answer 16

Twelve is about the right age. I would make sure she knows about s*x and what happens when you have it (ie stds and pregnancy). Also let her know that jokes can sometimes be misinterpreted and she wouldn't want to get caught in a bad situation where a boy thought she really meant "bang me". When I was her age, to be honest, no one really told me what was going on with my body and I resorted to finding p**n... and really, that's not the way you want your kid to find out about s*x. Talk to her like she's an adult. 12 year olds are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. She may not be old enough to have s*x but her body is telling her she is, and she needs to be well informed in order to make the right decision and not start messing around with people sexually.

Answer 17

if she had her period then her hormones are telling her to do this. it's pretty normal but if you are concerned about it then talk to her about the difference between p*****n fun and something not fun. if you believe you can trust her then let her have fun. she does this because she feels adult and mature when she does it. she feels like she's not a little girl anymore and that she should act like that. if you think she will go too far then talk to her. it's perfectly normal but make sure you and her are on the same page before you let her have too much freedom: meet her boyfriend, ask her about her texting, make sure she understands what you need her to understand before you can trust her.

Answer 18

Yes you definetely will be a grandmother in less than 3 years.  Congratulations!

Answer 19

I would talk to her and if you are lost for words, I would get a book about talking to children about s*x.

I think she may be trying to fit in and do what the kids are doing these days or it can be peer pressure....

Tell her you do not approve and lay down the dos and don't  at your house.... come up w/ ideas that are ok for the both of you.

Good luck...

Answer 20

It's fine and normal. The best thing you can do is step out of it.

Answer 21

If my 14 year old had BANG ME on her cell phone. I would take the cell phone away. No it is not normal to have that on her phone. She needs more supervision. It is normal for her to have sexual feelings.

Answer 22

Of course it is normal, not that she should be sexually active. You need to sit down with her and have a long talk and don't think that she is too young, explain pregnancy risk, STD and AIDS. There was a great movie on on Lifetime "Girl Positive" great for middle schoolers to learn about AIDS. Hope she hasn't done anything stupid yet! Kids grow up way to early and fast now. Good Luck!

Answer 23

im a guy (no not that type of super perverted guy though) but at my school, which is very free to do w/e and rich and stuff, that sounds kinda dirty. especially "bang me" i think u know what that means (basically the f word) im in 8th grade. its totally possible. but if all the girls in that school are doing that, thats very sluttty, no offence. i mean, yeah, my school there is s*x and stuff. ive known about everything since 3rd grade (i had alot of friends lol) just keep a close eye on her, cause u dont want her going out and... u know.

that wasnt kidding or going over the edge, im serious.

oh yeah, thats just how it starts, talking bout it, but then...

already 6 people (13 yr olds) have lost their virginity, one in a mall. that one freaked me out when i saw that.

Answer 24

no not really but i,m 13 can u ask if she will go out with me.

Answer 25

Why does a 12 year old child have a cell phone?

Answer 26

I think its quite early, it is way to early.

As for the boys track them down then beat the c**p out of them.

and speak to her tell her shes too young and she should not even be thinking of "banging" yet.

Answer 27

I agree with what wtplove said, and it's perfectly normal, twelve is about the right age for it to start happening.

Although I do know a lot of people who've had them at younger ages.

I'm sixteen by the way.