I think my aunts husband is cheating on her?

Question

i really think that my auntie's husband is cheating her. ok they have 2 kids and she is pregnant with the 3rd. i have 5 reasons why i think that

1. he comes home really late everyday and his shift is over at 3

2. when i came home early from work one day their was a mysterious women in his room laughing with the door locked

3.he is becoming very controlling

4. he ignores the kids

5.HE CONSTANTLY TELLS MY AUNT HE NEEDS A BREAK FROM HER OR HE NEED "ME"TIME

Before i break the news to her tomorrow i need to know if he is cheating. My aunt is to busy worrying about the kids and herself to even notice what he's doing.

this is how i am going to say it:

"uncle Jonathan is sleeping with someone else" is that a mean way to say it? how should i tell her if he is

i refuse to stay out of it because my aunt is a good person and deserves better

Answer 1

Here is the thing from an adult's perspective.

1. she probably already knows

2. you shouldn't tell her or upset her while she is pregnant.She shouldn't have more stress. She might even be waiting until the 3rd child comes along and then she might kick him to the curb or leave herself.

The thing is, I bet she knows. We tend to know what our husbands are up to, mostly if he has said what you said he has to her.

I would offer her help and see if she wants to talk about anything but not "tell her". She might actually confide in you...

Answer 2

Why dont you leave it up to her husband to tell her.  I would tell him the stated, as you put it in #1-#5, look at his reaction and hear his side, and advise him that you have gotten put in a very uncomfortable sistuation and it's your obligation to tell your aunt about his before, but you would prefer it come from him first.

One thing that does strick me odd though is when you said that your aunt was to busy with the children to even notice what he was doing.  How can that be?  Even if we turn a cold shoulder it would make her an unrealistic person to be able to ignore some signs, after all this is her husband and she has been around him for years now.  Maybe she is in denial and just dosent want to admit that he is doing the things that he is.  If this is the case be prepared for her to be on the defense about you saying anything about her husband.  Sounds weird I know, but it is so very common for things like this to come back and actually be turned around on you like your trying to start trouble and mess up the relationship that the two of them have.

Answer 3

I love that you are going to tell her because she has the right to know. But I wont say that, say that you think that your uncle is maybe having an affair or messing around. that way it gets your message out but its not like a slap in the face for her.

Answer 4

EWWW! That is a tough one. Two things will happen. 1. She will be eternally greatful for you telling her or 2. She will be upset and tell you to mind your own business. Unfortunately, some women will let things like that go on and turn the other cheek. But, you know your aunt better than I do. Good luck!

Answer 5

this is wat i would say:

[usual chit chat]

well I would really like to talk to you about something important. I know I shouldn't butt in but I think [his name] is cheating on you. I know that's hard to hear, but I think it's something that you should confront. I have real strong suspicions and I'm telling you this because I love you and don't want to see you get hurt.

Answer 6

Yes tell her. No telling how you will end up telling her. If you don't and she finds out and then finds out that you know also. I'm sure she will be upset at you also.