I think my father is having an affair. ?

Question

I am an only child, and I have been suspicious of my Dad for about 3 months now. So, I will admit that I did somthing bad, and went onto his work email to see if I could find any evidence. He was talking to a woman via email and mentioned somthing about a meeting with a hooker. My Dad jokes a lot so I thought maybe he was kidding, but then he told the lady that the type of pleasure she got from him was "the tears rolling down your cheeks at climax" and then asked "Do you remember?". She said of course and then asked him to meet her for a "night cap". He did.

I don't know how to confront him, and if he is really cheating then I will be the one to break my family apart, and I don't know if I can. My stomach hurts so bad beacuse I need to talk to one of my parents but I don't know how, and I don't think I have enough evidence, and it could really damage my relationship with my parents. But, I havn't been able to look either one of them in the eye since I found out. I don't think my Mom knows because he always says that his is working late.

Please tell me what to do!

Answer 1

I hate to hear stuff like this...talk to your dad and tell him you know he's cheating.  You don't have to tell him how you know.  Your mom needs to know for her own emotional and physical health.  A friend of mine found out her husband was cheating when she contracted herpes.  He had slept with a prostitute and she intercepted the letter from the clinic reporting the bad news.  Now he is gone and she is stuck with the disease.

Tell him to tell your mom or you will tell her, for her own protection.  She may want to work things out or she may want to leave but she deserves to know.  One of the most hurtful things friend of mine have reported is when their man is cheating, their best friends know, and don't say a word to them.  Yes, some won't accept the truth at first, but the important thing is you tried, and they can do with it what they want.

I'm very sorry.  Affairs are selfish and distractions from problems that could otherwise be dealt with.  Take care.

Answer 2

talk to you mom about it

Answer 3

Kelsey, you need to tell your mom. You need hard evidence, if you can get it so if you can print those emails out that will help. If your parents break up over it, IT WILL NOT BE YOUR FAULT. It will be your dad's fault for not keeping his p****r in his pants.

The flip side is that your mom may already know about his cheating and may be working really hard to put it out of her mind and pretend she doesn't know - for your sake and her marriage's sake. So as a precaution I wouldn't shove the emails in her face, but just have them as backup if you need them. Open a delicate conversation with "Do you think Dad would ever cheat on you?" and proceed from there.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 4

they might have been college friends

watching a movie together, getting to remember each other more.

but if you ask me it sounds like they had s*x together

not prostitute s*x

Answer 5

Pull him to aside and let him know that you are in to him! Don't wait til it's too late there are so many diseases out there.  Don't say anything to your mom just yet, speak to him first!

Answer 6

Checking someone else's e-mail is a criminal act.

Outside of that, mention it to your mom. Women have subtle ways of confronting issues. She may have suspicions already. Wives are perceptive creatures.  

Answer 7

Ouch thats a hard one. Its not really your fault if they end up splitting, its not to cool on your mom if it is really happening, but its one of those allegedly. Try to hint to your dad you know whats going on.Then maybe hint to your mom that she should have a snoop. Then let the adults sort it out between them.

Eg. for your dad something like... hey dad, is cheating bad.... you never cheat on mum would you

eg . for you mom... i by accident saw something i don't think i was meant to think you should see it.

a separation in the family hurts but it usually means things are already hurting.

maybe he wants to tell her but doesn't know how...

Answer 8

Nothing. You cannot be a judge or body guard of your parents. Try to understand them, they are adults with feelings, and sadness and happiness, and urges what you do not know yet. If your Dad loves you, then he is a perfect Dad for you. You know, time to time wifes (husbands too) are wise enough NOT to notice some things around them, and the family peace is saved.  

Answer 9

How could you ever check your dads emails. If I was your dad, I would redden your backside  

Answer 10

I would give it a little more time and gather more evidence so you are possitive he is. and once you know, start hinting around about to him, make him feel guilty, make HIM be the one to tell the truth.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 11

Your methods were clearly an invasion of privacy, but that does, indeed pale in comparison with what your dad is doing to the family. You need to confront HIM, not your mother. Give him a chance to own up to it and correct it. The longer you hold back, the more that you will let stuff build up in you, and a serious confrontation may take place, where things that aren't meant to be said, WILL be said.

Answer 12

Oh, how sad. You are in a bad spot! If I were you I would confront your dad. I don't know how old you are, but you need to confront him first. Tell him what you found. He will deny it, but at least he knows you know. Give him the choice to stop and change the behavior. Or you will tell your mom. Put the burden back on your dad. This is his mistake not yours. I feel bad for you. I hope this helps in some way. Good luck.  

Answer 13

I went through the same thing when I was about 16yrs. old (now in my 30's).   I found evidence, but was in a fog of denial.  You should talk to the parent that you feel most comfortable with.  Your mom deserves to know the truth and unfortunately for you, it might have to come from you.  Your dad is putting her health and emotional well being in jeopardy.  You should not have to deal with this alone.  Do you have someone else in the family that you can confided in?  Maybe that person could be by your side when you confront your parent(s).  Best of luck to you and your mom.

Answer 14

Wow, I can only imagine what it must be like for you.

If I were you I would approach your mom first.

BUT PLEASE, DONT think that it is YOUR fault!

You are not breaking anything!

If your dad is having an affair it is totally HIS fault.

He is the one doing it!

I really think you should talk with your mom in private (when dad isnt home) but plase just always remember that this has NOTHING to do with you!

You're only caught up in this, tell your mom what you've found.

And be sure to tell her how you are feeling about this all.

Good luck!

I'm praying for you!

Answer 15

you arent the one tearing your family apart, if hes cheating then he already did!

Answer 16

I don't thnk you should be involved in this at all. You shouldn't read your dad's email or invade his privacy. I don't agree with what he appears to be doing, but you are their child, not their detective. Involving yourself this way is wrong. If you are so troubled by what is going on perhaps you should speak confidentially to a minister or counselor, but involving yourself would be wrong.