I think my friend has trouble being happy for me?

Question

i have a friend who is practically like my sister..we've known eachother for years. all throughout our friendship, we've had a weird sense of competition between us (about looks, boys, etc..) it use to be way worse, and we've worked on it, but its still there. recently, i got a new job that im really happy about. when i told her..she just gave me an unenthusiastic "yayy" and that was pretty much it. then she added how she cant wait to get a new job herself. same thing with boys..if i tell her about a guy, she immediately feels the need to one-up me and make her boy situation seem better. why is she doing this?

Answer 1

Two words; Oedipus Complex, clearly your friend's development as a pre-pubescent teen was delayed and throughout the years has slowly manifested itself into this almost mental-handicap. She is stuck in the  Electra complex, which is when women are in competition with their mother in order to get their father's attention. They want their father all to themselves. The father in this is not a singular object, but all species of men, and somehow this Electra Complex, after being staggered when she was a youngster has only multiplied and evolved into a state of a competition amongst her own kind. The mother is represented by all women, and only until she undergoes some sort of shock therapy or heavy psycho-analysis can she overcome this "disease". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_com... if you would like more info on said complex.

Answer 2

there is no reason why shes doing this to do with you she obviously has problems herself and has confidence problems even she acts real confident thats just a front dont blame yourself just go on being supportive of her if she gets a new job or boyfriend and show her your above her level of being jealous and she will probably grow out of it

hope this helps  

Answer 3

well if you guys have always had the competition between you too then its probably just normal to her. she is probably just jealous because of this new job. talk to her about it. tell her how you feel about the fact that all she said was "yayy" good luck

Answer 4

I think it has sort of become natural. My best friend does the same thing, and we have known eachother for a very long time. But I dont think you should blame her because you might be doing the same thing as long as it doesnt get to bad maybe its good to have someone else to have a friendly competition with.

Answer 5

she is probably jealous of you thats what 1 of my friends still do i dont think they have a life they like to mess up tours and make u feel bad she just eants to show shes better but shes not

Answer 6

maybe you should just take a break from her! i mean if she is that jelous of you then why would you want a friend like that! but thats up to you! thats just my opinion!

Answer 7

well some girls are like that they want to be better than other people like my friend i told her i got a new dog then she was like cool and added on i cant wait till i get my dog it will be the cutest dog ever

so you se your not alone here

she is probably jealous of you because you get things first i mean some people are just like that so dont let it get to you my mom said to let her know how you feel when she does that do the same to her and she will get the hint wait i do that to

Answer 8

If you said you have always had a competitive spirit between the two of you, I'm not sure why you are so surprised.  Also, it could be the way you are telling her.  Make sure you aren't bragging or making it seem like you one upped her.  Good luck.

Answer 9

its because shes jealous

Answer 10

Because you do the same thing to her...both of you need to grow up.

Answer 11

shes jealous

Answer 12

ive been there with my friend and his gf

wat she prolly thinks is why does she get all these good things and not me??

its jealousy and sometimes consumes ppl

Answer 13

well... what do you want her to do? Stand up and dance you a jig because you got a job?

Answer 14

gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg...

Answer 15

She has been taught by other friends and family that life has to be one big competition. She feels that if she isn't the one in the spotlight on top of the world, that she is worthless. She may have been growing up in a verbally abusive household. It's a learned behavior, and she learned it from somewhere. Not every one finds it necessary to be like everyone else. If she is made to feel inferior because she didn't do something first or do it better, than that is why. Some people are just miserable and want the whole world to join their miserable little world. My husband and his brother are always trying to one up each other and they are almost 30, it's so stupid. And gets really expensive. His bro is like, I just bought a 46" big screen hdtv, then my husband goes out and gets a 54". Same thing with furniture, clothes, jobs. They brag about how much money they make, the cars they drive. It's ridiculous. It's called keeping up with the Jones's disease. LOL! It's nearly impossible for mostly everyone to keep up for an extended time. You just run out of money, or energy.  

Answer 16

Schadenfreude. No, seriously, Schadenfreude. Look it up and tell me I'm wrong. I can't believe a single word sums it all up! Schadenfreude.

Answer 17

You REALLY need to talk her her about it!

Don't attack her! Make it sound like you're BOTH wrong, not just her. Give specific examples, like the job and certain people. Say that you really enjoy having her as a friend so you're worried that if the competition continues, you'll lose her!

If it doesn't improve, try looking around for some new people to hang out with.