I think my friend is cutting herself?

Question

We were at school yesterday and she was took off her jumper to change into her school jacket.

She was moving awkwardly and when she put her jacket on, i saw lots of faint, yet visible purple/pink scars all the way up her arm.

I have known her for ages and she is such a happy person, i would have never thought that she would do something like this.

What should i do?

Answer 1

don't judge her and ask her about it. let her know you really care about her.. just be there for her.  

Answer 2

Ok. First of all I'm going to say that I do cut myself. It might make my answer make more sense.

What you want to do is talk to her.

I know how hard it is to bring up, once I spent a week trying to bring it up with my friend, later on I found out she'd spent that same week trying to bring it up with me, she suspected I was cutting, and I felt it was time for me to tell her.

Anyway, I dropped so so so many hints. Tiny things that I wanted to lead to revealing questions. Things like "Whoops I cut a bit of my hair off" (with a blade.. I wanted questions) and "Oh yeah they searched us for blades and stuff... was a bit awkward!" (had a pencil sharpener blade in my pocket and we got searched)

And I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but sometimes when someone says things like that, they think they're reaching out- no-one else can see that but it's how you feel. And when no-one responds, it makes things worse.

Some people, including me, are really affected in cutting my friends and feelings of "loneliness".

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, just explain, as I wish someone would do to my friends...

You need to talk to her. Tell her you're there for her no matter what. Ask her if you could take her to the doctor (showing you're there for her again) Ask this regularly but not too much- maybe once a month since she's likely to change her mind. However also try to help her yourself. Otherwise she'll think you don't care enough to try and help her yourself.

Offer to give something up yourself. And if she refuses again repeat perhaps once a month. I had a friend offer to quit smoking and I could quit cutting. I declined, and she never repeated the offer, although there were moments when I might have accepted, although actually I doubt either one of us would have succeeded.

If she tries to tell you it's not important- she's trying to stop you worrying. She might not believe it entirely herself.

Offer to be her "sponsor", get her to ring you when she wants to cut for example. Just knowing someone's always at the other end of the phone can be great.

Come up with a "code name" for cutting. I can't type it if it's to someone I know, and I can't say it aloud, and neither can one of my friends. We came up with a code name for it, it makes it much much easier to bring up- make it something silly- makes it so much better to talk about.

Overall don't force her into anything but make sure she knows you're always there for her, that you try to understand, and that you love her no matter what.

Good Luck to both of you. I've been on both sides, although much much more experience on the being the cutter side.

Answer 3

It is possible. If she is always wearing a jacket that that is a really good sign. I think you should talk to her, people that cut really appreciate people that they can trust and talk to about things. She might freak out at first, and wonder how you found out, but talk things out and let her know you are there for her.