I think my mom is crazy?

Question

Ok so here's the story...

My uncle in Cuba, came out of Cuba in a little boat that they invented themselves, but they came out while Fay (the hurricane) was still in Cuba so it was rainy and a lot of wind and the sea was bad. He spent like 5 days in the sea and my family in Cuba started to get worried so they e-mailed my mom saying that it was urgent for us to call them. So my mom called and the bad news that my uncle had spent 5 days at sea and nothing has been heard of him. My mom started crying and stuff and we spent like a week trying to find out if he actually made it to land, because once you touch land the coast guards cant take you back. And my grandma, mom, and dad have been all trying to find out any clues that could lead them to find out if my uncle is alive or not. He still remains disappeared and there hasn't been any good news at all.

So here are the parts that I'm so freaked out about. My mom has been putting all these religious stuff on the living room table. She put religious candles and she put some pictures of my uncle there too. She also put a Bible and some other religious things. She's been crying and praying since yesterday and she talks to herself. And like an hour ago I went to the kitchen and I was laughing so bad because I saw something on the internet, she looked at me with a crazy face and she said "Do you think what I'm going through is funny? Get the f**k out of my face" of course she said it in spanish. OMG lol I was like wtf...so then I went back to my room and she comes is and says to turn off the music I was listening to because she wants peacefulness, so I had to turn off the music. Like 5 minutes later, she comes in and tells me that she is gonna buy a printer so that I can print her a picture that my uncle sent to us when he was in jail (he wasn't in jail because he was bad, I think he went to jail for like 1 day because he was going against the bad stuff that was happing in Cuba and stuff) because she was gonna go to a place where they will resize the picture and make it big, so that she can put it on a wall. Why is she gonna put a picture when he was in jail?? o_O

Don't get this wrong, I love my uncle and my family so much and I would be so sad if anything happened to him. I'm also worried if he is alive or not but she is going way too far. I think she has lost her mind...my dad is a drunk and now this is happening, it must be hard for her but she needs to calm down a little...What do you think? has she lost her mind or something?

Answer 1

your POOR mother!  She's worried to death!  Leave her alone or be a shoulder she can rant & rave & cry on!    She's probably remember their childhood & incidents & things he said along with feelings of guilt/remorse/ & the inablility to DO anything to help him!

When huge horrible events happen to us adults, sometimes we just have to get it OUT by saying/doing/ranting everything over & over.  It may be a 'temporary' mental breakdown, but she needs it & she'll be fine.

Sorry about your uncle & hoping for the best!

Answer 2

This is her brother, and she has a long history with him.  She doesn't know if he's alive or dead, and there is nothing she can do to help him.

So yes, her reaction is totally understandable and not that unreasonable.  She has every right to be upset.  The only thing she can do is pray for him, to focus all her energy on good wishes for his safety.  

It may not have be polite of her to tell you to f off, but it wasn't very considerate of you to be laughing and carrying on while you know she is so deeply upset.  It wouldn't hurt you to show a little more consideration for her grief, even if you don't share it.  Try to comfort her and support her, instead of just thinking about yourself.  Families need each other - now it's your turn to take care of her.

Answer 3

She's incredibly stressed out, and this is her way of handling it.  

Hasn't she ever shown signs of this type behavior before?  I bet she has.  But in this crisis, I guess you just have to put up with it.

One thing I do understand; she wants a picture of her brother in jail because she is proud of him for opposing the Cuban government.  And she doesn't want anybody to forget the injustices there compared to life in her new home.

If she and/or your dad are generally making your home life difficult, even when you don't have a missing uncle, I'd suggest you find an Alateen or Alanon meeting to go to and share experiences with others; you said your dad is a drunk; this is why I suggest this, because that would affect the emotional health of everybody in the family.  The school counselor could help you find a meeting, or you could look it up on the internet.

I sincerely hope your uncle turns up okay.

Answer 4

ya.. just let her be.. like a little kid.. let them kick and scream all they want.. btw dont tell her off.. she is upset and that could get some baadd results for you... especially when they can take things away from you.. Like my mom took my babii away (ma fone).. i was sad.. and its all because i asked her where she put ma ipod....:'(

Answer 5

No, she hasn't lost her mind. She is probably more scared than she has ever been right now.

It is REALLY hard to lose a close relative. I can't even explain how hard it is....all I really know is that it's not something you can ever really get over. You just have to learn to live with it. She knows this, and she is afraid of losing her brother. She's not going too far; she has known him a LOT longer than you have, they grew up together, right? Just think about how you'd feel if it was your best friend or boyfriend or even your Mom out there. It may seem like she's going overboard, but she's so freaked out and irritable right now (that's why she snapped at you, I'm sure) that she will do anything to make herself feel better, even if she seems crazed to you. If you help her out aorund the house, like cleaning or making dinner or something, that might make her feel a little less overloaded. Try to help her relax if you can; offer to babysit the phone or something while she takes a nap. something like that could really help out.

Good luck, and I hope your uncle is okay...