I think one of my two boys is becoming a peeping tom, do i need a child psychologist?

Question

i have asked this question already.but my problem still continues...

recently, i noticed that there were little holes in our bathroom door.cause i saw a light coming from outside when the lights in the bathroom are off. .i always take a shower every night before going to bed and noticed that i could be seen in the shower through the hole. i have'nt told my husband yet cause he might really get furious. i know little boys are curious about the female anatomy but boring a hole is too much and the fact that one of my two sons might actually be spying on me is just hard to believe.i could not suspect anyone else doing it because i only live with my husband(who is always out of town)and my 2 kids ( they are 9 and 11yo). by the way,I don’t think I’m that interesting for someone to look at, cause I dress conservatively and a little overweight.i hope I may be wrong, cause I feel awful and awkward with this situation. I want them to grow up to be normal and healthy kids. how should i open it up without embarrasing them?

update: i already covered the holes with a thick adhesive tape from inside the bathroom and still noticed that one of the tape was punctured. i did'nt confront them because i might overreact if they admit it, and as a mother i felt very disrespected. how should i handle this by myself? my husband wont be home for 2months.and i don't want them to be a pervert.

Answer 1

Seeing as they are young, it may not be that they are trying to be a pervert, they could just think its funny like children do at that age. I know how you feel but i wouldn't worry about them being perverts. Just ask them who made the wholes, or tell them 'I'm going for a shower now' and then wait by the hole inside the bathroom, to see which one of your sons come over to the door. Then look at them through the whole so they can see you looking. It will embarrass them, you can confront them and ask what they are doing, and they wont be able to deny it seeing as you have just saw them. x

Answer 2

First off do you know which kid it is???  Kids are curious and that may be all it is .  I would set my kid down and tell him how you feel.  Do not get angry just simply explain to them that you noticed this and that it makes you feel it invaded to think that someone is looking at you in the shower.  And that is a very uncomfortable feeling.  

Second if you don't know which kid it is don't embarrass them by talking to them together talk to them seperately.  I am sure they just noticed you are different in your build and are curious...

If this does not work then I would definatley have him see a counselor..

Answer 3

Having big and beautiful interesting glands is an eye catcher for a young lad with curiosity. He may well have come across Page images and now wants to see yous. Confront him but calmly and carefully that he doesn't stop expressing himself. Good communication is valuable for both children and parents. If you haven't already got trusting relationship with him, first build one with, by telling him innocent things that you were curious about in your childhood.

Answer 4

You Should Confront Them About This. Get A Book On s*x, Puberty, Growing Changes Stuff Like That. Talk About How This Is Wrong. Your Boy's Should Understand After You Talk About It.

- Kaitlyn ♥

Answer 5

It is normal behavior, but if you as a parent need to secure your boundaries then you should talk to them and tell them that it is not a comfortable feeling, please stop, proceed by covering the hole with some spackle or something that wont be easily dug. If it persists and it is bothering you then you might need to talk to a child pyschologist. We are nudists at our house so we are always nude, no one gets surprised no one is ashamed and no one really looks at anyone. I am respectful of everyone else of course, but find nothing wrong with the human body whether it be male or female. The body is a beautiful gift to be cherished and cared for is all. I wish you the best of luck with the young ones. I hope it turns out the way you want it to.

Answer 6

If that is really you in the avatar, I'd be peeping at those jugs too. d**n girl! I'd want to get crushed with those!

Answer 7

You probably should consult a child psychologist. I was intensely interested in looking at naked people as I grew up. It is normal. My parents were very open about it because they wanted us to feel that it is normal to be without clothes on. However, I didn't peep on my parents, but I didn't need to.

If you don't feel like you can have the "it's normal to be curious, but not normal to invade people's privacy" conversation then you may need some third party action. At least do a ton of reading on it, if you try and go it alone.

Answer 8

yep. its time to have the talk. not you tho. your husband needs to do it. start with the 11 yo.

edit

your husband is gone for 2 months? lord. no psychologist!! dont make them feel like their is something wrong with them because they are curious. and that is all they are. is curious.

Answer 9

I know I have never encountered this before, and the chance of getting good "homespun" advice on this "Answers" site is probably very slim.  This is very complicated and how you handle it could affect your boy/boys for the rest of their lives.  

I would consult a child psychologist and don't waste any time doing it.  You can tell your husband that you just want to talk about your anxieties about raising two boys without a full-time Dad; that you know it's not his fault - he must travel and make a living for all of you.  Make up some questions in case he asks.  Maybe something like "how to handle masturbation" with your boys or something like that.

Hopefully your insurance will pay for at least part of the cost.  But you go in first with your problem and then if she/he thinks you should bring in the boys, that's when you should do it.

It could be just harmless curiosity in the boys, wanting to know what the female body looks like and you're the only accessible female to them.  I would get the creeps too, though, and it does seem disrespectful.

Hope this helps you and I feel for you.  I had a daughter, but she wanted to talk s*x from the time she was six or seven and all through high school.  Those hormones are very potent!

Answer 10

Curiosity is very normal love. Clearly they have no sisters or neighbours with daughters nearby... (that's kind of a joke.. but in fact I learnt about that stuff very early in my life .. the neighbours daughter was my friend ... and her father was a paedophile so we got explicit instructions when way too young)  

Anyway.. it's time for that dad conversation love. The way to handle this I think is to get the boys together to have the dad talk... even if you are the one being the proxy dad...  I suggest with pictures is probably useful. Then as a separate exercise get dad to fill the holes up with a polyurethane patch filler... they can even help re-paint the door to make sure that the kids notice him doing it... There's really no need to mention the whys or what fors ... no need for accusation and denial.

EDIT:

Oh yeah... btw.. I noticed that your avatar exposes at least two features that are irresistible to any boy entering puberty. *shrugs*

EDIT: EDIT:

This isn't a serious offense, you know. YOu don't need professional help on this, that's for sure. Boys get curious at a certain age and your son is.. well...he's inventive!! You can't punish him for that... His peers are looking at p**n on the internet.... and maybe he saw it on one of those stupid teenager videos where they peep through the bathroom walls in a dorm... there are hundres of those movie scenes...  Anyway... I think this is a good reason to have a little nudity around the place from time to time as children are growing up. Kids these days have become so bashful when it comes to nakedness.