I thought about my parents' death when I was only 6 years old...what is wrong w/me?

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I think I have pretty bad anxiety...here's my story. ?

When I was 5 or 6 I couldn't sleep at night because I thought of death and how my parents would someday die and it was inevitable, when I was 8-10 it persisted and I decided that when I'd grow up, I would have to move away from my parents and lose my relationship w/them so their death wouldn't hurt me...is that a little weird. I thought about life ending day by day and I was only a little kid. These thoughts were a routine for me and would happen every night..I never told anybody but would sleep on my dad's floor every night if he'd let me...my mom would scream at me to go back downstairs because she didn't know why I was scared.

I don't think about death as much as I used to, but occassionally particularly at night and it fills me with absolute dread.

When I meet people or walk into stores or classrooms really any social situation, I get clammy and jittery and sometimes I get hives. I sweat a lot too. If people sit close to me I get really uncomfortable even if they're my friends.

I do take ritalin to help me focus, and I admit it jacks me up quite a bit, but even w/out it I am still like this.

Strangely enough I am an adrenaline junky and like to perform on stage or take risks and love sports and driving fast. It doesn't really make sense to me that I look for risk yet am so keyed up.

I also have a very strange sleeping pattern...it's not really pattern at all really. I either don't sleep, or sleep for 12-16 hours.

I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

turn to JESUS!

Answer 2

when i was younger i also feared the day my parents would die. i would feel really bad till i had to talk to them. and after many nights of them talking to me about it eventually it stopped. but whenever something is bothering me it wont leave and i have to talk to someone so it stops bothering me like i have to make sure its all good and then it leaves. but after a while i started being like *** it so things dont botter me dat much anymore yet sometimes they do. i barely found out a few months ago about anxiety and all that stuff i always thought thats the way i was. because i think you should see it like that not as a disease.well whenever something does bother you talk to someone about it it the best thing you can do.

Answer 3

i starred your question because i think alot like you!!! i wish i had a answer for us though

Answer 4

Firstly, stop the Ritalin. The Ritalin may just be making things worse, as research shows that aggression, restlessness, hallucinations, unusual or suicidal behavior, and muscle twitches are all potential side effects.

Secondly, find a friend. Do you have any friends you could talk to? If you could, it would make things much better. If you do not, try to overcome the fear of public situations and talk to someone. I often talk to friends if I have any troubles; this solves most of them. If you do choose a friend, however, choose one who is not likely to gossip; as you do not want more problems. I always look for reliability or intelligence when I make friends; I tend to talk more to those people or just hang around them.

I have always worried about death, too; I have overcome it by becoming more religious. If this is not an option, or if you have a lot of time, you could always use science to comfort yourself: Find out about your family history. Ask your parents to describe theirs, or their grandparents; or if you have grandparents, ask them to describe their elders. Use the information you have (try asking for family medical history) and figure out what the expected lifespan of your parents should be. If you are from a healthy family, it should be around 80 years. You will also learn a lot about your family in the process.

The reason I have always worried about death is mainly because my father has suffered several heart attacks in the past and has major heart problems. There is also the fact that I have almost died six times because I suffer from severe food allergies. I also have OCD, schizophrenia, and schizoid personality disorder; however, I doubt you have any of the above.

I'm no psychologist, so I cannot diagnose the sleeping problems or risk taking, but I can tell you that seeking help from an expert may be useful. Just make sure that if they prescribe therapy for you, it's not in the form of drugs, as a misdiagnosis with psychiatric drugs is more dangerous than often is thought. Try to get counseling or alternative forms of therapy.

See if you can do any of the above -- I'm sure it will solve your problem, if not at least partially.