I thought my dreams were finally coming true (see details for the question)?

Question

TO UNDERSTAND THIS YOU WILL HAVE TO READ AN OLD POST OF MINE... THE LINK IS: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au8Z6DZHzZ36g7O11hZWXiPty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080807184433AA5wdKl

SO PLEASE ONLY ANSWER IF YOU HAVE TIME TO READ THE OTHER QUESTION/ POST.

I thought my dreams were finally coming true. I guess now I see that some things are too good to be true. I thought everything was going great with my boyfriend and me. We were finally getting along like the old days when we were seeing each other. He finally asked me to marry him and was serious about it this time. Well, at least that is what I thought. It must have been a cruel joke of some sort. I feel as though he just stomped all over my heart. He may as well just rip it right out of my chest.

See, we had this arguement awhile ago and I thought we had worked through it. However it was brought back up tonight and I guess it was not worked out. I told him over and over how sorry I was about the loan issue ( it was over a loan that I had before I moved in with him) and he accepted my apology and now he is taking it back. I was stupid to get the loan, but I have learned my lesson and at the time I thought what I was doing was the right thing to do. This may not make sense unless you read my other question. I would appreciate it if you did then answer this. I just need some advice on how to make him get over this and what I should do now. I told him I would never take my ring off again and now I feel like I should, seeing as though we are not getting married now. However I don't want him to call me a liar or anything else again. This will make sense when you read my post. Please no sarcastic answers. This is a really sensitive issue for me. Serious answers only please.

Answer 1

He said the two of you shouldn't tell each other evey thing then threw a fit because he didn't know every bit of your business and you're sorry?

This guy is ripping you up when he has no right.  Until you and he are legally married you have the right to conduct your own business.  You are being tied in knots and manipulated.  He has serious self esteem issues and is beating you up to make himself feel better.  Quit being his whipping boy.  

You may  have to walk away.  I'm sorry but he will be like this for the rest of the time you are together and when you finally get enough of his behavior there will be a nasty divorce and you will drag a child/children through it with you.

The more I read and reread your posts the more outraged I feel for you.  Tell this guy to kiss your ###.  How dare you apologize for doing what you thought was right.  And apologize over a loan?  Good grief.

He will not change.

Answer 2

I read your earlier post. I'm sorry, but he is acting completely irrationally and his actions immediately point towards "control freak".You are a grown woman. You had a loan. You used your own car for collateral for God's sake, nothing of his. It was also before you moved in together, right? It'd be a shock to hear this from your partner but I cannot understand how it escalated into such a massive fight. I mean you tell him you got a loan. He's supposed to say "What? From where?" You explain. He says "Oh ok". He feels cheated on? You filled out a few forms and kept it secret, it's not as if you had a physical affair with someone. Irrational.

YOU slept in the living room! That's absolute (I'm not even going to say it because I know it'll be censored and there's no point). Fight or no fight, the woman gets the bed. Even if you disagree as a couple, he was a rude and pathetic excuse for a man. To put the cherry on the cake he even took back his apology. What a gentleman.

"I would appreciate it if you did then answer this. I just need some advice on how to make him get over this and what I should do now"

You can never "make" somebody get over something like this. Take action and make things happen for you, not him. Don't be so needy of his so-called love or his acceptance. For crying out loud you are putty in his hands and you are WORTH A LOT MORE THAN THAT. I'm sorry, but he is in the wrong here. I don't see why you should even have to make the effort here.

Marriage faces a lot of problems. If he reacts this way over a couple of pounds, what will happen when something major happens? This man sounds less like a partner and more like a second son. I'm sorry if he has hurt you but you need to realise that you can't settle for being treated like c**p.

Your heart is broken but this isn't true love. It's all one-sided. You need to move on from this relationship. I'm sorry if it seems harsh, but I'm being honest and it's not as if a fairy tale answer will help you because you are obviously very distressed about this.

Pick yourself up and move on. Your heart will eventually heal. Good luck with everything, whatever you decide to do. I hope you will be happy :)