I told him I was going to leave, and I didn't, now I feel like an idiot, should I leave?

Question

My fiance and I have been having A LOT of problems and my temporary solution to that problem (because it's to the point where our kids are being exposed way too much to our arguing) was to go down to my mom's house which is 3 hours south of here. We don't have any friends or family in the area. He asked me yesterday "are you sure that's what you're going to do?" when I told him I was leaving and I said "yes". He probably asked because I've said I was going to leave with the kids in the past, but I never left. Well, he isn't trying to stop me, he's admitted he is emotionless and doesn't care what happens anymore, and he even made a snude remark during an argument yesterday saying "well I guess it's a good thing that you're leaving". Thing is.. I never left last night, but I've still been thinking about leaving. Should I? My reasoning for leaving is to get away from the constant arguing and also because it's really hard for me to to be around him when I care about him so much, but he's off sleeping in the other room, not giving me kisses goodnight, doesn't call to check in when he's at work anymore, etc and I think it would be easier for me to deal with all of this AWAY from him. I mean he says he wants to work this out and he doesn't want me to leave, but his actions say otherwise.

Answer 1

I don't know people say things to get there way and also in the heat of the moment if he really wanted you to leave he would help it along like just tell you to go not say he wants to work on it. Seems he is just not taking it serious. For some people reality doesn't set in until it actually happens. But I don't think he wants you to leave.

Answer 2

You've already taught him you don't mean what you say. Why would you expect him to believe you this time?  

Answer 3

It sounds like the caring and loving relationship has ended, so should your co-habitation.

You each deserve a caring an loving relationship. If you can't get it from each other, then find it with someone else.

Answer 4

leave.

Answer 5

I think  it would be a good idea for u to leave, its quite obvious that u both need time apart, the reason why he is asking if u are still leaving and seem OK with it is because he is happy that u are leaving, he realizes that u both need time away from one another, and since you were the one to initiate the time apart, he is happy about that.So i think the best thing that you can do is leave for the while, and let time bring healing to your relationship.U guys are killing the relationhip slowly, and if u don't leave for a while it may damage the relationship to a point whereby its beyond repairs.

Remember absence makes the heart grow fonder.Take care hun!

Answer 6

You need to take a long look at your relationship.  The life you have with this man, is this the type of life you want for yourself and for your kids?  If he doesn't love you, you deserve to find someone who will.  A loveless marriage never turns out good.  It takes two people loving each other a lot to make it today, without that foundation, it is not going to work.  I don't know your heart, only you can decide, but think about why you keep saying you are going to leave, and the way he reacts.  Just remember one thing ,my VERY WISE pastor told me once, "Men NEVER change, the man you marry is the man you will live with forever.  Women on the other hand, change constantly.  You must love one another with your heart, soul, and mind completely."

Answer 7

If you said you were going to leave, then you have to leave. You can't throw empty threats out there. That's childish and will scar your relationship. Leave for a little while, wait for him to call you, and if he doesn't ... Oh well, honey. You were better off without him.

Answer 8

See ya!

Answer 9

Counseling is what you both need.  You  both want to work it out and have reached an impasse.  If there is no real reason, such as an affair, then maybe you have a chance!  Right now you need referee, so you can air out your stuff in front of a neural third party, who isn't close to either of you.  Try it for the kids sake.  

Answer 10

If i were with someone who said they were leaving I'ld think they were being childish actions speak louder then words don't make threats you don't intent to follow thru with. It's not a great start to a marriage if you are alreadly telling him your gonna walk out on him ...how do you think that makes him feel? i'm betting not to great i would not trust you.

Answer 11

I THINK IT'S A BAD IDEAL TO TRY TO MAKE HIM CHANGE BY THREATS it is wrong to say i'll leave EVERY time there is a fight if my hubby said that i would have his bags packed and wish him well. I'm not gonna BEG anyone to stay.

Answer 12

He has already told he doesn't care any more. What else do you need? A kick in the butt?

Answer 13

Time for BOTH of you to speak to a third party to resolve your issues.  The question you should be asking is how can you guys stay together and enjoy each others company?  

Remember, a relationship is a committment with two people, not just one!

good luck.

Answer 14

if you leave your running away from your prob....... you and him will be married and which means yall will have to stay together forever no matter what so if your ENGAGED why not work it out? GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

Answer 15

Sounds like the old story of the boy who cried "Wolf". Sheesh!

You should do what you say you would do and not just think about it. Make your decision, then make the actions fit the words.

Answer 16

Actions speak louder than words.   Right now your statement is nothing more than a bluff and it has been called.

Answer 17

Why wait around to see if he's going to change, just worry about the welfare of your chidren and yourself. make arranges to move, take your time. Maybe he'll realize that he wants to be with you, maybe you'll realize you're okay without him. either way right now and always, it's about your children. Time doesn't stand still for noone and you are more obligated to making sure the environment your chidren lives in and around is healty...and that goes for you too because you're their mother..Good Luck Sweetie!!!