I told my wife I want a divorce shes still here, why?

Question

We have been married 3 years. She had 3 teen boys when we married. 1 is in college(19),1 about to leave for the military(18),Our daughter(4) and her 17 lives with us. We moved into our new home last year with my name only on the mortgage. Her credit was bad. Her 18 year old was disobedient when we moved and I tried to whip him we got into a fight. He has apologized and has been home 5 times since. Weds, He nor my wife told me he was coming and I am furious that he did not ask my permission 1st. On Friday my wife asked gas money and I didn't give her nothing. I borrowed money from her 19 year old son and bought me some beer. She came in furious because I bought beer and didn't give her money. I would not tell her where I got the money because it was not her business.She threw 1 of my beers out the door. I picked up a chair to hit her but changed my mind because my daughter was in the room. She always puts her children first and then me. I told her I want a divorce , don't need her, don't want to see nor talk to her. She still has her 6 bedroom house that is now vacant, but told me she is not going anywhere and will fight me for this one that has 5 acres. I am driving her truck because my car died, but my money helped pay for repairs. She carries my medical, dental, vision, and car insurance and pays utilities. I pay bills just like her because we have lots of animals. She has not said a word to me for 6 days now and has moved upstairs. I gave her my ring back, and I have been talking to her paster about my anger, But ,Why is she still here?

Answer 1

You sound selfish.  You must really not love this woman...why the heck did you marry her?  hit her with a chair?  what is wrong with you?  you must be crazy..that's why she puts her kids before you because if she didn't who would...you sure wouldn't. Peace out loser.

Answer 2

Well first of all whipping him would be the worst thing to do to your wifes son.

& dont ever try or to think of hurting your wife in physical ways,

& there is medicine for anger issues

Go see your doctor or something,

& maybe she still loves you,

Maybe she thinks its just a fight

Or has no where to go?

Im not so sure

I didnt really understand alot because of the way you worded it.

Answer 3

Maybe she is staying because deep down inside she still loves you. What I hear you saying is that you want a divorce and don't need her but you didn't say that you don't love her. God can restore your relationship if you let him. I would seek Christian counseling. Life is too short to be fighting. Ask for, and accept by faith the control of the Holy Spirit over your life. There are some books that you and your wife can read that are helpful The Joy of Committed Love by Gary Smalley. Toward a Growing Marriage by Gary Chapman  Check with your library to see what books they have. Read in Matt 19:8-9 what God says about divorce. There is another verse I want you to read Eph 5:25 and Eph 5:22 for your wife. Also, there is a website I want you to go to and check out. Pray and read God's word daily. One thing I do know is that Jesus loves you and there is nothing impossible for him to work out. I will be praying for you and your family.

God Bless

Faith  1Cor 13  

Answer 4

i would have to say you want a divoces ,or maybe your wife still love you ,i would talk to some at church for help,when you ave your ring back to here what she say,email me please lets chat some time ,[e-mail],just to chat my friend ,good luck~!~!~

Answer 5

Because she has every right to be :)

See until your divorce is final and a judge denotes that the house is yours.... you can't do **** to her :)

And personally if I were her, I'd print this **** out and use it as evidence in the case :)

Do tell her I said congrats will you?

Answer 6

I have no idea cause you sure dont sound like a winner!  Why would you say you changed your mind about hitting her with the chair cause your daughter was in the room.  If you were a real man you wouldnt hit a woman with a chair regardless!  Plus borrowing money to buy beer when the mother of your child doesnt even have gas money screams LOSER!!!  Plus you even borrowed it off of HER son at that.  Maybe... she is still there cause she wants to stick it to you for being so worthless.  Plus, you should move your butt out and let YOUR DAUGHTER have the pleasure of staying in HER home with her mom.  Cause lets face it I figure the 4 year old would go with her mom.  So basically you want your ex and your daughter to be uprooted.  I'd seek counseling if I was you on dealing with anger plus read some self help books on morals and loyalty.

Answer 7

Wellll, in California it doesn't matter whose name is on the mortgage...it's 50/50.  Soooo, if your resident state's rules are the same as Calif, it's half hers.

Who gets the seven year old?  If you are going to be mommy/daddy and stay in the home then your wife should consider leaving.  If you are not, pack your bags and get out.

Answer 8

Sorry, I'm having a little trouble understanding how it is that SHE pays the bills, SHE carries insurance on you (you obviously don't have any of your own), SHE has a car that you are driving. Yet SHE'S the one with bad credit?

Another thing that doesn't add up...you don't even have enough money to buy beer so you borrow it from your 19 year old stepson, but your wife has to ask you for money for gas to presumably buy gas for the truck that you're driving?

And I'm sorry, your stepson needs YOUR permission to stay with his own MOTHER? Yeah, someone probably should have mentioned that he was coming, but if no one should have to ask permission to see their parents. I have step kids, and my youngest lives with us. His mother is welcome my home anytime she likes because her son lives here and I would never want her to feel uncomfortable in her own son's home.

You need to seriously get over yourself. Maybe your wife is still there because your complaints are so ridiculous she can't believe you are even remotely serious about getting divorced.

Answer 9

It's her house too.  She has every right to be there.

Who do you think you are trying to whip anyone.... let alone an adult child of your wife?  You sound VERY violent and need to talk to someone other than HER pastor.

You have no right to discipline ANY of her children like that!

Answer 10

Because she still loves you and doesn't want to give up on the marriage.

Answer 11

I don't think she's there because she loves you. I think she's there because she has no where better to go. Honestly, what guy is going to want her with 3 grown kids, plus yours? Oops, you did. You sound like a psycho yourself. You were going to hit her with a chair but the only thing that stopped you was your daughter being there. WOW. I guess you have some restraint. Honestly, I think you're full of s**t yourself. You two are stuck to each other. Why is she there??? If you REALLY wanted her out, you'd be doing what you gotta do to get a divorce. You'd be talking to a lawyer, the cops about it. You're not doing anything but b1tching and contemplating hitting her with a d**n chair. You're no better than her, you're actually worse. Of course her kids come first, that's what a loving parent does. Barrowing money from her kid to buy beer?? You sure you live in a house and not a trailer park?

Answer 12

When you become a mom you learn to put your children first.You are being selfish when it comes to attention from her.She needs you just as much as you need her.If adults never fought about money i swear we would never fight.There i alot you are going to lose by leaving.Emotionally and financially.Are you sure you two cannot make up it seems so silly to divorce over things that can be resolved.You don't even have half the problems other couples have out there.You both could use counseling it works.And you violence may not be able to be contained next time,SO go get help and work on your marriage.

Answer 13

what an ******

You .. not her :)

Answer 14

Good question. I would have left you years ago.  

Answer 15

Simple.   She has to make meals for her kids and who would not partake in a free meal when you did not have to prepare it yourself.    Mind you, you might have to pay a little more  attention to what you eat if it tastes "slightly off".   Then again, maybe she knows her chemistry well enough to know which ones taste and which ones don't.

You sound like such a sweet dear and the world must revolve around you.   I really can't see what you did that was wrong.   Beer is very important.   She is not going anywhere because she she would end up walking as you have the vehicle.

   But that is only right, right?  And to top it off, you will continue to pay the bills.   You should present your case just as you have stated to Judge Judy so everyone can see what a "hoe" that woman has been.  Hope to see that.  Am rooting for you.  Me and the gang.

Answer 16

Life is a cruel joke with many lessons to learn. I'm willing to bet that deep down inside YOU don't want her to leave.

Answer 17

Simple: divorce doesn't happen in one conversation.  

Answer 18

she still loves u

Answer 19

I think you need to leave she has kids to think about and she's right to put them first and how dare you even think about hitting her... you sound like a drunken *** who needs to get his life in order... I suggest you leave her and the kids in peace... sober up and get some counseling...

Answer 20

At least you got bear dude . h**l love stinks what did you expect ? Just drink your beer .

Answer 21

Beats me.  You sound like a prince of a guy and I can't imagine why any woman wouldn't fall over to keep you.

Answer 22

Because if she were to leave, she would be screwed financially.

But I advise you to NOT physically hurt her.. You WILL go to jail.

Answer 23

I honestly think your not capable of making smart decisions.

-getting off the beer is the first thing you need to do

Answer 24

you tried to whip an 18 year old? don't you think he is a little too old for that kind of treatment? if your wife lives there too she does not need your permission for her child to come to her house. you bought beer when she needed gas in her car? what if she had been stranded somewhere. god, do you even care about her at all? she told you she was not leaving , looks like she is standing her ground, and if you abuse her because of that, like say hitting someone with a chair, you will be the one leaving, with a police escort i hope.

Answer 25

She's waiting for you to leave.

Answer 26

Maybe because despite all of the c**p you two are going through her love for you is unconditional. When you were married I am sure you both vowed to love each other "For better or for worse". Those are the vows you both took. Perhaps when she took her vows and vowed to love you through thick and thin she meant it. It sounds to me like you definitely have anger issues and aren't putting forth the effort to make your marriage work. If you want your marriage to work it can work and things will get better. If you want to destroy your marriage you can do that as well. You must remember that it takes two people working together in one accord to make a marriage work. I will keep both you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers. Peace and God bless.

Answer 27

maybe she has nowhere to go

Answer 28

You sound like a real prize.    Why don't YOU leave.    She'll get half of everything you have accrued during the marriage, so I'd get a good lawyer.   And, go ahead and hit her you might be better off in jail.