I took my friend out for dinner and she ordered the most expensive thing.?

Question

She also ordered a large glass of of wine a side order then when she had finished it all she said "I'm really full but I want something else". Then she ordered a dessert even though I didnt have one. She didnt thank me and didnt even offer to put the tip down for the waitress. Is this taking advantage ot not?

Answer 1

that doesn't seem right, if someone else is paying i usually get something around average even though i could usually eat more, and even then i always thank whoever pays for it

Answer 2

Technically it's not but if I were her I would not have done that. If someone else is paying you should be grateful and not greedy. Now if you told her you were paying after the food was ordered there's no fault here. If you were taking her out that includes the tip as well. She should have thanked you. Next time you know better.

Answer 3

"Fool me once shame on you.  Fool me twice shame on me."  Don't let this happen again.

There are basic rules of etiquette when you treat someone out for dinner.

When you take someone out for dinner you are the host.  While the gesture is nice keep in mind that your guest should feel comfortable enough to order whatever they would like on the menu.  After all the treat is on you.  Next time choose a restaurant that is within your budget where you will not be concerned about what is being ordered.

In fairness to you, whenever I am being treated out by a friend I never choose the most expensive item on the menu simply because I appreciate the thoughtfulness and realize my friend is paying for the entire meal.  If I do order something very pricey from the menu I will often insist on paying the tip. ( more about tipping later)

The fact that you didn't have dessert should not determine whether or not your friend has dessert.  

If you're the host you should not expect your guest to pick up the tip.  That is just not done.  Your guest might offer but you should not expect her to do so.

Having a glass of wine (be it large or small) again is a matter of preference- your guest's preference.   Again, you need to be a gracious host- not a chintzy host.

However If your friend did not have the decency to say thank you for a wonderful dinner then consider it a lesson learned and don't pick up the tab in the future.

Answer 4

if she were a good friend she would have been more considerate. you did something nice for her now you feel taken advantage of (and rightly so IMO) and to not say thank you?? do you really need friends like that?  

Answer 5

These things can happen when you invite someone out for dinner.  If I  offer to pay I sometimes mention that I need them to keep it below a certain amount.  That is when my funds are limited.

But when someone treats me I offer to leave the tip, and I thank them for the meal and the good company.

Answer 6

Yes that was really rude and unappreciative. Never take her to dinner again.

Answer 7

I would say that if this was a pattern of behavior on her part, and wasn't reciprocated in kind then yes, she is taking advantage.  However, if you invite someone out to dinner, they should be able to order whatever they want.  Next time, go somewhere less expensive if you have a problem with her expensive tastes.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, if you 'took' your friend out to dinner then that means that you are the one who should pay.  Next time, if you don't want to pay too much, keep the restaurant choice simple, or make sure to ask if she wants to 'Go Dutch', meaning you both pay your share.

A lot of people love invites out to restaurants as they look at this as a time to order the best items on the menus without having to pay.  I get shy ordering high priced meals even with my parents!  I guess it all depends on the person, though...

Answer 9

I think she may have some sort of resentment deep inside toward you.

Just a guess.  I'd find out.

Answer 10

I'd say this is taking advantage of good friendship let them know how you feel if after you have spoken to them they come up with the Phrase "well you shouldn't of invited me then" let them know you hope they enjoyed that meal for that was last time you bust out with that courtesy & of course lets you know how much you're "friend" cares of you're feelings & pocket....- talk it .. its tough but speak now or forever hold you're peace...

Answer 11

That isn't something that I would ever do. I feel awkward ordering an above average priced item when even my parents or in-laws are paying, much less a friend.

Answer 12

when you offered to take the friend to dinner, you pay.  

next time, wait till she offers to take you to dinner, then you get even.  

Answer 13

obviously your friend has no etiquette when it comes to ordering when someone else is paying....i would have said something to her...that's just how i am with my friends...if they are friend enough for me to foot the bill then they are friend enough for me to tell them to put the skids on running up my tab

Answer 14

You offered to take this person out, right? That was very nice of you.  Unless you specifically gave them a price range- which, let's face it, is tacky- you cannot be upset about the price of what she ordered.  Not offering the tip- again, your treat so maybe she felt this should be handled by you too. As far as not thanking you, TOTALLY rude. Next time treat her to subway instead

Answer 15

She was totally taking advantage.  

Unless she calls you VERY soon and says "Wow!  Thanks for the great meal the other night, I had a great time.  Let me make it up to you!  I'm treating you to lobster and dessert at your favorite place."

If she does that, then she's cool.

Answer 16

Sounds like she could be a gold-digger....or she was just really hungry! See if she wants to meet up for dinner again...her treat. If she says no...then I would think she was taking advantage of you. Or next time you pay, see if she can split the bill with you. Maybe it will help.

Answer 17

that is an uncomfortable situation.  If you take her out again, perphaps you should suggest splitting the bill or simply paying for your own meals...then perphaps she will be more price concious...

Answer 18

this is indeed taking advantage. You should learn from your mistake and never take this person out again, then maybe she'll learn something as well.