I tried every approach, but she insists on bringing him!?

Question

I received a call from a friend when I sent out the Save The Date cards for my wedding(marrying in February). She called and asked "Will I be able to bring a date?" and I said "Yes." She said "OK. But is it OK if I bring my boyfriend and his fifteen year old son?" I said kindly, "No, I'm sorry, but you can only bring one date so we have enough room for everyone at the ceremony and reception." My friend said "But I've known you for a while Taylor, can't you just make an exception." I said "Katie, no. I don't even know your boyfriend let alone his son, I don't want his son coming." She said "But other kids are coming to the wedding!"(she knows this because she is part of my bridal party). And I told her yes, but only ones I know, not strangers! She said "I'm bringing my date AND his son, I don't care if you don't like it!" and hung up.

Ever since, I've called her back from either threatining her with security and being uninvited to just plain out being mean and telling her she couldn't bring him. She says either way, the 3 of them are coming and if security kicks them out, then she'll make up some crazy lie to my fiance after the wedding that I cheated on him! I told my fiance so he'll know, but still.

What should I do about this crazy b****? Please help and don't say ignore her, because I can't!

Answer 1

Don't invite her to the wedding she sounds like trouble & might make your special day a living h**l.

Answer 2

I'm surprised you're allowing her in your wedding party after all this. I would give her the boot and calmly say, "When you're ready to accept that this is my wedding, not yours, and respect my wishes for our guest list, I'll invite you and your boyfriend (no kid) to the wedding and reception. But at this time because of your hurtful behavior, I can't allow you to attend the wedding at all."

Answer 3

your wedding is meant to be a day that you remember for the rest of you life. You don't want to remember it for all the wrong reasons.

Try arranging a night out for the four of you and to nip it it the bud. You may find the her BF to be really understanding for your reasons for not inviting the son

You also need to let your friend know how hurtful she's being and if she can't see it maybe she's not the friend for you

good luck

Answer 4

She sounds mad... Next time she calls just tell her not to bother coming, she has no respect for you by saying things like that.

If it gets really bad, call the cops, that will scare her.

Answer 5

Press Restraining Order on her!

Answer 6

This is the main piont= SHE DISRESPECTS YOU AND YOUR BUDGET!

I know how expensive a wedding is, and especially since you should be HAPPY on YOUR day (not hers), then why should she ruin it? Simply tell WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL IF YOU BRING THIS 15 YEAR OLD TO AN ALREADY VERY CROWDED BRIDAL PARTY OR NOT? if she doesnt listen, she's not worth your time. This is YOUR friendship, but she's acting like a selfish person! This is YOUR night! Why oh why would you want a stranger there in the first place? Tell her that she and her bf can come, but if you see the 15 year old, then your friend will be kicked out, and the 15 year old can stay, for the sake of the crowd! of just tell her, I'VE HAD IT, YOU'VE PUSHED TOO MUCH OF THE WRONG BUTTONS, GOODBYE!

Answer 7

Take her out of the wedding.  She has no respect for you!

Then again, I would have let her boyfriend bring his son.  If he doesn't know anyone at least he would have someone at the wedding he knows and he would be more comfortable.

Answer 8

shes totally crazy! this is your wedding, they are expensive and you should not have total strangers children at your wedding if you do not want to pay to have them there. If she insists that even security will not keep them out, get a restraining order, shes nuts. Check the laws in your area, you can probably get one for 30 days without a court hearing, get it two weeks before the date of your wedding. Dont tell her that you are going to do this before hand it will just bring out more bad behavior in her.

Answer 9

Just tell her not 2 come.  

Answer 10

The last thing you need is problems on your wedding day.  Nip it in the bud now.  Rescind your save-the-date in writing and cross her off your invitation list and your list of friends---she is a rude and disrespectful freak.

Answer 11

Will having one more guest break your budget that much? I know that this is more about the principle of the matter, but you need to decide if it's worth breaking a friendship up over. If you can't ignore her, then it sounds like she's very important to you and you should compromise and let her boyfriend's son come. If you refuse to budge then realize that the friendship could be at stake. If you can live with that then you should be able to ignore her.  

Answer 12

Geeze! What is wrong with her? Why don't you say calmly, and respectfully, that this is your wedding not hers. You wouldn't do that to her, would you? She's completely out of order. If your fiance knows what's up, then just make sure security is ready!

Answer 13

I think one of the strangest parts of this is that I bet going to a stranger's wedding reception at which he will know nobody is one of the last things in the world that a fifteen year old wants to do.

Answer 14

I would lose her as a friend, replace her in the wedding and univite her. Let her get "kicked out by security". If she's crazy enough to act like that in front of a child and on your wedding day it's probably a good idea to get rid of her. Why waste your life away worrying over people like that?  

Answer 15

I'd tell her not to bother coming. You have a legitimate reason for not allowing his son to come, and she is being completely ridiculous! Send her an email and a letter both telling her not to come and then be sure to warn security that she might show up. If she does, then have them ask her (and her boyfriend and child that you don't even know) to leave, no bones about it. If they refuse, have them call the police. She is not only being completely disrespectful, but borderline pyscho and I'd serisously consider investigating a restraining order.