I used to be in playboy and now.....?

Question

I am a 36 year old and because of some really foolish things I did in the past, some including being in playboy 16 years ago, I have earned a bad reputation. Few years ago, the word about my past got out and I became the **** over night. No one confronted my about these rumours but I was informed by a co-worker about their existence. At work where I work as a nurse, most people do not want to be associated with me. I have always denied everything to my family, but now feel that my family’s attitude changed – they don’t call or visit as much. Some people from work attend the same church as I, and they must have talked to others about me because I sometimes get these weird looks after mass (although it is a possibility, I doubt that it is just my imagination). To make matters worse, over a year ago, my husband left me and I am now a single mother. Needless to say I feel extremely vulnerable and have very little hope that I will be able to put my life together. This past year I tried really hard at fixing things. Aside from placing my daughter as my top priority, I go out of my way for people at work, I show care and compassion toward my family, I attend a bible study group and keep a very low profile trying not to attract attention to myself. I know I messed up and I do want to make things better so my daughter and I can have a good life. Is there still help for me, or is it too late? I really would appreciate some kind advice, no putdowns are necessary – trust me, I put myself down about this enough! Thank you for all who choose to comment.

Answer 1

It sounds like you're really down on yourself.  You've had some crummy things happen and made some choices you're not so happy about.  Sounds like you need to talk to someone - maybe a clergy member, maybe a professional.  You need to be ok about your past before anyone else can be cool.  We're in a pretty modern time.  A lot of situations can be shocking to begin with but then they blow over and people get to know you and love you based on who you are,  If they don't - maybe you needed to move and recreate your life.

Being in Playboy doesn't make you a ****.  Hold you head up and be cool with who you are.  Others will be too

Answer 2

I assume that you cannot or willnot give a name so we can see you in Playboy.

Here is my concern: you deal with extremely shallow people. The people of faith show their prejudice for instead of shunning you, they should forgive and then embrace you, for isn't forgiveness the name of the religious game?

Those at work are a bunch of slack-jawed hypocrites, for we all have done things in our past.

Did you husband leave you over the Playboy or was it other issues? I mean, if you never told him about your posing and he found out, i can understand why he is angry about things ("If she didn't tell me about this, what else is she not telling me?"), but he, again, shows his shallowness.

Everyone has a past. Everyone does something that they think at the time is OK, but we learn later on was not the best thing to do. Personally, as long as the past does not intrude on the present, it remains in the past.

PS, dump the Bible study class. I don't think you will find what you are looking for there, as your church has already shunned you

Answer 3

It's unfortunate that the past can determine so much about the present and the future.  It's especially unfortunate when your past choices weren't any that hurt anyone else.  I wish I had great advice, but people will continue to be ignorant and shallow for the rest of time.  Whether you chose to pose for playboy in the past or not, or really any of your past decisions, it should not have an impact on how your life is today.  The best advice I can give is to ignore silly shallow people, a lot easier said then done, i know.  Or perhaps try to sit and talk with them if you think it would make a difference. Sometimes it's a lot harder to judge people once you get to know them or hear them and realize they are a real person with real feelings too.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are setting your priorities correctly... child, self, then everything else. Don't worry about what others think. Love yourself. Everyone gets the blues. Don't let depression rule your life. If you're looking for salvation in the church, you probably won't find it. It seems most people just like to find someone else that they think is worse than they. That way they can feel better about themselves. Way too many judgmental hypocrites in religion. Not sure why someone would think you're a ****. What you did when you were 20, especially just photos doesn't define you. If you were married and sleeping around, then I could see why some may label you . Forget the rest of the judgmental idiots. Be proud of who you are. Work hard. Be honest, and treat other as you wish to be treated.

Answer 5

You are doing right for looking out for your daughter and attending Bible studies. People do not forget the past easily. We are judged by what we have done even if we have regretted doing those things. We want to forget the past but these people keep reminding us of it.

"Those who haven't sinned cast the first stone" as Jesus said. lf God the Son can forgive us, who are these people to judge us.

lgnore those sneering you behind your back. Let them talk all they want. We really can't control what goes on when we're not around. What matters is you're turning a new chapter in your life.together with your daughter. Continue being the compassionate person that you are. Never forget that in every dark cloud lies a silver lining. Yours will come out least you expect it.

God bless.

Answer 6

it don't matter what ppl think of u only what u think of urself

gotta remember that