I used to think that having a great career and working even when I had kids was the way to go? Now I dont?

Question

Now I think I would be happy not working at all when I have kids. I want to stay at home with them until they start school. 2 years ago I would have NEVER planned to do this. I am not the only one; I saw on the Tyra show how many girls my age (20's) want to stay at home (much to the dismay of their mothers who worked hard to prove themselves as women in the workforce)

Answer 1

You bet, use some washed-up TV drug addict as your role model.  Better stay off welfare!  I ain't paying for your kids.  Looks like your mom worked hard for nothing.

Answer 2

Yes stay home until the kids are in school and then work...only sensible thing to do...you do want to have a hand in forming your children's character and not leave it to daycare...

Answer 3

and...

I have always figured if I had a child their life came before mine. I find it pretty selfish to have a child and dump it into a daycare because you rather be at work. I have no problem with those who HAVE to work but those who simply do not want children holding back their careers? Why have kids, clearly they are second on your agenda and children should be the first priority.

I been a stay at home mom for three years now and love it. I don't care if it is a father or mother who stays home but I think it is the parents responsability to raise this child not the daycares. Put your career on 'hold' for 4 years for your child, really.

Answer 4

Maybe there is some hope for future generations after all ?

Answer 5

Good

Answer 6

ok, what's your question?

Answer 7

It's called growing up...most people do it at some point.  Making decisions is a part of adulthood...making good decisions takes the practice of a lifetime.  It really wouldn't surprise me if you change your mind back and forth a couple more times (maybe more than a couple) before the event actually takes place and a "real" decision has to be made.  Regardless of what you ultimately decide, you're doing the hard part now...pros and cons, asking for advice from other people, figuring out what you really want, ect and that will take away a lot of the stress from the actual decision when it comes time to make it.  Kudos to you for planning ahead.  We only get one shot at this life so enjoy all of it that you can in a way that keeps your mind, body and soul happy and healthy.

EDIT:

Mike T, I apologize.  There was a mouse mishap and I unintentionally thumbs you down.  I attempted to change the rating and that didn't cancel it out and I don't think there is a way to remove it, but I wanted to let you know it was an accident.  Sorry about that.

Answer 8

I think there is an urge for women to stay home with their children because of what kids are learning and becoming outside of the home and with caretakers.

Family values have gone out the window and kids are getting in more trouble now than ever before with alcohol, drugs, s*x, violence, etc. So I think it's natural to want to stay home and have your children grow up the way you want them to and instill the right morals and values that you believe.

If you are able to stay home from work for 2 years and raise your children properly, I'd recommend doing it. Give them your love and get their lives off on the right foot.

Answer 9

Wow it sound like you're getting some sense, even though it came from Tyra! Now go one step farther and research how much better it is for you're kids for you to home school them!

Answer 10

I too, wanted to stay home with the kids and wife but she screamed at me, called me a lazy, no good' useless bum, said I was driving her crazy, and through me OUT!!!  Why did she have to be like that?

Answer 11

People should be allowed to choose, not forced to be a mother or forced to be an employee. I am starting to believe that the 'having it all' idea is just another feminist idea that looks good on paper but is a total flop in reality.  Trying to juggle work and children just means dropping your colleagues in it or dropping your kids in it. When are we going to stop letting campus dwelling family-rejecting career feminists tell us how we should live our lives?

Answer 12

You can do whatever you want. That;s what the women's movement was about in the seventies, CHOICE.  

Just make sure you are financially stable.  The bad part is, it doesn't matter what career  you were in before, when you go back into the work force you will be treated like a complete idiot and have lost the ability to earn a decent paycheck.

Answer 13

Their mothers should be ashamed of themselves - they've worked toward female liberation so they can choose what they want, then they are trying to squash down their daughters and opress them into something they don't want to do.

I think that a parent should lways stay at home. If you have kids then you should put 100% into it, which is why I'm not having any as I can't really be bothered.

People men and women are brainwashed into hving 'careers'. WHy does everyone want to spend so much time working? I'd rather do the minium amount of work and have less money so I can spend my time doing things I want. But then if they let people think like that society wouldn't have as much money ;-)

Answer 14

Perhaps they've had some experience of work and found it overrated.  Or perhaps they just think it would be fun to have a few years at home with the children when they're young.

The years when you can just have fun with them and don't have to worry about dragging them off to school every day are in many ways the most enjoyable, so I think they are probably making a wise decision.  It's a period that doesn't last very long (unless you have a very large family) so why not enjoy it?

They can still go back to their careers when the children are in school, if that's what they really want.

Answer 15

That sounds good. Though, I wouldn't base anything on Tyra.

Why don't you try working part time in something that's simple and fun for a while? Then you CAN have it all. My mom stayed at home with us most of the time. During the weekends she worked as a figure skating coach. She really loved it and we ended up coming with her most of the time. That's how I learned how to skate. It let my mom have some freedom and some extra cash, without sending us to a stranger. She also had the fun dealing with adults for a while and getting out of the house.

I don't think its very easy to have one parent stay home while the other works anymore. Living and raising children costs too much money and society does expect people to work even with children. It will not be a walk in the park if that's what you decide to do. Our family was always broke when I was little, but it was certainly worth having my mom there with me. Unfortunately, I didn't see my dad enough for the first three years of my life, because he took a job that had a lot of traveling. Eventually, my parents kinda switched roles. My dad started taking care of us, while my mom returned to school and became a fire fighter/paramedic. I'm very proud of them.

Answer 16

I think many are seeing the benefits of staying at home.  The bigger problem now is being able to finacially do this.  Best of luck though.

Answer 17

So . . . what's the question?

Answer 18

Unless you have a hubby, who is going to support you? I think in order to be able to do stay at home with the kids, you would need to have a traditional family( hubby who works and wife stays home)

Otherwise you would be having kids unmarried and not working....not good.

Answer 19

Of course you want to stay at home, but think of the poor buisness owners who need additional labour. Do you have any idea what an insurance for a ferrari and veyron costs ?

Answer 20

We all have to chose our paths; remembering with that choice goes responsibility. A responsibility that also comes in the form of cut-downs.  You're the one doing it and people, they can be cruel.  Do what is right for you. Just like you and me they'll die, too.  While you're doing it; just keep an open mind.

Answer 21

if you can afford it, then try it. My aunt tried it, and after 1 year she was tired of it, because she realized she stopped having adult conversations. sometimes work is a way to break out of the routine

Answer 22

Sounds like a good idea as you don't want to miss a minute of those precious years till they start school.  I'm assuming you have a husband who can support you and the children?  There will come a time when the kids are older that you will want to go back to work.