I want a baby, but she doesn't what should we do?

Question

My wife had a miscarriage about a month ago. I now really want another baby, but she still isn't ready. Since we are minors our parent's had to sign consent, but part of the deal was that we wouldn't have another baby until we both graduated high school. Even though we made that deal I still want another baby. I know babies are expensive, but I think we can make it work. I'm wiling to make any kind of Scarface for this kid, but she sill isn't 100% ready.

Answer 1

You have to wait until she is ready. I know it can be hard it is the best thing. Good Luck

Answer 2

consent for what?  for yout o get married?  cause that would make sense, i thought you were saying they had to sign for you to have a kid and i was like...huh?  anyway, id say let her heal, emotionally, and physically at least before trying for another.  good luck!

Answer 3

There's no other answer but to wait. If she's not ready you can't force her to be. Just live your youth!  

Answer 4

give her some time.

Answer 5

what is the rush? If you are still in high school, than you are not prepared to take care of a child the way it should be taken care of. You have PLENTY of time. Take the time to get your own lives together, and prepare to make a good home life for your children. That is what being a good parent is about.

Answer 6

you really need to wait till she is ready. if you try and pressure her into having a baby there is a likely hood that she will not connect with him or her and be very depressed! I'm sorry that you had to suffer a miscarriage and I hope all works well for you both....when your both ready!

Answer 7

I had my first child at 18.  Be ready to give up going out when you want buying things you want sleeping all night hanging out with friends.  Wait till you guys are around 24 before having a child.  I am now 29 with three kids and i wish i would have waited, I cant go anywhere without them, i spend my days helping with homework, baths, answering questions, cooking, cleaning, laundry....the weekend comes and he wants to go there she wants to do this lets have a slumber party with 10 little girls screaming their heads off till 1 am.

I know that having a child seems like a great idea oh they are so cute and lovable and all that but....your not ready and your girlfriend is definetly not ready.

Answer 8

What are you doing!!! this child CHILD she is a minor got pregnant and the baby died and you want her to try again and she isn't ready!!! she wasn't ready the first time even as an adult it is hard to take a miscarriage let alone a child who is insecure.

PLEASE don't, PLEASE give her a little bit of herself back respect her and leave her alone if you keep pushing I hope she kicks you to the curb because that is wrong really really wrong!

Give yourself time to enjoy college, friends, living on your own then maybe with a wife candidate, then think about a healthy environment for a child and only after you know what that might be, your too young, your feelings are about a child a baby that will or would need 100% of your time efforts and patiences, you are not grown yet enough to understand.

Please don't

Answer 9

You are too young. Get some life experience before bringing a baby into the world.

Answer 10

I don't want to burst your bubble but graduating high school should definitely be on your to-do list before reproducing. I'm almost 21, my fiance's 27 and we are scared sh*tless about having our first baby! We have great jobs, cars, a house, and a loving relationship.....but it's still scary. You need to listen to your parents and girlfriend and wait AT LEAST until you graduate. Good luck!

Answer 11

So let me piece this together;

You're both minors, so let me assume you're both 16 or 17.

You've been having s*x for a while.

Your now-wife had a miscarriage about a month ago.

And AFTER that happened your parents allowed you to get married with the stipulation that you don't try for another child till you get out of high school.

Well.

This is what I need you to do. Go to a shelter and pick out the cutest little dog you can find. Or cat. Or maybe a ferret. But something that you can love and cuddle and not have to raise for 18 years.

You're using a popular cult movie title to replace the word "sacrifice"; you might need to mature a little bit more before you take on the responsibility of a child. NOT TO MENTION the fact that your wife isn't ready to try yet anyway.

Just seriously, get a dog and wait another 5 years or so. Graduate high school, get established with an apartment or a house or something, take a trip to France....  

Answer 12

Scarface? I think you mean sacrifice. Sorry...BUT..

I think you need to allow your wife to have a bit of grieving time. I believe she will come around. Maybe waiting is best, especially after something traumatic like a miscarriage. Good luck.

Answer 13

Well if your willing to make a sacrifice for your child, you would sacrifice your anxiety to have it so soon, you would think of how if you graduated from high school AND college, you have a better chance of a good job and providing for the baby, that's how you really sacrifice if you have patience and plan what's best for the baby, and you know college should be your first priority and a well paying job. What's the point in having birthday candles without a cake(having a baby but can't fully provide for it)

Answer 14

I'm # 11 and I agree with everyone above me

education first, after college and a job..........maybe then.......

now........grow, emotionally, intellectually, physically, financially, spiritually etc

Answer 15

Of course she isn't ready! She just had a miscarriage. That is a traumatic experience and something that will take time to heal. Don't rush her and don't be selfish.

Second, you are both still minors?! You are not ready to have a baby when you are still a child yourself!

Don't rush your life. There will be plenty of time for you to have a child in the future.

Answer 16

BE PATIENT, IT WILL WORK OUT IN THE LONG RUN. IN THE MEAN TIME ENJOY HAVING s*x.

Answer 17

Son, I just had a miscarriage, it took me all sorts of ultrasounds and blood tests and trips to doctors and emergency rooms to come to the most dreadful end to pregnancy I have ever experienced. I have had 3 other children and one other miscarriage. You wifes doctor told you both that you needed to wait 3 cycles before trying again, additionally my personal feeling is that you are a selfish jerk! Your wife has just been through the most traumatic event a woman could under go, trust me I've done it twice and I have a combat tour in Iraq to compare it to! Your lack of concern for your wifes health and the fact that your question has all sorts of gramatical errors leads me to believe that regardless of age you have no business being a husband let alone father.

Answer 18

If she isn't ready, she isn't ready.  Since you are both still in high school, my guess is that neither one of you are really ready.  How would you really be able to support and care for a baby?  You can't hope to get a good-paying job without an education, and for as much as you think you may be prepared, it is far more physically, financially, and emotionally demanding than you could ever imagine.  Between going to school full time and working to try and keep a roof over your heads, who would take care of the baby after it's born?

I am very sorry for your loss, but having another baby isn't going to replace the one you lost.  If you are really committed to the idea of having a family, just wait.  Graduate from high school, go on to college or trade school, and establish a good-paying career with benefits so that you will be better able to take care of your family when the time is right.

The best thing you can do for her right now is to be there for her and help her through her grief.

Answer 19

wow you are sure a refreshing change from all these boys and girls posting questions about wanting to have abortions ...

im glad you want a child they are very special but you have to understand that your girlfriend is not ready emotionally or mentally ...

I had a miscarriage last july, my husband wasnt sure he wanted a child that early into our marriage and finally when he got happy about it I lost it and we were both really crushed ... he cried for days ... I think he took it harder than I did ... anyways I wasnt ready right away but when we finally got to talking about it we tried and now he is soo happy we are counting the days for the birth of our son ...

Right now Its not good for you to pressure her ... understand she must be crushed! as a mother most of us believe that we had something to do with the death of our child and she may be scared ...

Also if you signed an agreement you have to respect it ... you will have plenty of time to have a child later ... once you graduate ...

Good luck to you and I have alot of faith you will be an awesome daddy some day! :)  

Answer 20

get some counseling and do NOT bring a life into your mixed up world.

Answer 21

Oh Joe, yous are minors? why do you want a baby? You have so much of your own living to do. Babies take time and love and lots of it. There isnt going to be any time for just you and her. It will be all about the baby. The s*x gets less and less, i can guarantee, she will end up cranky, you will too, you'll start fighting. Thers is pooy nappies vomit all night drug stores, no sleep, no football games, no beer and mates, its a huge responsibility, for the rest of your llife, enjoy your freedom and independence, enjoy and make the most out oif your child hood, and what ever you do do not push her into something she doent want to do otherwise you may end up losing her and a baby.

Answer 22

just wait trust me i had my oldest at 15 and i did it by myself. it was so hard. i did finish school and worked at the same time and couldnt spend much time with her because i was doing all these. you are feeling this way because you got excited and now missing the baby. just take a babysitting job and see how it really is. at least you then can give them back