I want a baby, hubby doesnt?

Question

Any advice as to how we can compromise? Please this is causing a big rift between us. We have been married for 3 years and I want a family.

Answer 1

First off, did the two of you discuss this prior to getting married?  If so, did you agree at that time and then one of you changed your minds after getting married?  If that's the case, then you two should talk to each other.  

If, however, you wanted a baby and he didn't before marriage, there's not much you can do.  Marrying someone who doesn't want a child when you do is a marriage breaker and is something that should be discussed prior to getting married.

There is really no compromise here.  If he really doesn't want a child, you cannot force him.  lf having a baby is more important to you than your marriage,  you should probably get a divorce.

Answer 2

Surely you discussed children before you got married??  You cannot force him to want to have children, so if you both are committed to your decisions then you must go your separate ways.

Answer 3

Well, I guess I would ask him *why* he doesn't want a baby.

It could be anything really. He may want to wait a couple years, or he may not want children at all? Did you discuss this before marriage?

If he changed his mind and he seriously never wants kids and you are adamant that you DO, then I would divorce and find someone else as difficult as that would be emotionally.

Best Wishes.

Answer 4

He's  not ready right now? Or he just doesn't ever wanna have kids?And you did not know this before you got married?Well I would find out why he does not want kids, And if it becomes a big issue leave him

Answer 5

Ask him does he ever seeing the two of your having children.....and if so about when would that happen.

If he's never going to want children.....you'll have to decide if wanting children is strong enough to leave your marriage.

Some times love isn't enough.

Answer 6

Have you talked about the reasons you do/he doesn't?

That would be the first step.  Is he worried about finances?  Timing?  Etc...

Maybe start with a puppy (not being sarcastic - and they ARE a lot of work).

Answer 7

I don't understand it . I want more kids myself and want to get married but I just found out the guy I have been with and living with doesn't have a interest in either. Tried talking to him about it and I told him you should have told me from the get go this is what you wanted and I would have never entered into anything with you. I feel it's not right to stay with someone and develope love and feelings for them and then break that kind of bomb on the relationship. You can't make someone that wants kids not want them and you can't make someone that doesn't want them to have em, so my feelings are all over the place right now. It sucks b/c I could see myself with him forever but I want a family and I want a marriage at some point in my life.

Answer 8

You should have settled this prior to marriage. Or did you change your mind? A child should have two parents of the opposite s*x who are married and wants him/her. So wait until he changes his mind or leave.

Answer 9

Didn't you discuss this BEFORE you got married?  Forcing him to have kids will not make him happy and could lead to a divorce.  Maybe it's time to reassess your marriage and your mutual goals (or lack of them).

Answer 10

First of all, would he be willing to have a child at a later time? Or is there something with your relationship that needs fixed before children come into the mix that you may not be aware of?  If he doesnt want one and you do, maybe it's best not to bring a child into that atmosphere because you dont want a father that resents their child.  

Answer 11

this is the ultimate dealbreaker. u cant compromise on this. what u both shouldve done was discussed this throroughly before u too got married so u 2 would be on the same page. it would be wrong to try to change his mind on the issue because it wouldnt be fair to him if u had children behind his back. it takes 2 not one. then he will resent the fact he has children and will leave u as a single mother. u need to have one last long talk w/ him. ask him to be very honest. hey not everyone wants to have children. if he chooses not to have children and if he's ocmpletely sure about it u need to divorce him and find a man that wants to have children.  

Answer 12

There is no way to compromise.  Either you have a baby, or you don't.  There's no inbetween.  One of you is gonna have to give in, or you are going to have to get a divorce.  Sorry.  Good luck!