I want a baby so bad but...?

Question

I'm 27 yrs old and married for 3 years, I never wanted a baby so bad the first years of marriage, I wanted to work on being a better wife and enjoy my husband's company and love without all the responsibilities that come with a baby, but, from a few months ago to now, I just can't stop thinking about it. We've talked about it because it was actually making me very depressed not to be able to plan one yet due to various reasons, but now, it seems like is tormenting me more every day, celebrities on TV are talking about babies, many of my friends are getting pregnant or already have kids (not that I want what others have BUT is like all that doesn't help me keep the thought out of my head. I work (one of the reasons why I don't have a baby yet, I can't leave my work at this point), I don't have insurance either, we don't make that much money and live in an apartment. We have 2 dogs that we love but still, a baby is just been permanently in my mind lately.

ALSO even though my hubby says he does want one and whenever I say "let's go for it" he'll agree, I don't feel like he's very interested or excited about it, and I want him to want this baby as much as I do and not only to please me. I even stopped talking about it because everytime I get quiet or depressed he asks and I don't want to come up with the same issue all the time! I don't want to be that person talking about the same all the time!

Anyone out there with the same situation? and any advice on how to stop thinking about this so much? I do work a lot and have hobbies, still, the thought still lingers all the time. And it hurts.

Answer 1

Hi, I am 17 with my 14 month old and I love it! My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 13. We moved out of state and into our own apartment. I have been REALLY wanting another child. I am a nanny and work with baby's all day. I love children and want a huge family. My boyfriend thinks I am crazy. I tend to find my self looking a baby stuff all the time. The best way I try not to think about, I think about the cons. Witch is not a lot. But It works. My boyfriend is in collage for 3 more years so after that I am going to keep trying. Guys are not very interested in baby's like us women. Just make sure that that is what he really wants.  You can't really expect a man to be very emotional and into stuff like that. A women becomes a mother when she is pregnant and man becomes a father when he see his baby.

Answer 2

well if you want to stop thinking about it try watching the reality show called Baby Borrowers. After seeing that I'm sure you will stop thinking about children and maybe even make you not want one. Children are a lot of work.

Answer 3

save up some money . buy a house and then you will be able to provide a proper home for a baby dont stress about it. it will happen you just have to be patient.

Answer 4

If you dont have insurance than you can't even remotely afford a baby.

Answer 5

watch MISS CONCEPTION.. that will help.... a girl in the movie has the same situation!

Answer 6

WOW!!  I feel like I wrote that!!  I feel the EXACT same way, and wanted someone to chat with about it but didnt know quite how to post it.  The only difference is that I am 25, have been married for a year and a half(but together for 9 and a half) and we do have a house...  man righ tdown to the two dogs!!  And my husband is the same, man... I have been feeling this way for almost a year... since last september... before that I was on the 5-10 year plan!!  I so wish I could help you figure out how to no tthink about it day in and day out. and hate everyone with a baby(thats how I feel), not really but you knwo what I mean, I get so jelous.  I look at peopl with car seats and say that just isnt fare...  I can tell you watching baby shown doesnt help, but I do it anyways... I record Birthday, and special delivery, and all of those shows on Discovery health... It sucks... thats all I can say, and it doesnt go away, only for a day or so... thats after I convince myself that it just isnt the right time... We need to chat more!!  Take care...  

Answer 7

"Celebrities on TV are talking about babies..."

Don't you think that you should wait until you are more mature before even considering bringing another child into this world?

Answer 8

If you want a child that badly then have a baby. Your hubby will be just as excited as you are when he sees his little baby!

Answer 9

The only real problem I see is your job. If you can't miss out on work then there isn't much you can do. The others aren't really that big a deal. It's fine for a baby to live in a place with dogs.

When I was 17 I moved to Oregon to be with a guy I had met while living in Cali. He didn't ever want to get married and he didn't want to ever have kids. I was here for 2 months and found out the day before my 18th birthday (he was 21) that I was pregnant. When I told him he didn't have much of  a reaction... but he thought about it and he got kinda used to the idea and he continued to get more and more excited as the pregnancy went on. Especially when he was able to feel the baby move. I'm sure if you got pregnant your husband would be happy. Especially if he wants you to be happy.

Also, you don't necessarily need to be on welfare to get temporary insurance from the government right? I am pregnant with my second kid and I have insurance until the baby is 2 months old.

Answer 10

yes talk to your bf how this all makes you feel and guilty for bringing it up

its something that increasingly come up in my mind, and well it allows us to talk about a lot of kid related things, it helps to talk about it and not just coop it up

next time talk about it in a different sence like how you would raise it at different ages and whatnot, it still allows you to contemplate on the subject while also being usefull in making you think through things that can be of importane later

Answer 11

About your husband. . .guys are RARELY ever as excited as a woman about getting pregnant

and as for your financial condition

try applying at places

try and get a better job to improve your life financially

look for a better paying job if you really want one that badly

and pray to God that things improve and you can have your baby soon

I hope all goes well, and I'll pray for you ;)

Answer 12

I think it's natural for women to want babies.  It's just how our minds work.  I don't really have any advice on how you could stop thinking about it...I know a lot of people get a pet when they start to want a baby but don't feel like it's theright time, but sounds like you already have done that! One  thing for you to remember is that it probably will never feel like "the right time."  You will probably never have as much money as you want, or be as stable in your career as you want to be, but a baby is a blessing, and things work themselves out. As for your husband, many men have a hard time getting excited about a baby...many never show any excitement until the baby is born.  that is when it is real for them...not when we're just talking to them about it, or really even when their wife is pregnant.  If he says he wants a baby, then I'm sure as soon as the baby was born, he would be ecstatic.  It sounds like you really want a baby but just feel like the timing is off...it might not be a bad idea to try to save up some money and buy a house, and you will definitely need insurance, but the decision is totally yours.  Maybe try taking a vacation with your husband.  Maybe that will be a nice reminder of something you wont have the time to do with a baby, and will get it off your mind.  

Answer 13

i know exactly how you feel, my fiancee says one minute he wants a bub and the next he doesn't, we've been trying for 11months now and still nothing, hang in there and baby dust to us and everyone who is trying good luck