I want a cat, but my fiance doesn't?

Question

Before we met, I had a dog. We decided to move in together, but because we moved into an apartment we couldn't take my dog. We have been living together almost a year, and I have been really missing having a pet. Since our apartment allows us to have cats, I would really like to get one. I would take such good care of one. The only problem is my fiance. He doesn't want one. He hates the thought of having a cat! I am really dissappointed.

I don't know how to convince him to let me get one, and be ok with it.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Jackie G is right.  Don't adopt an animal unless you are sure you can bring it into a place where it is wanted and will be cared for and won't ultimately be abandoned (in case, for example, you break up and find yourself moving to a place that doesn't allow cats either).  

Keep trying to educate him on how a cat is actually not as bad as he imagines.  Maybe he'll come around.  Or maybe he won't.  You may have to accept the fact that being with him may require a pet-free future.  We like to think that we can change our partners when we get married, but any married person can tell you that this is a pipe-dream.  If anything, marriage makes people become more like themselves over the years.

Disregard those who say that someone who isn't an animal lover is not worth loving.  Just as their are imperfect animals, there are imperfect people (for example, me and everyone else).  It's not a character flaw, just a difference; neither of you is right or wrong.  And he is not necessarily treating you wrong when he says he doesn't want a cat.  Maybe, just like a cat, he doesn't want his home upset and his routine interrupted.  His position is valid and right...for him.  You have to decide if it's acceptable to you.  More importantly, you have to decide if his refusal to give in is a pattern on his part or something done on an issue by issue basis.  You don't want to be married (or be) someone who must always have his way.  You also don't want to be married to a doormat who makes decisions based on what you want without consideration of his own needs or what is right.  No one at Yahoo Answers can answer that question except for you.  

For both of you, marriage is not about doing what you want regardless of the other person's wishes.  You and he will both lose certain "rights and privileges".  Getting married meant that I lost the right to stay out all night (or even get home late) without letting anyone know where I was, it meant no s*x with other women for the rest of my life, it meant keeping the toilet cleaner than I find necessary, it meant not watching college football all day on Saturday.  Asserting your "right" to get a cat despite his dislike of the idea is sort of the antithesis of building a home and a family together.

Answer 2

gettin any animal has to be something everyone that lives in the household wants, if one person is agaist it this can cause problems in your relationship, as you will try to defend the cat at all costs as it poos everywhere, tears funiture, bites and scratchs people (kittens do) your boyfrind will not learn to love the cat as you wish for he will resent it then hate it and you will end up having to get rid of it, to keep your boyfriend happy, dont spoil your relationship, dont get a cat, Its not fair on any animal to bring them into a house that is not going to be a 100% happy enviroment. make your descision very carefully, a cat is also a life with feelings.you could get a hamster they are very loving animals, and dont make the same demands as a cat, rabbits aslo make good house animals but again dont make  the same demands as cats or dogs this would be a good way of getting your boyfriend used to having animals around then you could progess to a cat when your boyfriend see how positive an animal in your lives can be.

Answer 3

just get one, and bring it home. my hubby didnt want me getting our kitty, but i just went and did it, and once he  looked into her pretty green eyes and saw how cute and cuddly she was, and how happy she made me he couldnt resist.

plus, thats so sad about you sacrificing your dog for him, if he gets on your case remind him of the sacrifice you made. he will get over it!!

Answer 4

YOU HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION......

EITHER YOU OR YOUR BOYFRIEND......

ANY MAN THAT DOESN'T LIKE ANIMALS......IS NOT WORTH WASTING TIME AND MONEY FOR.......

Answer 5

well you can try the....if you loved me you would at least give it a try.

Point out to him how cats are very clean animals, very self sufficient & if he's never had one how can he judge. But i will tell you right now, one of the quickest way to melt his heart will be with a cute kitten, hardly anyone can over look that.

I remember about 19yrs. ago i had a similar situation with my husband(he had only had dogs & so he decided he hated cats) so i arranged the kitten (along with its sister) to be dropped off to me when i was leaving work, he had asked me to stop at 7-11 for milk so i got the milk & put a little water & dirt on the kitten (worked it into the hair & told my husband that when i pulled into 7-11s parking lot i saw a mother cat who had obviously been hit by a car & was dead and there was 1 kitten next to her & i just couldn't leave it there. My husband totally understood & even helped me to clean the kitten up & he even went back out to pick up kitten chow. Within the week he began to connect with her & needless to say she just died a few months ago & between those years we have always had at least 4 cats at all times.    

Answer 6

You want a cat. You get a cat! And that's that! If the fiance doesn't like the idea of you having a pet, then ask yourself what other rights and privileges will he try to take from you once you are married? Now is the time to set down the ground rules.

Personally I would get two black and white kittens..........but that is just me.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I think that convincing him may not the right thing to do. He likely would never be happy with the animal if he is set against it.  A relationship is about compromise but animal people are animal people and it is very difficult to get a non animal person to want or like animals sometimes.  Is it just that he doesnt want a cat or is it all animals? I know that some people are just not cat people but dogs are fine to them. If thats the case maybe see if you can find an apartment in your area that would allow a dog.  

My ex-husband never wanted my cat when I got her and he never warmed up to her, never even talked to the cat really.  I kept her and got rid of him :)  Didnt happen because of that though.  

Answer 8

Get the cat, get rid of the guy.

Seriously, check into a foster program. Many of the Humane Societies and animal welfare agencies have foster programs in place. That will give him a chance to live with one and if it becomes a problem you can take it back to the shelter.

I decided after dating and living with a guy that didn't like cats, that i would never compromise my love for cats for a man. What kind of person (unless allergic) doesn't like animals.

Good luck with him!

Answer 9

He needs to accept that he may learn to love the cat as part of the family - and you need to accept that you may have to respect his wishes - or move out.

I take it you dont have children? Is he going to be the same when it comes to having them?

Answer 10

My ex wasn't into cats, but when i got mine, he slowly learned to love him. In fact, he started buying toys for him and making up cute nicknames!

I think you need to find a friend of his who has a cat and likes it to talk to him and let him know its not bad. Cats are generally the easiest to take care of.

Maybe you guys can adopt a kitten from a shelter or be a foster home for cats, so he can see what its like.

It can also help a relationship to have something in common to care about :) I hope by xmas you guys will be taking holiday cards with a cat! haha

Answer 11

Since hes your fiance shouldn't he want to make you happy and give you something you really want unless he was allergic than ok its understandable.But if hes not than what the h**l that's what a relationship is sometimes you have to put the others happiness in front of you.Pets are the best so i understand why this is such a big deal to you.If your fiance really loves you I'm sure hed be willing to put up with a little fur ball.Unless again he had a good reason such as allergies