Question:

I want a divorce, but I have no money and only 2K on my credit card. What can I do?

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My husband doesn't want a divorce because I have good credit, plus he's playing mind games and doing things like saying "Go out to eat with me and pick me up from work and I'll pay the rent for this month", then if I step out of line at all and say or do anything that displeases him, like bringing up marriage counseling or asking him what the purpose of the separation is (he left me...no counseling, no discussion...one day I said if you're going to keep lying to me, then you should go...and he did...), then he'll explode and have a fit and threaten to stop payment on his checks.

I didn't have time to set myself up financially for this - and he knows it. While married to him, I made bad decisions in letting him use my credit card and pretty much spend all my money for me and now I have credit card debt, but still have good credit. I was raised to pay everything off every month. He's also a drunk and has obviously had accidents in my car while he was out drinking. He would come home stinking of booze with a cell phone full of messages from girls from bars and he would swear up and down that he was working late. Then I would look at the car and see a big scrape on the side or a dent in the front fender. He would always say I'm crazy and it was like that when he got it...well, it wasn't and he won't pay for it.

I'm sick of cowtowing to him for rent. I have a job and I'm in grad school. I moved to the cheapest apartment I could find. But because of my supposed income with my husband's income (that he spends on electronic gadgets, going out to eat for every meal, gifts to other women, and drinking drinking drinking), I don't qualify for much financial aid. I don't want to drop out of school.

I sold everything I could to get some money and I have a little less than a thousand now. I'm just wondering if there are any resources for people who can't afford a divorce but need one. I'm living a nightmare. Please help.

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9 ANSWERS


  1. cancel your current credit cards and get new ones in your name only.  do NOT allow him access to these cards.  put a fraud alert on your credit report so they know to call you for any unusual activity on your credit.  i'd even change banks, and not tell.  

    since you'll have to save for your divorce,  start putting away his beer money.  also, if you have public transportation available, maybe even selling your car could be a good option.  you could move into a basement apartment, or even go with a roommate situation and not let him know where you are.

    since it'll take some time to save the money for your divorce, you can stay wherever you choose (roommate/basement apt, whatever) for the duration of your saving, so that way you can prove that you had not been living with him for however long you're gone.

    save, continue to pay your credit, and apply for a new place elsewhere.

    good luck


  2. You may qualify for assistance through Legal Aid and I would check their first.  Begin with a legal separation and if you are low income you may qualify for welfare assistance-housing (hud), food stamps, even medical card.  Also, they have a department that if you qualify may be able to help you with deposits for utilities or apartment (PIP).  

    Most attorneys will except payments, so either way, if you are really serious about making a new start, take it from someone who knows (x2), and I am so much happier I did it and set my pride aside.

    Hang in there girl, you'll be okay.  Once you have proof of a legal separation you should qualify for financial assistance, but must have it in place.  Check with your school and his income may not count and you may then be eligible for assistance with school as well.  Keep your chin up and never give up.

  3. if you live in Seattle and both people agree, the divorce doesn't involve lawyers.

  4. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/yourl...

    I did mine myself, but I had her consent. You'll need his or else you'll have to get a lawyer. In your case, a Pro Bono lawyer.

  5. go to the court house and ask. they will have those answers. if you want a divorce then do all you can to get it, a second job, put school on hold. stop making excuses to hold on to someone for money. is he your father? take care of yourself. then work on each other. oh, and call you parents they would be glad to help you get out of this trouble your in.

  6. How to File For Divorce Without a Lawyer « Lance Winslow’s A...

    Feb 22, 2008 ... A uncontested divorce is a divorce that can be done without the aid of a lawyer if the couple involved agrees to the terms of the ...

    lancewinslow.wordpress.com/2008/02/22/... - 10k - Similar pages


  7. theres a legal library you have to find out where it is in your town all you have to do is pay for the paperwork things is that the two of you have to agree on the terms of the divorce and child custody

  8. Is there any legal aid where you live? Law schools will let students do that stuff for a fraction of the price.

    Terrible situation, so sorry for you....good luck

  9. Talk to someone else in the financial aid office. You have moved to your own apartment, so you and your husband are separated. Explain that to financial aid and tell them you are in the process of getting a divorce so your finances and your husband's should not be co-mingled. Then, call legal aid in your city and see if they can help you with a divorce.

    Also, call a center for victims of domestic abuse. Although you mention no physical abuse, you certainly have been a victim of emotional abuse. Maybe they can direct you as to getting a divorce from your estranged husband. Whatever you do, file your income tax return separately from your husband, remove all authorization for him to use your credit and co-sign no loans he might want to get regardless of what it's for.

    Of course, do not give him access to your apt. or your car. Change the locks if necessary and report your car as stolen if he "borrows" it without your approval. Your husband shows no respect or concern for you and he deserves none in return.  Good luck to you...

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