I want a divorce...please help.?

Question

I have been married for 8 years. For a long while, I have wanted to leave him, but I don't because we have children. 3 boys, two from his previous marriage and we have a seven year old together. I have told him that I wanted a divorce, and I just stay. I am now on anti-anxiety medication because I am so stressed out about everything. I am incredibly unhappy, and over the past month it has gotten really bad. He doesn't turn me on at all, I can't stand to be in the same room with him, be touched by him or even talk to him. Since I told him i wanted a divorce, he has been smothering me, and hovering. He will sit on the bed when i wake up and stare at me. It's to the point that suicidal thoughts have crossed my mind. I would never in my life do that because I love myself and I love my son. But it has popped in there as a "this is how badly I want out."

Here is the kicker. He is a wonderful man. The best father. Anyone would be incredibly lucky to have him. I feel I am even doing him a disservice just being here when i am so unhappy. He doesn't want a divorce, and I don't want to be married to him. What do I do?

Answer 1

I suggest that if you husband is not the one responsible why you're feeling this way, then you should meet a psychiatrist or a support group in order to articulate your feeling and explain to him why you want out of your marriage or why you are having suicidal thoughts. Also, both of you could meet a marriage counselor and talk things out without having to worry about each other's feeling. The best thing about marriage counseling is that it allows for open conversation where your feelings are real and vulnerable. Ultimately, it would help reveal the deep problems that may be eating you inside and those that have caused you to feel disgusted at him. Click on the link for more information about marriage counseling:

http://www.divorceguide.com/free-divorce-advice/marriage-and-separation-advice/can-marriage-counseling-save-your-marriage.html

The point here is that you need to express your feeling and make him understand why you do not want to be married to him anymore if you really feel strongly about divorcing him. At least give him the benefit to understand your situation before doing something rash.