I want a dog, and finally got mom to say yes...but...now I have doubts...SUGGESTIONS?

Question

I've asked my mom COUNTLESS numbers of times and gave her MANY hints and even did extra research on wanting to own a dog as if it was homework and I finally got her to say "yes, we can get a dog" after 5 years of begging for one. But now that she has said yes, I think she has said it at the wrong time of our life. In a couple of years I'm about to leave for college and doubt I'll be able to take the dog with me. My mom works all most all day and would just barely have time to care for the dog.

What should I do?! After 5 years of begging for a dog, should I tell her it's not a good idea? If so, how should I tell her without making her upset?

OR

Is there an alternative way I can find and continue finding the right dog for me without having to surrendering it to a shelter after I leave for college?

I should just stick to getting a cat and wait for a dog, shouldn't I? =___=; But still...how should I tell my mom how I feel...?

Answer 1

Of course don't get one! If you are seriously planning on tossing it away into a shelter, how could you possibly think that would be fair? If your mom works and you will be caring for it the most, there is no way you can have the dog when you leave. And you definitely won't be able to take it to college with you.

Sit her down, and tell her that if you get a dog, you are unsure of what will happen to it after you go to college. Come on, be mature about it. There is no special way of telling anyone anything. Your mom may be exciting about the dog now, but look at all the facts, you cannot have one at this time. Be honest, it is the only thing you need to do.

Or perhaps your mom plans on keeping it and arranging to have time for it since she brought it up at this time? No one can tell you, just talk to her.

You have the rest of your life to have dogs. It may be something you have waited a long time for, but what is more important, college or a dog? With college, you won't have time for a dog, so you will have to make sacrifices. After you graduate, you can get that dog :)

Answer 2

Bring your concerns up with your mom. If she is saying "yes" to pacify you, then you can tell her that you worry about the future of the dog. That actually shows a very grown up and responsible descision making process.

If she says that she would like to have a dog also, then look for a relaxed breed that does not require a lot of excercise. A dog will be just fine if left home for a few hours during work. It may also help ease your mom into not having you around. She will still have something that "needs" her. Trust me- it's hard on folks when their kids move out.

Answer 3

Awww, haha. I'm sorry you've received some negativity-- I guess it comes down to what sort of breed you were looking into. If you were going for some big ol' hunk of dog, maybe waiting until you've an apartment of your own would be for the best-- but anything small, like a terrier or corgie, or any toy-sized dog might be fine. (:

It's pretty obvious that if you've been asking for a dog for this long, and before getting it you're already worried about it's hypothetical-future-- you're gonna be a good owner. Don't be too worried about the details right off, okay? Dogs are a big responsibility, and you realize it-- that's what matters most. @ 3@!

Cats are cool, too, mind you. Get the right cat and it's like having a dog. I think in your case, I'd recommend going to a shelter-- looking at the dogs and cats. See what one stands out. Don't just get A dog, get an individual animal you like. (: Get your mom involved; if she agreed to get one, she'll be taking care of it, too. It's everyone's responsibility-- so finding a special little dog that you both adore could be pretty cool.

Another side of it is, if you're the only child-- having a dog to come home to while you're away at college might be nice for your mom, and it would probably be cool to get one now while you're both at home to enjoy it. (:

Answer 4

If you're rich enough to live in an apartment instead of a dorm, you might find a place that accepts pets but only very small ones (usually up to 10 or 15 lb.)  And then, with a busy social and study life, you wouldn't have time for a dog.  If you go to a local university and live at home, and if you got an already house trained dog, maybe it would work okay.  Again, keep the dog very small as you'll probably move out after college into an apartment which will only take tiny dogs, and only then if you're lucky and pay a pet deposit.  All in all, I dont think it's a good time for you to get a dog.  I think you should just tell your mom how you feel.  She'll be happy you made such a wise decision.  Cats need your time and attention, too.  Maybe stay petless for now.  

Answer 5

it sounds like you want something, then mom says ok and you don't want it anymore. sounds like you still have some growing up to do. wait until you can care for the dog, for the rest if the dogs life.that would be the best for the dog you decide to get, if you really wnat one.

Answer 6

Be honest.  I don't think now is a good time for you to get a dog if you are planning on leaving for school.  When you are done in college you will have plenty of time for a new pup.  It is nice to see that you have given this some thought not only for yourself but for the dog as well because they do require attention.  

If you really want to spend some time with dogs look up your local animal shelter, they will have volunteer programs for young people who are interested in helping out.  Not only will you get to spend time with some dogs who would love to have someone to play catch with and take them for walks but you will also have a nice addition to your college applications and work resume.

Answer 7

Don't get a dog if you would only surrender it to a shelter when you leave for college. That would be totally unfair to the dog. What you can do is foster a dog for the humane society or another dog welfare organization. Often, they have too many dogs and will have people provide foster care until the shelter has enough space again.

A neighbor of mine does this and she really enjoys it. The dog may be with you for a week or a few months but it helps the dog and the shelter out for that time. You might also get a better idea of what kind of dog you'd like to have when you are an adult and can permanently adopt one.

If fostering doesn't appeal to you, I would just tell your mom that you don't feel it would be fair to any dog to surrender it after only two years so you don't want to get one now.  

Answer 8

get a ferret!

Answer 9

Just be honest with her, talk to her about it. You'll probably find that she is impressed about how seriously you have thought about this and will be happy that you are so mature about it.

Answer 10

Well after begging your mom for 5 years it sounds like you really wanted one.  You still got a few years before college to worry about the dog.  I'm not dismissing your concern over putting the dog in a shelter, as I only condone a shelter as an absolute last resort.  However, being a few years away, you still have time to figure out other options.

Maybe it's best not to get a dog right away until you know you can take care of him long-term.  But use the next few months or so to really weigh out your options.  

Maybe the easiest would be to not go away to school???  I was the same way with my animals and didn't want to part with them, as well as the fact that my friends stayed local, and I didn't want to pay room and board, so I decided my best option would be to go to community school.  If you still have a few more years, now's the time to decide if you really do want to go away or not.  Have you visited any of the schools your looking at yet?? How about some of the local ones??  You can get just as good of an education and also save a lot of money going to a community school...

However, if you really have your heart set on going away, and you don't think you'll change your mind over the next couple years, maybe start talking to your friends and other people you know about anyone who might be willing to take him in if you cannot properly take care of him.

Talk to your mom.  Let her know the same thing you told us.  Tell her I know I begged and begged, and I really do want one, but now that I'm older and more mature, and started thinking about it, when I go away, we need to come up with a few options.  see if she has any suggestions....  also you didn't mention your father at all....  Sorry if I brought up a touchy subject or anything, but if you do have contact with him and on good terms is it possible to keep the dog at his house???  

Bottom line is I would def. get the dog, as it sounds like you really do want it.  but before you do come up with a plan.  good luck and im sure you'll figure something out.