I want a dog, but my boyfriend (Mark) said they are a lot of work & that w/ ?

Question

me living alone in Dallas (high crime), a dog wanting to go out in the middle of the night is a bad idea. I'm currently not working (student) & live in a condo w/ just a patio. I haven't had a dog since I was little & don't understand how a dog can be so much work if I get a young adult that is potty trained. Mark said that it's trouble when we go out of town on who will keep it. I have allergies & would want a dog that doesn't shed a lot too. He also said that if I insist on getting a dog & it wants to go out at night, to let him go on the patio if I don't mind cleaning up p**p off of concrete. I'm not an active person, but will walk the dog for exercise.

Mark and I have a weird relationship. We've been dating for nine years, act married, but neither of us wants to get married. He pays for things and I live in his condo while I go to school. That's why his feelings and input matters.

1. Please tell me what you think.

2. If a dog is a good idea, what kind? Maltese, Collie, etc.

3. Will a dog get confused if you let it go on the patio at night & for a walk during the day?

4. How do I know I'm getting a healthy dog if I'm buying it from an individual or adopting it from the SPCA?

5. Is it expensive to put a dog up in boarding when we go on vacation?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

Answer 1

ok. well first off. dogs are not hard to work with and to have. it all depends on what kind of dog you are going for. if your have allergies, it is best to get a hypo allergenic dog such a bichon frise. they do not shed, they are small to take places, and they are not hyper dogs. now about the patio. if you dont want to pick up p**p off the concrete, simply put down newspaper. the dog will not get confuse between the patio and outside. dogs are very smart and can sense that things are different. they may prefer on better then the other. the part about getting a healthy dog is another problem. in order to know that you are getting a good puppy, make sure that you have inspected where it is comming from, the food supplies that are giving to the dog, the way the owner acts, and the surroundings and environment that the dog is in. another way is to get them from a dog shelter. here they take care of animals and meake sure they get their proper medications. DO NOT get them from a store! dogs stores sometimes get their dogs from puppy mills which are VERY bad.  now for your vacation, it may be expensive to have your dog watched. thebest way would to have someone close and someone that you trust as if they were taking care of your child. it has to be someone that the dog will get along with and feel comfortable with. and thats basically it. so if you get a dog, just give it all the luvs you got :]  

Answer 2

I love dogs and believe that most people should have one but if I were you, I'd wait til your life is more settled and less stressful.  Wait til you are out of school and have a job and a set schedule and more $$$ to take care of a dog with.  He's right about the going out of town part,  It costs around $30 a day to board a dog plus all the vet bills and vaccinations. Don't tie yourself down now, you're so young.  Wait for stability and it'll be better for you and the future doggie.  Good luck!!!!

Answer 3

1.

Dogs are ALOT of work.  I finally talked my boyfriend into letting me get one in January.  I now have 2 since he fell in love with the first one and wants to keep her while I'm at school.  If you're looking to adopt an older dog (which is great!) you'll have so many options.  There are many great adult dogs in shelters and most come with some basic training PLUS house training.  

2.

I think you have 2 options here.  How bad are your allergies?  If you can handle a dog, then that really broadens your options.  All dogs shed (regardless of what mutt-makers say) and can make your allergies flare up.  So to the point -- You can get a smaller dog that is paper trained or you can get a larger dog that can hold its bladder.

The options are pretty endless.  If you're willing to put in time to train and learn how to handle it, I know there are may pitbulls in that area looking for adoption.  Maybe a pitbull mix would be right for you?  Maybe you'd rather have a smaller dog like a Maltese mix?  It's really up to you.  Keep in mind you'll need to do research (yay internet!) and be prepared to go to some training classes.

3.

Most dogs can hold it through the night and wont need to go out until the morning.  I have a 3 month old puppy that can hold it through the night no problems.  So, don't even bother with the whole patio thing, it's kinda gross :)

4.

You can get an equally healthy dog from either the SPCA or an individual.  However, buying from a breeder takes a ton of research.  There are so many bad breeders out there that are just looking to make a profit and don't really care about you or the dog they sell you.  I think your best option is the SPCA.  They keep their dogs UTD on shots and come desexed.  They will also be cheaper and have been tested for certain situations (good with kids, cats, other dogs etc.).

5.

Some places are pretty expensive, while some are not.  Do some calling around and see what you can find.  Do you have relatives or friends you could leave the dog with and pay them $50 for watching the dog?  That's what we usually do (and being broke college students, my friends almost LOVE watching the dog for beer and pizza!).  

Something else you may want to consider:

Does your boyfriend own or rent the condo?  Some places have breed restrictions (no bully breeds etc.) and some don't even allow pets.  Just a thought.

Also, large dogs do just fine in apartments if you're willing to walk them.  

Feel free to email me if you have any questions :)

Hope I helped!

Add:  They also make little grass pads that you can buy for the patio for your dogs to use.  They are kind of pricey though ($300+).  Just another option for you :)

Answer 4

um, well, your boyfriend is an equal part of the relationship right? Respect his feelings....

Dogs are a lot of work! Expensive, and are NOT something to take lightly.....

You need to do some research.... Go to a vets office, ask how much boarding is,....ask how much a visit itself costs, plus yearly shots, heartworm, ......It ADDS UP!!!!

My suggestion...Don't get a dog....You are allergic....dogs shed, focus on school, get done with that....then look into extending the family

Answer 5

Your situation is odd.

1) You say that Mark is concerned because you live alone

2) But you live in his condo

3) Where does he live? (not with you since you live alone??)

4) Is your boyfriend of nine years already married to someone else?

Why add a dog to a screwed up situation? Why don't you graduate from school, get a job, get your own place, and then get a dog. Dogs are super, but also expensive.

Then again, if you want a dog, and Mark pays your bills, then by gosh tell him you want a dog. Let Mr. Moneybags buy you one and don't worry about the cost!!  

Answer 6

1. I think you should get a dog if you want one. Their not that much hard work, most of them are content just to be near you. A dog won't wake you up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, they'll normally hold it until the morning when you let them out. At least thats what my dogs do. If you get one you should go through a daily routine. Let the dog out when you wake up, let him out again in the afternoon if you can, let him out again at night. Three times a day should be enough for the bathroom. As for food, a constant supply is what I find works best, but you can feed him at certain times in the day. As for the bathroom problem your afraid you'll face with your dog, there is a simple answer. If you have at least a small patch of dirt {with grass is the best}, you won't have to clean up the dog p**p because it will become new soil after a little while. Put a strong post deep into the ground, and tie a long rope securely to it. Tie your dog to the post and let him out, that should work at night and during the day to keep him from running away. Make sure to watch him while he is outside, even if he is on the rope.

2. Labradors are best, they don't shed much and have short fur. After a while with the dog you should start building up an immune system to that particular animal. If you have problems with your allergies you can take some medicine until your used to the dog.

3. No, dogs are quite smart and won't get confused if you let it out on the patio at night, and take it for walks. If your planning on taking it for a walk make sure you take it all around the neighborhood so it can get used to its new home.

4. Take the animal to the vet.

5. I've never used boarding when I go on trips with out my dogs. I usually leave my dogs at home or at a friends house. You should be able to get a friend to come over and let the dog out for a bathroom break, feed it and give it water once every day. Trustworthy neighbors are the best choice.

Answer 7

Dogs are a lot of work and responsibility. Dogs adapt to their surroundings. He can be litter box trained. Sounds like your bf of 9 yrs may not want the responsibility of caring for a companion and putting its needs above his own. I am talking about the dog. Sounds like you have another parent.  

Answer 8

Yes, a dog is a lot of work AND responsibility.  It takes money for vet care and then there are the emergencies.  To just get started you should have about $600 to $800.  It's about $200 to adopt from a shelter, then you need supplies (beds, leash, collar, food, food bowls, toys, grooming supplies, etc) - that's about another $150 to $200.  Then you have vaccinations, spay/neuter, heartworm preventative, deworming and obedience class - about another $300.  Then you should have about $2000 put away in an emergency fund.  It isn't cheap!

I would suggest investing in an alarm system and pepper spray instead.

Answer 9

I couldnt stand dating someone that wouldnt let me have a pet, i suggest a loyal breed like a german shepherd or a labrador but they both shed, some that dont shed are chiuauaus or pugs, but there smaller, and if you want to travel most of the time boards not to bad or maybe you could have a neighbor take care of it, theyre not really expensive if you take care of them properly, yearly shots, cost up to $25 a year, and a 50lb bag of food can last one dong up to a month depending on the breed, they need lots of love and excersise tho, hope this helps

Answer 10

It sounds like the guy that pays all the bills doesn't really want a dog.

Answer 11

I understand wanting a dog even if conditions don't agree. Yes, dogs are a Lot of work. There's no leaving on a whim for a weekend vacation if you plan to stay in a hotel or if you're not going to go somewhere your dog is welcome. You also need to take age into MAJOR consideration. 1 year isn't adult. As an example, German shepherds aren't fully matured until ~2.5, that means you'll have a full-grown 75lb (on the small side) bounding 'puppy' for a year and a half. You seem to have plenty of strikes on your side already (1- allergic 2- husband doesn't want one 3- student and other housemate works 4- in condo 5- wouldn't be willing to let it be trained properly because of crime rate, etc) but some things you definitely need to consider.

You haven't had a dog since you were little- meaning you haven't had that responsibility *ever*.

A dog is a lifetime (of the dog) commitment. It's at LEAST a 10 year commitment. Do you know where you'll be 10 years from now? Will you have children? Will you have a house? Will you have moved? If so, to where? Are you prepared to be checking breed/size/age restrictions everywhere you go? Checking all the laws on top of everything else? Yearly examinations and shots and more as they get older aren't cheap either.  Older dogs have more health problems, eventually most aged dogs (some more aged than others) end up with cancer, are you prepared to make the decision on what to do with it? Will you be able to financially support either decision?

Okay well let's go with the route that says you are getting a dog-

first and foremost

What temperament?

Then, what size?

What attributes? (ie guardian, protector, lapdog, independent, catlike)

unless you're incredibly active, you don't want to pick a dog that is as active as you. You will have those days where you just don't want to go for a walk and you don't want the dog becoming destructive because it's bored.

As far as boredom goes, What are you going to do when you're both gone? How many hours a day are you gone? If you choose not to kennel when you're gone are you prepared to have a torn apart house? If you choose to kennel and it's got separation anxiety (as many shelter dogs get once they find their 'person') are you prepared for a dog that howls and causes the neighbors to report you?

When it comes to allergies you need to test and see how bad your allergies are- no dog is truly hypoallergenic. Some don't have the double coats and some don't shed as much. So you've got to find a dog that matches your allergies and then temperament. If you go for a puppy, you're almost sure to be allergic because of the puppy dander.

If you're unsure about many of these things, think about fostering for a rescue agency and if you find one that works, great you can adopt it, if not, you are at least a positive impact in the dog's life. You'll be able to test out different breeds. Also you can go to rescues and spend time with the dogs, if you go to a shelter you can spend half an hour with the dog and you'll be able to see how your allergies react. If it's not bad, talk to your doctor about possible allergy meds. dogbreedinfo.com has a breed selector test and remember to be completely honest even if it is harsh (ie about the amount of time you'll REALLY spend brushing or walking) because it's the dog's life you'll have in your hands.

hope this helped a bit!

Edit: a response to the person that said labs are best- no, no they are not. There is no "best" dog. Labs, if well trained, are great dogs, if not, they're 60-80lbs of pure destruction.

Also how to tell if they're healthy - once you find a breed either check for a reputable breeder (note: this will be expensive) and they're dogs will be healthy, if you find one from a shelter go for clean/clear eyes, sound body and sound temperament. If it's wary around passerbys, you probably don't want it because you're needing more ease than work right now, if you were experienced that would be a different situation all together. So healthy - clear eyes, pink gums, good weight, sound body, friendly temperament. Do NOT go to a pet store. That supports puppy mills and backyard breeders. If you go for a dog from a shelter it will have its shots and most likely be microchipped. If it is, make SURE you update the microchip (out of date microchip info is worse than an out of date id tag). You never want to keep your dog tied up (if you were to get a yard) because if they pull to much and inhale too much dust (from the dirt that is going to come from having them on a chain on grass) they can get respiratory infections and are vulnerable to other dogs. If you don't think the dog can hold their bladder all night, try kenneling them in a kennel only big enough for them to get up, turn around and lay back down in. A natural response for dogs in kennels is that they're in their cave. They don't soil their cave. This is also the fastest and easiest way to housetrain them. Make sure they also have good 'busy' toys that keep their mind activated and them occupied. Kongs are good for that. As far as boarding goes, I've found that boarding at your vet's is usually cheaper than anywhere. My vet charges $10/night but that's very unusual. Most are at least $20. You can find doggy day cares for when you're gone during the day as well that will also take them for vacation periods. Make sure you research those too. (you don't want to find one with adverse training if they'll be doing any training) Those can be up to $200/night (with their own tv, window, outside kennel and pool time as well as a camera to keep you connected).

Also make sure to see if you want to do training yourself (not a good idea for first time owners) or where you want to go for guidance. (Boarding/training facilities aren't a great idea because they learn with THAT person, not with you.) Remember when it comes to the amount of training, you get exactly what you put into it and that EVERYTHING is training. If you pet them every time you come home as soon as you come through the door, they learn that they get pet every time, so if you come home and don't want to pet them, they can act up. If you're not consistent with obedience, ie if you let them up on the couch when they want to be and then also when you want them to be but during the big game they get up on it, you can't rightfully get upset because you told them that it was ok. Both you and Mark must be consistent. If you let the dog on the couch and he doesn't the dog won't have any idea what to do when you're both on the couch or both home. If 'sit' means sit for the first few weeks and you MAKE them sit and they have to sit until you say it's okay, but after a while if they sit when you ask them too but they get to get up when they want (like if you were going to tell them they could get up then anyway but didn't give them the command) then they lose that sit means "sit now and sit until i say otherwise". Also things like "good dog" make sure you don't use that as a free command. If your dog sits when you want it to and then you say "good dog" and it gets excited and gets up and you don't correct it Every Time it's going to take "good dog" as a "free" command. So if it gets up after you say good and you think that it knows better, you're wrong. You've taught it that it's okay. "No" is an iffy training word because it may mean 'quit that' or it may mean 'get down' or it may mean 'leave'. Use alternatives if they're sniffing something you don't want them to sniff, use something like "leave it", if you want them to get down from the couch use "off" (since "down" will already be associated with laying) and things like "leave" for my dogs I use "out" if they're in a room I don't want them in, or "go lay down" to do that, or "get in your dog house" or "go for a ride" and they key in at "go" but still listen to the rest. Once again, EVERY action is training. It's either reinforcing good behavior or reinforcing bad behavior. If your dog is great when you get it and listens and then a year down the road is a living terror, you have nothing and no one to blame but yourself.

So yes. A dog is A LOT of work. A lot of love, but a LOT of work.

Answer 12

uhm,

well in my personal opinion i would recommend a poodle.

they don't shed , friendly, and the smartest dogs so you could likely teach it to go to the washroom or hold. plus most dogs don't bark to go out and if trained good will wait til morning. i would adopt a dog also,

because if you don't want a puppy, there are millions of dogs waiting for adoption that are older and comer that maybe get looked by.

plus if you don't like to excerise poodles come in different sizes and colours so that you could find one to match your energy level.

there are also many breed rescue groups to look at and petfinder is good too. Also if you can't aford a kennel to board it at you can also take it with you , alot of hotls alow pets now a days.

hope i helped a bit.