I want a dog, my husband doesn't... who is correct?

Question

We have 2 dogs already, no kids. I take care of these dogs all by myself. My entire life I have wanted a bulldog but was against paying so much money for one when I could adopt a dog who needs a home. A friend of a friend is a breeder and has a litter of bulldogs they can't sell and are willing to give me one for free. I called my husband super excited and he said absolutely no way in heck are we getting another dog. It made me very sad because he knows I have always wanted a bulldog and it also made me feel like I was a child asking my parents for a dog. I am an adult and I take care of the ones we have just fine. My question is... what is his problem???

Also one of the dogs we do have is very old and doesn't have much time left.

Answer 1

Get the dog, it will slowly start to grow on him. I did it.

Answer 2

Well, think about this.  My husband got a puppy that I didn't want and unfortunately I am the one stuck taking care of it during the week (as my husband works out of town).  I really am resenting the puppy and my husband as I feel that he doesn't care how I feel.  

Maybe once your older dog dies, your husband will be more agreeable to getting another dog, but until then don't force him to accept a dog if he has stated he does not want another one.  And regardless of if you are the one who takes care of them, your husband still lives in the house as well and animals affect everyone who lives in the home.

Answer 3

You are of course!

Tell him you want a baby instead then, he'll quickly change his tune.

Now go get that dog!

Answer 4

Two dogs are enough.  once your older dog passes then and only then you could get a bulldog.

Answer 5

Listen, this decision is one both need to make, equally. You can´t expect him to say yes to everything you want, and I udnerstand you wanting this dog really badly. But you already have two dogs! You already have what you want! Having a third one would be too much for him to take, although he´s agreed with having two, which is  a lot for a husband who doesn´t like dogs.

Who´s right here, no one because there is no right or wrong answer to this one. The thing is, whatever you bring in the house needs to be talked through and agreed on. Otherwise, it´ll be a pain for one of you.

How about you discuss this calmly and give him all the good points of having this dog. Maybe he´ll change his mind knowing one of the two dogs will unfortunately die soon. But only talking will you solve this.

Answer 6

This isn't about who is right or who is wrong and if that is how you approach it, you are setting up battle with your husband. I strongly advise you don't do that because in the fight, you will lose sight of what it is you want from this new dog in the first place...

I think you want joy, companionship, fulfillment. Do you want these things or do you want to be right?

If you want these things and a new pet will give them to you, go to your husband and "ask" - don't "demand", just "ask". Big difference. Ask him to indulge you and give him your reasons why this means so much to you.

Realize that by forcing this dog on your husband (thru argument and winning), unlike your other 2 dogs it will not be "our dog". It will be "her dog". Without his willing agreement, it will not be "his dog". Is this what you want to set up?

This is why I advise you to ask, not demand.

He might say yes and he might say no, but until there is enthusiastic agreement between you on anything that changes your life or lifestyle, you need to respect "no, we won't do it until we both are sure we want it" as the default. Does this make sense to you? It is about respect for each other.

It may be that your husband is not ready for a new dog just yet and you may have to pass up a free dog and pay for one later. You need to be willing to do that because if you make getting a free dog the priority, you are reacting instead of acting out of deliberate choice. Sometimes when something is available for a limited time only and we feel rushed to take advantage of the opportunity we don't see the full cost of the "freebie".

Answer 7

Wish I could help you, did he give you a solid reason why?  

Answer 8

He probably does not think you do a good job taking care of the ones you have....could he bring home a snake or a pet spider?

No.... just wait until he says yes;-)

Answer 9

Since you're the one who takes care of the dogs by yourself, i don't see why he wouldnt let you.

Answer 10

Neither one of you are correct and yet both of you are correct. It's all about perception. You need to make him see your view and it's not done through wining or crying. write all of the pros on side of the paper, then write all of the cons on the other side of the paper. Have him do the same. now sit down and discuss the topic in a rational, calm manner looking at all of the pros and cons listen to his side and then counter him with how you can correct his cons. just because he says no now doesn't mean you can't bring him over to your side.

  

Answer 11

You don't need anymore dogs. Your husband is correct.

Answer 12

Sorry, i have to side with ur hubby. yes you are an adult, but marriage is compromise. he is putting up with ur two dogs..his compromise, you not getting a 3rd is your compromise. your hubby should have a say cause he has to live with them too even if he doesnt take care of them.

maybe if your one dog isnt around long (sorry, i love pets, i know its painful) but maybe ur hubby will go for the bulldog afterward wen u have one dog left. you still have a long life...maybe u can get a bulldog later on.

Answer 13

Well, he's the boss...

Answer 14

Sounds like you allready have a bull dog.

Just remember he might wear the pants but you control the zipper.

good luck

Answer 15

Hi,

Well when you say you take care of these dogs,  do you mean you pay for their food and vet bills as well? Or does that fall on your husband?

it could be that he is concerned about vet cost, shots ,spay, food etc.

Or  that it might be crowded in your house with 3 dogs.

Trust me you think one more dog wont make a difference but it does. We added a little stray and we upset the whole balance  and the other two dogs.

Talk to your husband and ask him his reasons for not wanting another dog.

Its not a matter of who is right or wrong, marriage is a compromise.

You might be able to get your dog and he gets something he wants, the new drill or a car part or whatever.

here on some tips:

http://www.watchtower.org/e/19990715a/ar...

Answer 16

Hubby's wishes would be more important to me than another dog... I LOVE my dog & wouldn't give him up for the world, but I'd still choose a harmonious marriage over another pet...    

Answer 17

do what you what to, your taking care of them you have no children and a free bull dog...come on, those dogs cost $1500. Your an adult and you need to do what you want to.  

Answer 18

It may be "Free" but it will not be "Free" once you start paying for the Vet, Food, etc.etc. etc. This is what your husband is thinking about. The "Expenses".  

Answer 19

Ahh, what the h**l put him down as well  

Answer 20

ur husband is being very unreasonable and not compassionate towards u. i think hes very mean when he knows how much u have wanted one and how excited u r about this opportunity. there is no reason why u shouldnt be able to get one as u already have dogs and u are the one who takes care of them. u dont want him to be resentful of the dog though, so i think u should talk to him about it again in a calm way and explain how much it would mean to u. i think he said no impulsively. give him a chance to change his mind without losing any dignity over it so u him and the dogs can live happily ever after :)