I want another baby, but hubby is definetly done!?

Question

We just had a baby, about 2.5 months ago, and when we started trying for her, my husband said that he was done after one more.

He says that even though she is a good baby, he is exhausted from the demands of newborn life, and so he really can't see having any more kids.

He wants to get a vasectomy just to seal the deal. I however feel completely different, and would really like just one more.

I am not sure what to do, I feel like I will be unhappy forever if I know that there is absolutely no chance of having another baby. When I talk to him about it, he tells me that if we have an "accident" then he will feel like he wouldn't care as much about the child as he does for our current children, and so it wouldn't be fair to them.

Answer 1

Why not just find another man to be the father?

It's a simple solution.  Duh.

Answer 2

Your husband is just adjusting to life with a newborn again;  you also should be enjoying this time as well. Some people just know when they are done and if your husband is done having children then you need torespect his decision; you can't force someone into having a child its just not fair. You never know he may change the way he feels in a couple of years but if you keep pushing the issue he is going to be more reluctant to have another child.

Answer 3

I would say counseling for this one.   Obviously there is something going on in your life where you feel your happiness is dependent on having children and obviously he is feeling overwhelmed.   You both are feeling very strongly about this issue but unfortunately the feelings are going in the opposite direction.   Counseling can help you work through the issue, find common ground, and see things from each other's point of view.   You might find that you could be happy with just the children you have and that there may be some aspects of no more children that turn out to be very appealing (once you work through your issues of course) and he may find that he'd like to have more children after all (after he works through his issues).  Good luck.

Answer 4

request that he puts off the vasectemy for a while and use extra precautions so as not to have an accident. that would give him time to get through the infant stages and if he still feels the same then you probably won't change his mind. set a date like the babies first or second b-day to give you both plenty of time to think it through .

Answer 5

I would say give it more time. Those first few months ARE hectic, especially if it's your first. He's probably overwhelmed with all the demands of a baby, which is normal. Sit down and talk to him, ask him to give it another 3-4 months and see how he feels then.