I want another baby so bad it hurts?

Question

I have this over whelming urge to have another child. So much so that it depresses me not to have more kids. I have 4 children now ages 10-1yr. My husband thinks I am crazy and obviously i can not have a baby without him agreeing(unless i trick him which i can not do). He thinks 4 kids is enough. He worries that the more kids we have the less love the others will feel like they are getting. My urge is so strong i even dream about it. Last night I even saw my mom holding two babies wrapped in pink to me(my mom died when i was a teenager). I am crying myself to sleep and it hurts me so much. Long ago my husband and i agreed on 6 kids and i feel like 6 is my number. AM I insane? I am 29 so i could have time. Should I just wait and hope my husband changes his mind?

Answer 1

I'm sorry :(  Its has to be really tough to have the baby itch and not have your hubby on board!  All you really can do is give it time and hope he comes around.  Maybe as your youngest gets older he will start desiring another baby too!

Answer 2

Maybe you should go see a therapist. It sounds like you really need it.

Answer 3

You are not insane.  The desire to have another baby is a god-given urge and it does hurt when the desire is there, but the ability is not-- whether you husband is refusing for the time being, you have infertility, or you are single.  I have been there, crying into my pillow every night, night after night.  The desire some women feel to have children is one of the strongest desires to be dealt with in life.  I would definitely wait and hope your husband changes his mind.  To give you hope, my husband changed his.  Depression isn't good though and you don't want that change of mind to come from your husband's guilt.  Focus on the four children you have intensely, show that they are the joy of your life and that the only way you could be any happier is to have one or two more.  God Bless!  

Answer 4

just try talking to him, maybe if you explain everything, he might be more willing. or maybe you should wait a while and have more later. You can still have more children later on. Love the ones you have for now until the idea grows on your husband.

Answer 5

this is a dilemma!

if you continue pursuing your goal, you'd be dis-respecting your husband's point of view, if you cease pursuing your goal (if it's possible), you'd be dis-respecting your own feeling.

i think that you'll need some couselling over this one!

Answer 6

Awh, honey I'm so sorry you feel this way.

I know how badly it hurts to want a baby that much.

I know you appreciate and love your 4 children, but I hope you appreciate them even more when I tell you that I'm in my early twenties and have been trying to have just ONE baby for years and years with no luck.

I too go to sleep at night with visions of a baby who doesn't even close to exist yet, crying my eyes out at the thought of never having one.

I would give absolutely anything to have a baby, and I know how frustrating and hurtful it can be to want something SO, so badly and not be able to get it.

Maybe sit down and relay these feelings to your husband, and try to articulate to him your want and need for another baby. Everything you've put in your question, repreat to him and try to get him to understand why it's so important, and how a woman's biological urge for babies won't just go away.

:(

Ask him why he's changed his mind about the original 6 children you agreed upon.

Maybe try to compromise with him and say instead of 6 children, you'll settle for 5? If you're willing to do that, that is.

Just communicate with him and try to get your opinion across as best you can.

I know you must be going through a rough time here with this,

but for now, just love & enjoy your other children and work on convincing your husband that a 5th baby would add to your family life.

I hope everything works out for the best and you end up with another son or daughter in the near future.

Just hang in there, sweetie.

:)

Answer 7

I am so sorry, i feel the same way, we always talked about 6 or more...now that he has had 1 he is questioning more!! 1!!! can you believe it?  I need more children, and YOU know that you will love them all the same, unconditionally.  The more children, the more love, they too will be loved by the baby one day.  You need to let him see how much this is hurting you and bothering you.  You are still young so waiting it out might work, maybe after a while he'll see that it would be a great thing for you and your family.

Answer 8

I symapthise with you a bit. We had been trying for 2 years to get pregnant and every month felt like a let down when we wern't pregnant. Talk to your husband about how your feeling. Don't keep it in. If he isn't listening or you need to talk to someone else try a counselor. Have your husband go with to talk with the counselor. Maybe there is something else on his mind bugging him he can't express to you. Just don't keep your feelings to yourself.