I want him to get limited or supervised visitation?

Question

When my husband and I started dating his son was still an infant. He kicked his ex girfriend out finally because she was abusive. Punching him in the faace over and over until he bled from his eyes and one night it was so bad he almost died. She was really bad with cocaine, crack and smoking weed so he just said this is not the environment our son needs and I honestly don't even love you enough to make something like this work. Unfortunately for me this situation did not get any better. In the last almost 4 years I have had to deal with her being homeless, finding her a place to stay, making sure that I tucked in her son every night and told him that I loved him and mommy loved him too just so he wouldn't wonder why mommy hadn't called or came to get him in three weeks, I've delt with her crazy screaming fights over my husband trying to look out for the best interests of his child. She is honestly completely insane and has many many many mental problems. She has a very long history of abuse with her family and witnessed her father kill her mother so it's understandable that she would be a little off balance, but I have taken up her slack and raised her child to what he is. We have custody and when she is stable enough we trade him off every other week so she gets him an equal time, but she is barely ever stable enough to do this. She just called today to get him for the weekend because she said she just got a new apartment. This will be her 6th home in 4 months and it's beginning to confuse my step son. He will go by his old homes and think she still lives there and want to see her, or go to her old jobs and think she still works there and cry until we go in so he can see she isn't there. She hasn't been able to keep a steady living environment because she is hooked on drugs so bad she can't keep a job. She is about to probably go to jail for shopliffting fromher last job. She says she doesn't do drugs around her son and that when she has him he is safe and happy. I honestly don't believe it. i have had to buy groceries for her before because she couldn't feed him. Or go out and buy clothes for him just so she would have something for him to wear. I'm just honestly getting tired of it all. my husband wants his son to have his mother because he never really had his and mine was absent for a very long time. but this environment is not good for him at all. I want my husband to make it so she has to have special visitation rights until we know that she is stable enough to care for him and I'm not sure how to go about saying this to him. He's afraid she will take off with his son and honestly he is probably right and she would try. I just am at a loss as to what to do.

Answer 1

get a really good attorney

Answer 2

get yourselves a good lawyer and give your honey a smack upside the head.  I wouldn't want this woman anywhere near this child unless she could prove she was clean and sober.  She was abusive and a drug addict, she is unstable and can't provide an atmosphere where the child will be safe.  Just because the psycho calls herself "Mom" doesn't mean she deserves to be in the child's life--until you end your relationship with his dad and/or until his mother has been straight for 5 years then you should be the only mother figure in this child's life.

Good Luck with that.

Answer 3

There is no need to be calling this woman names.Regardless of everything, she IS the child's birth mother, and the key thing is what is in the best interest of the child, and yes, he has every right to have her in his life, and she be a part of his.She is under the strong bondage of drug addiction, she needs help, but it does not mean that she does not want her child in her life, and he be a part of hers. You should tell him that his mother truly does love him and wants the best for him, although right now she is dealing with a form of sickness and can't provide the safe,loving, nurturing healthy environment that he needs right now. I would encourage visits, supervised visit right now, and probably not in her home, and of course no overnight visits right now, you should pray for her healing and deliverance, where we as people do not forgive or find the worst in people, God/Jesus does forgives, and finds the good in people as well. I think you are doing a wonderful job as a mother and I can tell you truly do love and care for your stepson and want the best for him. If he does not have the contact he needs from his mother right now, I guarantee when he get older(not too much older) he will find a way to do so then.So I encourage you to say only positive things.

Answer 4

too much drama...go to court and have your hubby file for full cuztody and ask mom to give up her rights...drugs are more important