I want kids by my husband but?

Question

I have been with my husband for four years. We have been married for 6 months. We both have good jobs, he is in the military and I work in health care. He is always overseas and I am constantly working. I really want kids and he says that we will have some eventually. I am so fed up that he is overseas all the time. I was with him before he joined the army. Even though he is in the army he still should not neglect me, his wife. He is in Italy right now, while he is seeing the world all I am doing is working, working, working. He is supposed to be re-enlisting in a few months. He said he would only re-enlist if he could be closer to home. He said that I could move on base with him, which I am going to do, but I feel so empty because I don't have any kids. I am not in a real big hurry I just want him to be serious when he said he wanted kids. I married him because I love him and because he said he wanted kids too. I love children so much that I would at least like to have one of my own. What should I do? I only work so much because I need to stay busy.

Answer 1

Keep working, have the kids if you really want to, be patient, wait.  He won't be doing this forever, and if you throw away your marriage because he isn't home enough, you will regret it.  Trust me on this one, I dumped a military man and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done.

Answer 2

Sometimes women get such strong urges to nest they consider finding a new partner if he does not feel the same way.

I would wait until you move on base and see if you feel differently. If he says he wants kids then believe him and wait until his military time is over,until then like I said see if living on base helps so you wont be lonely. I know you wouldn't want to sit home with your new born baby while your husband is away. Thats something you want to share!

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Men tend to stress over getting committed to a routined life that daddies do.  That is natural and not a personalty flaw.  Don't push the issue :-) .  He knows how you feel and that you want closure on this open issue.  pressuring him for an answer now before you two get settled into his next job, where it is, where you two will live, and begin planning for the next stage of your lives will not help you have kids.  

If you were to get pregnant you need your best friend by your side for comfort, and all the things you won't be able to do by yourself.  And when the due date gets close the need for all thins gets worse.  If you run into complications during your pregnancy you will need him there.

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If he re-ups, then ultimately the Army will tell him where to go if they deem it essential.  He may get stationed at Ft. Hood Texas, and end up serving in the Brigade that ships out  if there is a critical need for "boots on the ground".

Answer 4

Sounds like you want to have a baby because you're lonely & he wants to wait it out so he can be an active parent.  When you move on base, you may make friends with other people & this can cure your loneliness.  Also, consider maybe taking up babysitting in your spare time (if you can find any between work).

Answer 5

talk to your husband. this is something you and he should discuss not with a bunch of strangers on yahoo answers. good luck. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 6

if you have them keep them.

Answer 7

I completely understand you want kids because you feel lonely and neglected by your husband.  Trust me, though, having them when he's not around to help will make you resent him far more than you ever do now.  If you don't have help to change diapers, cope with night feeds, teething, earaches, illnesses, etc, you will grow to absolutely hate him.  I resented my husband terribly for working extra shifts when our daughter was sick.  He thought of the long term benefits for our family, but I was just overtired, and felt so alone taking responsibility for her.  You need to talk to your husband about how his career impacts on you.  You are a team now, and your needs are equally important.  In the short term, get a pet to at least give you companionship while you wait for him to come back!