I want more freedom. Talking to my mom?

Question

I'm 14 years old, turning 15 in January. I'm entering as a freshmen in high school. My mom seems so strict to the thought of me hanging out with guys, or me hanging out with people at all. She was raised in a strict household where she was home all day, and she is applying that to me. I asked to speak with her today at the lake.

I want to explain to her, that I want to have some fun this summer. And when I hang out with the people I do, all we basically do is just walk around, talk, chill. And I'm thinking of explaining what I do when I hang out with my girlfriends, is the same process when I hang out with dudes.

Like today, two of my guy friends (one that i like) barged into my house. And it was fine, but she called them disrespectful, and she called them hooligans. And she seems so suspicious these days.

I'm a pretty responsible girl, and I would just like to be able to leave my house sometimes, and just HANG OUT with people.

So at the lake, what do I say so she won't get easily offended, or mad, or defensive, or angry? I really want to hang out with themm.

Ideas? Tips? Thanks.

Answer 1

Tell her that people your age hung out in groups with both genders and if she won't allow you to hang out with guys and girls together she is preventing you from having any friends at all. Ask her if that is what she wants. Do be respectful and calm, just state the facts. Also the above poster that suggested you talk to your friends is right. Make sure your friends meet the same basic standards of courtesy that your parents expect from you.

Answer 2

Parents know more about their children than you can possibly imagine. If you were driving down a road and you couldn't see where you were going, would you IGNORE the advice of someone who had been there just because you didn't like the WAY they gave out the instructions?

Answer 3

well taking in your age and you mother's past. i would say that group hanging out with a mix of both girls and guys would probably be a good start. i do agree with your mom that barging into someone's home uninvited is disrespectful. you need to start the conversation with the fact that you love her and respect her. that you just want to be a normal teenager and that hanging out with a mixed group properly chaperoned (like friends parents are home) is normal for a girl your age. if you don't start getting these concepts now it will be much harder for you to get it when you are over 18 because you will be behind and that can be dangerous because you might not be able to readily tell the good guys from the bad. you need this time in your life where there are people like your mom and your friends to be there for you. not holding you back. i hope you and your mom come to some kind of compromise that works for both of you. compromising is key. good luck.  

Answer 4

OMG!!

my mom is the same way too!!but my stepdad is worse!!

but when you try and talk to her, try to be as calm as u can, bcuz you dont want this to end up as an arguement right??

but yeah, just tell her, that you are growing up, and u understand taht shes trying to be a good mom, but u just need to go out with ur friends sometimes..its okay to let you out with ur friends, tell her to trust u...n tell her u have some good judgements...

the more shes doing that to you, the more shes ruining you and making you to be a rebel..just try and convince her that you are growing up..and suggest a curfew time for yourself..just to make sure that they know when u'll be coming home...just dont go over ur curfew..lol..

hope tht helps!

Answer 5

First, speak to your friends.  They don't need to barge in your house.  They should show respect towards your mom and have good manners.  That would help her not think they're hooligans.

Ask them to knock on the door or ring the doorbell and wait for someone to answer.  After being invited in, they should make a point of saying hello to your mom.  For example, Hi Mrs. Smith.  Simple, right?

Then I'd ask her if your polite friends could come to your house and hang out for an afternoon.  Make sure they aren't too rowdy or noisy and respect your home.  No jumping on furniture, raiding the fridge, etc.  Insist they use manners or leave.  If they don't know what manners are, you'll have to teach them.

If you all (with mom's prior permission, of course) get snacks and drinks, make sure your friends help clean everything up.  That shows respect and responsibility.

After an afternoon or two of your friends being at your home and acting responsibly and respectfully, then ask your mom if you can hang out with them elsewhere.

If your friends are rowdy and without manners or respect for your mom and your home, I doubt she'll come around.

Good luck!  I hope you can show your mom you're responsible enough for her to loosen the reigns on you.

Answer 6

Trust !

the only thing the parents need !

Try to make them trust you, by good relationship, by good academic performance, by your reliable manner and behaviour, not to metion your pals to act the same way when they come into your house.

Good luck !

BTW, it's not that bad to contact your pals over Internet...