I want more/new friends.. a middle school problem ?

Question

Hi guys, I was wondering If I could get your opinion on something.

I just started 8th grade 1 ½ weeks ago. So far I have been hanging out with my old friends from 6th & 7th grade. All my friends are pretty much in the “normal” clique... At lunch the girls are divided with the emo &goth &normal (I sit here) and the preps and jockeys group. I plan on trying out for the tennis team in a few days and I feel confident about it. And soccer in the spring. I have about 2 friends already in those clubs that aren’t in my classes but were close in the last 2 years.

At lunch, my “friends” call the preps bad stuff and say they hate them etc. I always say “you shouldn’t say that because they seem nice to me.” At lunch we have to sit with our 3rd period and only them so we can’t sit with whomever we want. I have about 5 other friends outside of my 3rd period that share the same interests as me and are really nice. The people I sit with at lunch are not really my thing.. I only like about 2 of 7 people I sit with at lunch. The other 5 are bad influences. (do bad in school, no sports, have different interests, curse, and get in trouble with the cops.) The two that I do like have been my friends since 5/6th grade. And they both do good in school, one plans on doing the basketball team. Anddddd both hate preps/jocks/popular kids : =/

I would like to sit with the other group of girls in my class. They all seem very nice and have the same opinions as me. But I KNOW FOR A FACT that if I go over and sit with them, my friends will call me a traitor, call me a prep (I already wear AE, American eagle, Hollister, but I wear other cool things I can find in other places and get complicated by the other “preps” )

What do you think I should do? I really want to have more friends, that aren’t a bad influence.

Answer 1

It might be difficult to change cliques if you've been "friends" with these people for a while.  Trying to change an already established social scene probably won't go well (especially in middle school).  You'll meet new people by playing tennis and soccer, so it will probably be easier than just randomly sitting next to them at lunch.  You're almost in high school, so if you find that your attempts to make new friends doesn't work, you won't have to deal with the same friends once the new school year starts.  Good luck.

And just for the record, don't define yourself based on the clothes you wear.  Don't shop at places where other "preps" shop just so you can fit in with them.  Also don't limit yourself to one particular clique.  It's pretty immature and not conducive to personal growth and self-discovery.

Answer 2

Well do the "preps" like you?  or do they not like your group?

Sense you don't even really like your group, you should be able to hang out with people that you like.  Maybe you have a class with one of the preps?  If so, ask to be their partner or go sit by them.  Making friends with a new group is better if you tackle each person in the group, one at a time, not as a whole.  If you make the teams you want to make, you should make friends with the people on the team.  Tell one of the preps that you love her shirt or shoes or tell her that you her hair is so cute and you've always wished that you could do that with your hair.  Once you think you've become friends with some of the ppl at the prep table, ask the one that you feel most comfortable with if you can sit with them at lunch because you feel that something is wrong at your table or that you don't like them as much as you used to or something like that.  Hopefully, she will say yes and then tell your 2 friends that you are sitting with the preps today and them tomorrow.  Eventually, you can start sitting with the preps more and more and stop sitting with at your table.  Make sure you stay close with your 2 friends because they are the only 2 that you like, so they should be the only 2 that you care what they think of about you.

sorry if that was really confusing!!

Answer 3

get more involved at your school but still have time for your friends and family. and those clothing stores you are wearing right now are not really prep cloths. it's just that all the preps wear them. but you do have to be care full because some preps are nice to you but use you sometimes.  and to get friends that aren't bad influences then just go to a clique that aren't rebellious or dumb or use people. and introduce yourself.

Answer 4

just start hanging out with both cliques and be the one that everyone likes... just be nice to everyone. eventually you can slowly transition to whatever clique you feel better in. good luck!