I want my husband to adopt my child.....?

Question

The man who got me pregnant is NOT in the picture and never has been, my sons biological father is not on the birth certificate, hes never seen him, he does not pay child support, and he has no legal rights to my son what so ever, for all i know he is prob in jail.

My husband wants to adopt my son as his own, my husband has been there throughout my whole pregnancy, birth, and life time for my son. my husband is daddy to my son.

We recently got married and now we are looking to see how to go about him adopting my son.

How do we do this?

Does my babys biological father have to say its ok even tho he really has no legal say any way, but does DNA play a role??

What can we do?

thanks for the help......

Answer 1

"The man who got me pregnant is NOT in the picture and never has been, my sons biological father is not on the birth certificate, hes never seen him, he does not pay child support, and he has no legal rights to my son what so ever, for all i know he is prob in jail. "

The man who got me pregnant?  Are you at ALL responsible for the man YOU chose to father your child?

Please don't talk about your son's father like that to him.  Your hubby can act like 'Daddy" all he wants, but your child will always know that someone else is his natural father.  By insulting tha man you chose to father your firstborn, you are maiming his self-esteem.

Actually, he DOES have legal rights to his son.  So you'd better call around, and track down his pals or family, and find out where he is, or this will come back to bite you.

I hope you chose better this time, for the sake of your son.

Answer 2

If you were married to your husband when the child was born, then he is considered the father. Nothing else needs to be done, but you might want to run that by an attorney.

I understand the bitterness towards the "sperm squirter". I have a different view of "biological" fathers than most. If a man isn't there during the pregnancy, he's not a man, and he's no dad. You didn't get pregnant by yourself and you certainly didn't expect to be bailed on. I'm glad you found someone who loves your child and wants to take on the responsibility. Best wishes.

Edit:

I would like to respectfully add, that initially when I was date raped, I never used the term "rape". I told everyone that (name) F**ced me whild I was passed out. I said it that way for a long time, until someone cleared it up for me. I always use the terminology you use, "the man who got me pregnant", except for here, because I never want my daughter to find out she came to be from a rape. I don't know if this is the case with you or not, but I know there are some other women who do the same thing. A date rape is an emotional struggle. It's someone who you trusted, may have even been best friends with. I have a few friends who have a really hard time dealing with it. These men are part of their social circle.

I am a real advocate for teaching girls / women that while, "No means no." It is best to NEVER step foot into ANY man's home, no matter how much you trust him, ESPECIALLY if you've been drinking. "No" starts at the front door. I think it's a disservice to all women to not tell them this. I know that if someone had told me that way back when, it would have made a difference. We need to teach our daughters that, and we need to teach our sons to never put themselves in a precarious situation that can later be used against them.

Answer 3

I find it funny that women are "coerced" into GIVING AWAY they're babies, but somehow you somepeople find it odd to think that the same can't be true of a man getting a woman into bed.....  

Anyway, while the first poster is right in saying that your son's sperm donor PROBABLY will never find out about this, and PROBABLY won't cause any problems if he does...  I'd still play it safe and have him sign away rights.  If you know his name and birth date, it'll probably cost you about $50 to track down his current location.  If you can't, then you can terminate his rights by running an add in the local paper.  You'll have to talk to a lawyer about all of this, so expect to pay about $1000 all told to get the paperwork to go through.  Think of it as a good way to spend this years tax return money!  It may seem expensive, but if you don't do it, and something happens to you - this "sperm donor" could try to claim your son just for the Social Security money he could get for him.  

Don't worry about the sperm donor trying to get custody now.  If he tries to get his paternal rights, he'll have to pay not only monthly child support starting now, but past due child support going back to when your son was born!  That's alot of cash, and the state can order up to half his paycheck seized each week until he pays up.  If he's been a dead beat so far, he'll easily sign over rights to keep that much money!  

As soon as I can afford to live without the child support, I'll be trying to get my son's father's rights terminated.  I don't think he'll put up much of a fuss.  He's even jumped around from job to job before to try to get out of paying the money - he'd sign ANYTHING to get out of it.  He hasn't seen my son in over two years, and even before that, he only saw him when he would accidentally come by his parents' house while my son was visiting.  Don't let people make you feel guilty for trying to give your son a REAL daddy.  Biology might not be entirely inconsequential - but biology doesn't hold a candle to love.  If you've got a man who will be a real father for your boy, that's worth a billion billion little chemical's on a DNA strand.  Some men just make worthless fathers, and your son shouldn't be punnished just because he shares some genes with one of them.  Good luck!

Answer 4

You can file paperwork for a "step parent adoption".  In my state you are required to be married for at least one year prior to the final hearing.  Since the biological father has no legal rights those won't have to be terminated (which can be a lengthy process).  You can look on look up the forms you need on your state's government website.  You can file yourself (if you fully understand the process) or pay an attorney to do it for you.  I work for a small law office and recently did all the paperwork for my husband to adopt my three year old son.

Jenna

Answer 5

If the b-dad is not on the birth-certificate, he doesn't technically have a say.  The only way he would have a say is if he found out and contested (which , being the loser he is, doesn't sound like he will do).  He would have to do through a DNA test, etc. and then have to pay child support, which we all know he won't do.  I would get a lawyer, and he/she can help you out with any paperwork that wil have to happen.  I have an aqaintence who had this EXACT situation happen to her.  The b-dad abandoned them during the pregnancy, new dad stepped in and adopted him.  She had no problems because b-dad wasn't on the birth certificate, not to mention the ****** wouldn't have cared if he was a father anyway.  Good luck!