I want/need child support but i dont want his father to get visitation!?

Question

Well im 17 and my son is 4 months old. Child support would help me alot since it hard for me to work a full time job since i already have the full time job of being a mom and in college full time. I do have my mothers help though. Any way the father is 19 and beat me for 3 years. threatened to kill me and take my son. said he hoped my son would die. deny him sometimes. I just want to know if there is anyway i can go after him for child support and make sure he doesnt get any visitation. we also live in different states

Answer 1

Unfortunately child support and visitation are two separate things in the courts eyes.

Child support will be assigned no matter what.

Visitation will be assigned based on what the judge feels is best for the baby.  If you can prove the father to be unfit, the judge will assign little to no visitation.

Answer 2

legally the two are not connected.  If he wants visitation and cannot support he could argue for that.  if he is the father he should be paying child support even if he needs to have supervised visitation.  Most cases visitation will be granted even if supervised.  you need to contact someone in your state for real legal advice.  your school counseling program might have phone numbers for low cost legal advice suitable for this situation.

Answer 3

There is no way to keep him from the baby in the eyes of the law unless you can prove he is an unfit Father. Then you can have his rights involuntarily terminated. If he will sign his rights over that would be easiest obviously. Either way, if you try to fight for custody and cant prove he is unfit at any means, then he will end up with some kind of visitation. Word of mouth isnt good enough unfortunately. I have been there done that trust me and it can get ugly..

P.S. You can go to your county child support office and file to recieve child support. If he works they will garnish his wages and a check will be sent to you. If he doesnt then they will force him to pay. BUT getting child support DOES NOT guarantee visitation. If you tell him "no you cant come over" and he doesnt, or he doesnt want to anyway, the longer he stays away the better. Once the child is 3-4 years old and the Father has not been around that is abandonment and can be grounds for parental termination. And if he does pay support, he would STILL have to hire an attorney out of his own pocket to fight you for custody/visitation.

Answer 4

Well you certainly can get child support and prove him unfit. How ever you will have to have proof that he is unfit. Maybe you have some police reports of the domestic violence. If not something else saying he would be an awful parent. But it will invoke a court battle if he chooses to fight for his child. I have an ex who was abusive and there is not enough money in the world that would make me take the chance. I personally advise against it because you always take the chance that he will win in court and be able to have visitation with your son. However there is government assistance you can choose to access. Food stamps, the grandma program (paid day care so that you can work if you go to school.) The is even government child support payments.  If you get WIC they can give you info on accessing some of the government funded benefits. If you don't get WIC then that is the first thing you should get because they basically pay for all of his food at that age. They will help you a ton. Good luck.

Answer 5

If you can prove he has been violent toward you and has expressed ill will toward the child perhaps you can ward off visitation while you seek child support.  Often if a single mom is getting gov't support the gov't goes after the dad.  Are you already collecting WIC or Aid to Families of Dependent Children or whatever they are calling it now?

Shame on you for choosing a loser to be the father of your child!  Now your childhood is over and you must devote yourself to giving your child an upbringing that will build goodness and character in him.  If you and your son are lucky maybe one day you will find an actual good man to take over the father role but proceed carefully, good men are in short supply especially in your generation.

IMHO, Shirley W has the best and most helpful answer.

Answer 6

I am speaking from alot of experience, do you really think if he didnt want you son in the fist place he will want visitation or is it a  matter of he will do anything to get to you. Have you made any reports of the abuse? You can always file for a restraining order against him to stay away from you and your son then after that is set then you can file for child support. Just report anything he does record any phone calls letters document everything the more you have the better.  You can always go thru the state to get free legal aid if you cant afford an attorney. But dont count on him to volentarilly pay the child support he will probably have to have it taken from his pay checks but all he has to do is change jobs and then your screwed again. Get state benifits and they will go after him for the money at least you can count on a check every month.

Answer 7

I guess some of these users have never been in a abusive relationship before!!! Lets be thankful that you got out. :)

Now for starters I think that you do have the right to fight for NON-access to the child claiming him as your child's father is one thing but if it comes down to it...you tell them what he did to you and what he has threatened. You are not stupid and the courts will protect the child if you stress that there is an immediate danger to the child in his care.

Don't let others get you down. I am not sure if you can have both full custody and support but you may have full custody and that should be enough for you just knowing he will not be near your son. You don't need him or his money honey...cause it may be to hard to get both;if he is paying then he is entitled to visits and if you don't trust him then fight for no visitations and except the fact that you will not recieve support.

Good luck to you and I wish you the best for the future.

Answer 8

well the caseworkers or someone should be able to watch him with the kids on the first few visits so ask them

my mom watchs my brother when he visits his kids

and he gets to chose if he wants to see his kid or kids

my brothers little girl is 4 months to

hope you get this figured out GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 9

I think its wrong to expect child support and not want him to visit. Although, if this went to court you wouldn't have any control over visits.

Answer 10

If you go to court the judge will decide and it will be totally out of your hands.. Most times if you pay support they have the right to see the child unless the parent decides otherwise. You should have really thought about what kind of a father he would have been before you got pregnant you knew he was mistreating you so I really don't understand why at 17 you would have stayed with him and have a child....Just do what is right for the child now he should be your only concern now...

Answer 11

Time to give the baby up for adoption.

It will have a better life.

Answer 12

so why did you have his baby after he beat you for three years AND without any stable income?

you have already denied a child of its father by choosing an unsuitable man to have a baby by.

Answer 13

So non of these opioniated a******s that answered your question have experience with the situation and obviously have'nt gone past high school. If you can proove that he is an unfit father and that he did in fact beat you, If you can proove that he will be a danger to the children (which a 19 year old BOY will be) than yes he will be made to pay child support and disallowed visitation rights. I'm a paralegal and i see this all the time in family court.

Answer 14

Go to court and file for support.  He's in a different state and probably doesn't have a job, but if he does, they will find him and garnish his wages.

Answer 15

I can understand why you don't want the father to have any visitation rights. I would seek legal help on this question. I don't know if you can get financial support w/o allowing him visitation. Call an attorney...

Answer 16

You can't have your cake and eat it to!! Let the sleeping dog lie, when he wants to control something/someone again he will be back. I am very glad for you that you got out BEFORE you got killed. That kind don't get better, so stay out of danger's way!!!Good Luck in your new life!