I want to Forget EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED?!?!??!?

Question

I am 22 have been in a 4 year relationship with this so called "woman of my dreams" shes 25, we have a three year old son together and lived together and shared our dreams and hopes together. Back in april, she acted ambivelent and nasty and eventually led a breakup in the end of april. She told she wanted freedom and explore New York City. I was devastated, upset, confused and everything else. She moved out pretty quickly and was just cruel and heartless. After friends have told me that by the speed of her move, you might wanna consider a third party. two weeks later, i went through her t-mobile plan, and i found out she was talking to a japanese guy since March, this guy she has met since Feb. I was upset, i was shocked and could'nt believe it. There were period of time when i was comparing myself to him and why she choose him and i guess she thinks he's more ïnteresting" That's unfair, i am younger and i wanted a stable life for all of us, i could've travel the world and played guitar and dance if i wanted to, but we had a kid. I went through so much pain and it is so unbearable. She showed up with him a couple of weeks ago to pick up my son. How can someone do this and hurt people like this? I've been in my house taking care of my son almost the entire summer. Cried and thought A LOT about what happened. It's as if our relationship never existed for her. My son and me don't deserve this, this is not the way my family should've went. I don't think i'll ever forget this. Now i am just trying to live everyday knowing this, how things have changed. It'll never be the same again :(. Can someone just help with a few words on moving on and advices on how to live life and hope again?

Answer 1

You are so normal - I bet your thinking all kinds of things like - what could I have done differently or if only I had done this one thing better.  But it's just not the case and what you have left, besides a broken heart is a small child.  He hurts and you hurt.  Focus now on his best interests.  You need to be strong to navigate the legal turmoil ahead.  

My best advice - watch what you aim for - be outcome oriented in all things.  Conversations with her from this point forward are going to be hard for you  - so have a plan and talk it out with friends and keep cool.  Your son will feel the tension if you don't make an effort and you never want that.  

As far as hope - and love.  Wow - it hurts today but every day when you get up - it will be a little less.

One day - far from today - a woman - not a girl - will cross your path and because you are a responsible, good man she will want all those things you want and your heart will open up to love again - you just need time to heal.

Answer 2

You will NEVER forget this relationship. Besides you really don't want to or you might do the very same thing again.

You might want to ask yourself why you didn't get married in the full sence of the law. You can't change her but you can change yourself and your actions.

You need to get some legal advice on child custody and support. You do have rights and responabilites to the child.

It would be wise to seek out GOD'S WISDOM in all these matters in the future. It can really save you some unnessary pain.

Retired Private Investigator that specialized in domestic relations.

( Divorce and Child custody )

Steve

Answer 3

As you mentioned in the letter title...F O R G E T  I T.  In this context  I wish to quote Alexander Graham Bell----"When one door closes another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us"----

     Out of thousand and one complaints you have even seen that the whole life, the very possibility that you can be breathe, look, see, hear, touch, love and be loved, is a gift ?  OSHO delivered this. Believe it ?  I hope and assure a new love will blossom very soon for you and your son. Be cheer! My prayers are always for you.

Answer 4

first of all, i know this must be extremely hard for you buh u have to face reality that if she can leave ur child and YOU for someone else who she might have had a fling with ... imagine what else she is capable of

clearly she doenst care about ur feelings and she took the cowards way out by finding a new man instead of trying to talk out the problems in ur relationship and hoping to work it out for ur son's sake

and the more u try to forget what has happened, the worse and more ull remember and will be reminded of it

the best thing to do (And trust me, i speak from more experience than any person deserves in their lifetime) ... u need to face reality. u need to remind ur self day and night of what she did to u, and if thoughts of her do come up .... face them .... think about them ... think about her 24/7 for all u care... cuz TRUST ME ON THIS ... after a few days or a week or so .... it will all become old and boring to a point where ur mind will automatically become so SICK Of thinking about it ... that it will automatically cut down on thinkin about her ... so first few days, u will probably be sad as h**l and think about allllllllllllllllll the time .. buh after a few days .... itll be the same repetitive **** .. and it will slowly cut down to several times a day ......... to a point that one day ull wake up and wont even think about it at all ... and even if the thoughts do come acorss ... ur mind and u wont give them enuff importance to actually DWELL upon them

gluck ... and trust me, ive been thru it and no .. ur right, no one deserves it ... but all the people in the world are not GOOD PEOPLE ... and the sooner u learn that ppl are bad ... the sooner u can recover and not hurt anymore

take care of ur son and find what u like to do best or what uve always wanted to do ... and do it

Answer 5

think dont always end up how you want them to be. Its only normal for people to change. Its not her fault that she doesnt have feeling for you anymore. im sure she just wants to be happy. its your own resposibilty to be happy. think positive all the time, be grateful for what you have.

Answer 6

(((((HUG)))))

Sorry about that. And pop culture would have you believe that it's always the guy who wanders.

I know you're hurt, and like any wounded animal what you've got to do is force yourself to stand up and get moving. Get some attitude and stand up like a man. F this *****, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Start with your attitude and move on to your looks, how you dress, hit the gym and so on. As far as attitude goes you have to come back badder and bolder then ever. You're young and strong and this is only going to add experience and make you stronger. It will not break you. Lucky you found out what a loser she was after only 1 year married and not more. And you have a beautiful child from it which is a blessing not a curse.

Your whole life awaits. Get on your feet and take some action. You're as good as anybody.

Suggested reading;

"The art of seduction" and "The 48 laws of power" both by Robert Greene. You may be shocked when you first start reading, I'm not recommending you follow them, just read them to be aware of how the world around you really works.

Peace & Joy

Robin

Answer 7

What is the settlement in regards to child support?

As much as you may love your child, perhaps this is the time to travel the world and clear your head of all this

Answer 8

You are so lucky.  You have your son.  She could have taken off with him.  You will forget this. this woman is not deserving of you or your child.  I would hire a lawyer get primary physical custody of your son. then if possible move to another place where your and your son can start again.  Don't compare yourself to this foreign, how good of a person  can he be if he knows that your ex has left a child without a second thought.  Next year at this time you will feel much better and hopefully will have started again

Answer 9

I remember this question from several weeks ago. Forget about her. Forget about what is fair and what you expect from her. She is a flake and is not interested. She is 25 and had a child too soon and she is not ready to be a mom. Maybe in 10 years she might realize she made a mistake. Maybe not. Stop waiting around. Only you are in control of you.

Try reading A New Earth by Eckart Tolle, or You can heal your life by Louise Hay.