I want to adopt a child in about two years, how should i prepare?

Question

Im thinking of adopting a child. Im 21 and im sure im capable of having children, but i really do want to adopt a child first from the US, why go over seas when we have kids here who need our help. Is there anyone who can tell me their experience of going through the adoption

Answer 1

Research and training.

Adopting from foster care can be very challenging and at 23 and  presumably with no experience in parenting, you may not meet the requirements to adopt from foster care.  

Please research the needs of children with reactive attachment disorder (RAD), Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and how to meet the needs of children recovering from the trauma of physical and sexual abuse.  

I'm glad your heart is in the right place, but if you want to adopt through the foster care system, you need to be informed and prepared.  Adoption is not always hearts and rainbows, where an abused child is so grateful to finally have a home and everyone lives happily ever after.  

I'm not saying "Don't do it."  I'm just saying, "Don't do it unprepared."

Answer 2

research the options.

There is domestic open (you're matched to an american birthmother who keep some contact- this runs 15-30K- kind of like Juno), international closed (you complete forms and join a waiting list, though this is mostly for heterosexual married couples...15k? Involves more travel) also Foster Care (you receive a placement from county services, little to no cost but the goal of the county is to have it work out with the child and original mother.) Decide- infant, toddler, teen?  These will steer your decision too.

You can decide to use an agency, a facilitator (lawyer), the county, or combos thereof.

Start looking at agencies, attend open houses- as many as you can, see where your comfort level is.  Tell people.  Prepare yourself mentally and start saving.  It's a life changing experience!  Get as much info as you can in advance.  good luck!

Answer 3

Do lots and lots of research! There are different avenues and programs that range in price from free to $30,000 in the US. Being so young though you may have a hard time. Many Birthmothers may not choose such a young parent for their child. Not that it wouldn't happen ever though.

To adopt through the state you would probably only qualify for a  child under 5. And being so young (and single? Idk) The chances that you would even make it to a concideration meeting (where the SW take a handful of the hundreds of inquiries on any particular child to a group meeting to make a choice about which family will adopt the child). Its a hard road unless you qualify to foster. If you are talking about kids who need help that is where you need to go. You can call your local DHS office to inquire about class times and homestudy. (piece of cake, I actually liked the homestudy lady.) Those children sometimes come up for adoption. As the foster parent you usually get the first option of adopting them. That is why so few are available just through state adoption is because in most cases the foster parents adopt them. You do get some income to cover their expences though and it is free for everything else. Good luck!

Answer 4

Adoption from foster care is not expensive. In fact, if you adopt children that are classified as "special needs" you get monthly payments from the government for adopting them to help offset the cost of their care. Special Needs can mean that they're older, non-white, or in a sibling group. It does not necessarily imply physical or developmental disability.

I have not adopted any children (I would like to in the future, but I need to finish school, get married, etc... first), so that's all the advice I've got, but good luck! There are plenty of kids in the U.S. who need loving homes!

Answer 5

If you wish to adopt a child in the United States, your best bet is the foster care system.  Domestic infant adoption does not involve babies that "need your help."   There are fifty couples or more lined up for each available domestic infant adoption, so don't even bother.

The children in foster care, on the other hand, DO need your help.   The best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to read as many books as you can find about adoption, and the issues you and your child will face.  Here are some excellent books:

"Adopting the Older Child"  by Claudia Jewett

"Toddler Adoption:  The Weaver's Craft"

"Older Child Adoption" (by Grace Robinson)

"With Eyes Wide Open" (an awesome workbook!)

Answer 6

well, you can start by being independantly weathy.

Answer 7

The best advice is to research, research, research.  The more research you do, the more prepared you will be for the process, and the more able you will be able to deal with adoption issues with your child.

Adoption can be a scary process for all involved.  I would recommend speaking to a local reputable adoption agency in your area or your local foster/adopt program to learn more about adoption and what type of adoption would work best for you.

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

It's great that you're wanting to start researching early.  Even after you've started the process, you'll still have plenty of time, but the more you learn, and the sooner you start, the better.

I'd start by reading "The Primal Wound", "Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew", "Beyond Consequences", and "Helping children cope with separation and loss".

Stick around here for awhile, ask some more questions, and you'll learn a lot.  There are quite a few adoptees here who can tell you what it's like to be an adoptee, and there are a lot of people here who know the in's and out's of adoption (where the corruption is, what you want to stay away from, what adoption should be about, etc.).  

I spent 3 1/2 years researching adoption before I found Y!A, and I've gotten a better education on here in a few short months, than during the entire 3 1/2 years before coming here.  It's a great place to learn.

Welcome, and good luck on your journey!

Answer 9

I think you should live your life , find man, get married have fun, travel and THEN look at having a child biologically and if you want to "help" then foster children in need.

Answer 10

Start saving your money it cost about $30K, have a stable job and references. If you want to adopt over seas (a little easier) you have to be 25 years old.

Answer 11

Save up!  It's expensive!

You usually have to be 25 as well, and a couple will get a child over a single girl in her early 20s.