I want to adopt but?

Question

My DH got a couple of DUI's due to a tragedy that happened when he was younger and we have some small debt. He makes a 6 figure income (but he and I went through financial difficulties due to my son being very sick ( I lost my job and recently due to us starting a business) and we are wanting to adopt from foster care, we already found a little girl we think will be a wonderful addition to our family. She has some small emotional issues (but I have a degree in Psychology, majoring in Child Behavior and a great deal of experience dealing with behavioral issues so it is not a deterrent to us). Do you think the DUI's will keep us from adopting? Also can we chose who we want to adopt? Thanks in advance for answering.

Answer 1

I think that if you can show that it was a long time ago it may be okay, especially if your husband has completed a 12 step program or done something to show he is committed to sobriety. One or two DUI's as a teen shouldn't be too major of an issue. We all do stupid stuff as teens, and they realize that. Its only if its recent, habitual or they have reason to believe he may drink and drive again in the future that they may say something I think.

Talk to your social worker or call your local department of child and family services to see if the little girl is available for foster and/or adoption. They should have all the information for her to tell you. Good luck!

Answer 2

It seems to me that what you have to offer a child far outweighs your husband's past (and understandable) problems

I greatly admire someone who is willing to give a home to a child who actually needs a home rather than yelling "gimmee a baybeeeeeee!!!!)

Big hugs to you and the little girl.  Best of luck to you all.

Answer 3

I hope it doesn't!!  I think if the parents are loving and financially and emotional stable, then they should adopt!  You can pick what child you want to adopt.  Good Luck!! I hope everything works out!!!!!!

Answer 4

It seems that you have put so much thinking whether to adopt or not... you have considered your situation and you said that you already have someone to be adopted and you believed that you can handle her. It means you know you are financially, and mentally and physically ready for this adoption.

I am not sure whether DUI will prevent you from adopting or not... I am not in the position to give my advice. But I believe people change. If you are ready for an adoption, why not?

Of course you can choose who you want to adopt. I think it is better if you can have someone that you like since you are going to live together... sometimes we treat someone we like better.

Good Luck with your decision.

Answer 5

I dont think that it will affectit if its been a few years and he has taken the steps to redeem himself.  I think that with so many children in foster care that they would try to do anything get a family that wants to love and nuture a child.

Answer 6

It shouldn't be a problem if they are a while back and he hasn't had any trouble since then.  

As far as choosing who you want to adopt, it depends on where that girl is at, if she is "free for adoption" and who is in line before you.  In the foster situation they always look at family first...that can mean uncle bob's ~ sister sue's ~ daugher's ~ husband's ~ Mother!  Well, that is a little bit extreme, but it is kind of crazy who they consider "family" when it comes to foster/adopt.  After they see who of the family is willing, they have to see if they are able.  If no family is both willing and able, then they go to the foster home she is currently in...if they are not interested in adopting, they will look at possible other foster homes she has been in, and then finally after all the other channels...they look at other people.  

Now I am saying all of that just asuming you are homestudy ready and have your foster license.  You are not able to adopt a child out of foster care unless you have taken the classes, done your homestudy, and received your license.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Usually the workers will look at the situation surrounding the DUI's  (was he an alcoholic, has he gone through treatment etc) and the length of time since then.  Also, the every family has debt, but during the home study they will likely look at how you deal with your finances and how you budget.  As long as you have recently been responsible with your finances, and are open with the workers about them, than usually this won't be a problem.

I think you should at least go ahead and try.  If you are rejected, just remember they are doing it for the best interests of the child, it may not be your history, but maybe they feel your personalities won't mesh well with the girls, and that may be because of her likely traumatic history.

Answer 8

I don't think it will affect (DUI)..as long as u pass some of the most important requirements and qualifications..and also u can choose a child you would like to adopt..that would be wonderful! and that's a nice plan.More power to you !