I want to adopt !? please help?

Question

I want to adopt a baby but I don't know how to start or where to look for answers I cant have another child of my own how long does the process take? how much can it cost? am I liable to get my heart broken and what is the difference between private and public adoption

Answer 1

Dear Amber,

While I empathize with your pain of not being able to have any more biological children, you must understand that adoption should Never be used as a backup plan. It isn't fair to you or the child....especially to the child. First and foremost, you need to grieve over the children you will never have. You need to loose all feelings and ideas that your 'only choice is to adopt'. While that may be the case, it sounds and feels like a runner up or second best.

When you have fully grieved, you can simply apply to be an adoptive parent through foster care (DSS/CPS). The process of paperwork, background checks, and homestudy can take up to a year. After that, if you are approved, it takes as long as your stipulations make it take. If you only want a baby, expect to wait longer. If you are willing to take an older child or toddler, then your wait will be shorter. If you only want a white baby, longer, any race and gender, shorter, etc. This is a tax-payer funded program, so your fees will be little to nothing. Take care.

Answer 2

Hi Amber. I'm sorry that you were greeted with such an extreme set of responses, pay them no mind.

It IS important that you deal with infertility before you embark on an adoption; it sounds as if you've done that. As a fertile woman who formed her family through adoption, I can tell you that I am in a tiny minority. Most parents don't turn to adoption until they've had a biological child or had trouble conceiving and that is rarely any sort of problem.

Rather than type out a lengthy explanation of your options, I'm going to refer you to a site managed by Adoptive Families. They publish an excellent magazine and their site is the only one that I use, I've been shocked by the lack of editorial supervision and fact checking at other websites.

Predictability and stability were among our top concerns when we first adopted and that led us to select an International Adoption program. While lead times are longer and costs are higher, we knew what to expect. Remember that international programs vary dramatically from country to country.

Here's a good starting point for you :

http://www.theadoptionguide.com/tools/pl...

You can navigate back to the Adoption Guide to find several other very useful pages and information on specific international programs if that turns out to be a good route for you.

Answer 3

why not have a kid of your own then its better and less money for fees get state insurance then your out no money

Answer 4

Hi Amber,

In part, I have to agree with Tickle Blue, make sure.  Your choice to adopt is from the heart and not out of grief of losing that perfect child.

With that said, we have close to one million children in America that are in the foster care system. As a neonatal nurse and a founder of my nonprofit foundation called.  Angels in Waiting.

I am aware there are many foster care premature infants available known as medically fragile foster care children http://www.angelsinwaitingusa.org/tinyon...

To test the waters.  You can become what's known as ; A foster / adopt foster parent. you may request any age you would like. An age and gender that may be conducive to your family environment.   Remember that older foster children can bring on a lot of emotional turmoil.  However, with appropriate counseling, love, patients and understanding these children can be a great contribution to your family. Because many social workers will sugarcoat foster children for a quick placement.  It is best to call the foster child's teachers and ask pertinent questions related to behavior and personality.

The children placed into the foster / adopt home has an increased likelihood to be placed up for adoption, due to  the brutality of the abuse, or the biological parents have lost other children into the foster care system,  and the chances of them ( the Bio. parents) jumping through the hoops are slim to none.

To read inspiring foster adoption stories.  You can log on to my website at http://AngelsInwaitingUSA.org

~ We are each of us Angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another ~

Answer 5

Try enjoying what you do have. If its not enough then try fostering a teenager or a child with a disability.    

Answer 6

children aren't "meant to" be separated from their mothers so that you can be fulfilled.  It doesn't work that way.

Be happy with your son.  I'm seriously not trying to be rude, but what your asking for is for a child to fulfill your desire for a baby, and that's really not a child's job.  It's wrong to ask a kid to fulfill your desires.  Really wrong.