I want to be a father!?

Question

Ok so im only 20 but for some reason I want to have a kid already! I party and drink more than often and I think having a child would calm me down. I also dont want to look old when my kids get older. I like kids so I think I would be a good father. What do you guys think?

Answer 1

no do not have kids yet wait till your married!!!!

Answer 2

First- not a great reason to have a kid. Second, good for you for aspriring to be a parent, it is one of the most noble things you can do. So, live out your young and crazy days, for they will come to an end and pour your energy into becoming a good provider so that you will find someone that you want to have kids with and eventually have that child you want so much, when you can put your family's needs first and also comfortably meet them.  I hope you will be a great dad. xx

Answer 3

It's great that you're so eager to start a family and lend your love to a child! However, you want to go about it the right way. A child is a HUGE factor in your life and you will need to make many lifestyle adjustments.

If you are in a relationship and want to have a child with your partner, then of course you'll need to discuss the issue with her first. On the other hand if you are single, but you are REALLY AND TRULY ready to become a father you may want to look into adoption. You'll have to check your state's regulations about single parents adopting, and I'm no expert about that, but there are a few other things to consider:

What kind of financial position are you in? You and I are the same age, and I have a wonderful guy who lives with me who I would love to marry and start a family with but our finances right now just won't allow us to do that. A child will drain your bank account VERY QUICKLY. Diapers, formula, check-up, a college fund and many many other expenses pile in on top of your existing bills.

Are you SURE you'll be able to give up the partying and devote your attention to another human who needs your constant care? My boyfriend quit the partying years ago and never looked back but I know others with children who just don't want to stop...they dump their children off on their parents or relatives and go get smashed. You don't want your child to grow up like that, do you?

I'm not trying to dissuade you, only help you look at the big picture. I wish you all the best of luck, wether you choose to have a child now or wait. Take care!

Answer 4

You should watch the show Baby Borrowers. I think it'll change your mind. Get a small dog to fill that void in your life instead...

Answer 5

you better get married fast....kids!

Answer 6

You need to be able to calm down on your own before you think about bringing a baby into the picture. That is the part of parenting everyone seems to leave out. You need to be mature enough to say "hey I should cut back on my drinking" and have the will power to do it. Liking kids is one thing. getting up in the middle of the night, working so you have money for diapers etc. is another.

Enjoy your life now when you are ready calm down and start thinking of a family. And not looking old when your kids are older is not a good enough reason to have a baby,  that statement in itself means you need a little more time to grow up.

Answer 7

get yourself together, get done with school, get a nice job, and have a baby with the person you love..it will only take 3-4 years...if you really want to have a kid, you will do whats best for him/her. you dont wanna bring the baby in this world knowing that you have an unstable lifestyle. what if you have a baby, and you cant stop partying? Its true that you want want to look old when your kids get older, but its more important to give them a lifestyle they deserve. You will get over the urge once you realize what i just said. But again, its your life, you do what you want! :)

Answer 8

its nice to think that you would be a good father, but i think having a kid at this age ( if you don't have a responsible partner) could only make things worse.if you're serious about this and if you are  in a committed relationship, then why not be a father? this way you won't look old when your kids get older.

Answer 9

Well, it's normal to have the paternal instinct. However, you need to settle down with a woman you want to spend the rest of your life with first, BEFORE having kids.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Funny enough, I'm 20 too and I just escaped fatherhood 3 days ago. My ex was 3 months preg and had an abortion on Monday. You cannot understand how relieved I am!!

You can't use a baby as a scape goat from your partying and drinking! And even if you do it wouldn't last long. You'll go right back to your old habits. Do you have the money to raise a child?? You have to find a stable relationship with a woman first. You can't raise a baby at 20 without a mom. Don't you have college to go to? You're willing to put your life on hold for a child at this age? What are you, nuts?

Answer 11

im 20 and i have a kid .the best thing ever i was a party animal any chance i got .and now i dont drink or anything..........................why are people giving me thumbs down ye dont know my situation !!!! I gurantee that me and my partner earn more than any of ye that gave me a thumbs down

Answer 12

well if you realy think your ready then go for it =)

Answer 13

Oh, good.  You're going to put the stopping of your wild behavior on the shoulders of an infant.  Uh, nope.  For sure you're not ready to be a dad.  Try being a wonderful husband first, for 5 years.

Answer 14

lol you need to be put on that show when they give you babies to deal with than todlers kids next teens finally....the elderly! it'll give you a reality check how do you know the kid will make you calm down you might want to drink even more if the kid is bad...

Answer 15

Always wear a condom..........get married, then think about kids

Answer 16

i think that you should first try to calm down with the drinking and partying what if the child doesnt calm you down from all that stuff it would be a disaster for him. it think u should try to calm yourself down with those activities and then after u have done that then have a child ":]

Answer 17

i say get married first...cause if u can handle having a wife, u'll be ready for anything...lol jk

ur kinda young and kids don't calm anyone down...only u can do that

Answer 18

Ok...having a child because you think it will solve your drinking/partying problem is a terrible idea. Do you have a stable income and a home that you could raise a child in?

Lord, please don't reproduce, I don't feel like supporting anymore children through welfare.

Answer 19

A child might calm you down for a few days but you are young and now doesn't seem to be the right time for you. Enjoy the partying and get yourself established as an adult...you have plenty of time for babies later. Do it too soon and you'll resent your decision and s***w it up. Trust me...

Answer 20

well get married and then have kids.  its ok that you want to be a father its UP TO YOU

Answer 21

I think u that u should worry about finding the perfect wife who wants to be a mother as much as u want to be a father

So let finding the perfect be ur priority now

but idea of having a kid this age is GREAT

The earlier the better

But enjoy a few years with ur wife b4 u have a baby ... u know freedom ...

Good luck

Answer 22

Go ahead as long as you and your gf/wife are responsible.

Answer 23

Well its good that you have that feeling but dont use kids as an excuse to stop partying. Then maybe ur not ready even though u may think u are. Im 22 and married and i want a baby bad but i know in my heart im not ready even though i really want one now..And im the same..i dont wanna be old and raise my kid...Just wait till u naturally stop partying then do ahead...Just my opinion..But like i said...Thats a good thing what u feel..u probably ahev a lot of love to give  :-)

Answer 24

Don't use having a kid to calm you down... that is just scary! what if it doesn't work!

Wait until you are actually settled down to have kids ... make sure you have the money, a home, and the life that the child deserves!

I'm 21 ... I'm definitely waiting to have children i want them to have the best life possible! Its worth it to wait dude!